us Page 495 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Corny-Ass Kirk Cousins Wants To Trademark The Phrase "YOU VIKE THAT!"
Kirk Cousins—stacker of symbolic rocks, possible griller of literal rocks, extremely well-paid quarterback—recently filed a trademark application for the phrase “YOU VIKE THAT!”...
SafeSport Bans Taekwondo's Steven Lopez, But Will It Last?
The U.S. Center for SafeSport has banned three-time Olympic taekwondo medalist Steven Lopez, declaring him permanently ineligible earlier this week for “sexual misconduct involving a minor.” According to a copy of the notice of the director’s decision and other SafeSport records, which Deadspin revi...
Anatomy Of A Plaid: Inside A Blogger's Closet
Shirts: My friends, they are a fact of life. I long ago realized that, with the exception of some jobs for which I am not remotely qualified, having a job would mean wearing a shirt of some kind, quite possibly to an office. At least partially as a result, I went on to freelance for the better part...
Russell Wilson's Super Bowl Interception Drove The Seahawks Mad
Sports Illustrated has a lengthy and detailed autopsy of the Legion of Boom Seahawks out today, and it is plenty juicy. It features current and former Seahawks players anonymously talking shit about Pete Carroll and Russell Wilson, and offers further insight into just how devastating the goal-line i...
Naomi Osaka To Upcoming U.S. Open Final Opponent Serena Williams: "I Love You"
Last night, 20-year-old Naomi Osaka beat Madison Keys in a U.S. Open semifinal match 6-2, 6-4 to advance to her first grand slam final, where she will face Serena Williams, who has played in 31 of them. How is Osaka feeling about playing Serena? Pretty good!...
Larry Nassar Loses Another Request For Resentencing
Disgraced former Michigan State and USA Gymnastics doctor Larry Nassar lost today on another one of his requests for a new sentencing hearing, this one in Eaton County, Mich. Like in the case filed against him in Ingham County, multiple women in Eaton said Nassar sexually abused them under the guise...
The Best Match Of Dominic Thiem's Life Wasn't Enough To Beat Rafael Nadal
Every once in a while an athlete will just make you eat your words and your low expectations. Typically they’ll do this by winning; on Tuesday night, Dominic Thiem did it while losing his U.S. Open quarterfinal, pyrotechnically....
Drugs, Dick Injuries, And Liberace's Bodyguard: Just A Normal Season In The Ludicrous And Doomed USFL
Excerpted from Football for a Buck: The Crazy Rise and Crazier Demise of the USFL. Copyright © 2018 by Jeff Pearlman. Reprinted by permission of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. All rights reserved....
The Justice Department Is Investigating How The FBI Fucked Up Its Larry Nassar Investigation
The Wall Street Journal reported yesterday that the U.S. Department of Justice is conducting a probe into how the FBI mismanaged its investigation into sexual abuse allegations made against former Michigan State and USA Gymnastics doctor Larry Nassar. Thiis comes after the FBI conducted its own inte...
Men Should Play Best Of Three Sets, And Anyone Who Says Otherwise Is A Weenie Like ESPN's Brad Gilbert
At the grand slams—Australian Open, French Open, Wimbledon, and U.S. Open—men play best-of-five set matches, and these matches are often too long. (Men play best of three sets at all other tournaments, except the Davis Cup.) At Wimbledon this year, John Isner and Kevin Anderson played for more than ...
FanSided, <i>Sports Illustrated's</i> Slimy Appendage, Reeks Of Exploitation
In 2015, Time Inc., the listing titan of 20th-century publishing, bought FanSided—a network of more than 300 sport- and team-centric blogs producing the sort of easily digestible and SEO-friendly posts that exist purely to show up near the top in Google searches—and attached it to their legacy publi...
Naomi Osaka Has Been Ruthless And Efficient At The U.S. Open
There was one close one—a fourth-round victory over Aryna Sabalenka that took her all three sets—but beyond that, the U.S. Open has been one continuous bloodbath for Naomi Osaka, the 20-year-old No. 20 seed. These are massacres on the order of Rafael Nadal carving up Roland Garros. Three times, she...
Adrian Beltre Crushes Homer, Gets His Head Touched, Reacts Accordingly
The 39-year-old version of Adrian Beltre has more hamstring injuries and isn’t as powerful as his previous iterations, but when he connects on a pitch, it sounds lovely. And regardless of his age, the Rangers third baseman will always have the same reaction when someone tries to touch his head....
Wet Tennis Is Bad For The Players And Painful To Watch
Anyone who organizes a tennis tournament that involves Roger Federer should be concerned when this sentence comes out of that man’s mouth, as it did Monday night, while discussing the conditions of his match:...
USA Gymnastics Boss Kerry Perry Is Forced Out After Nine Scandal-Plagued Months
Kerry Perry, we hardly knew ya. This is mostly because in the nine months that you were in charge of USA Gymnastics, you avoided the media like it was the plague and you had a high deductible health insurance plan. But just because Perry, who was asked to resign by USAG’s board on Tuesday, never rea...
Roger Federer Got Soaked
Pick a handful of points at random from Roger Federer’s fourth-round U.S. Open loss to John Millman and you are liable to find some extremely un-Federer moments. Maybe he lines up a backhand slice only for the ball to drip to the ground two feet away. Maybe he shanks a routine overhead into the net,...
U.S. Open Fan Who Dunked Chicken Tender Into Soda: "People Are Telling Me I Should Go To Jail"
The most repulsive thing at the U.S. Open this weekend wasn’t John Millman’s shirt or Tennys Sandgren’s personality, but this chicken tender dipped into a soda by a woman in the stands. Fox 5 found Alexa Greenfield, the bold flavor revolutionary (or gross weirdo, depending on your worldview) and got...
Joe West Gums Up Phillies' Strategy With Textualist Reading Of Foreign Substance Rule
A strange thing happened in the eighth inning of Saturday night’s Cubs-Phillies game. Veteran umpire Joe West, working third base, noticed Phillies reliever Austin Davis pull a notecard out of his back pocket before pitching to Addison Russell, and decided he needed to know more, and brought the gam...
USA Gymnastics Is Imploding
For a brief moment after last month’s national championships, it seemed like things were getting better, if only slightly, for USA Gymnastics. We had the return of gymnastics juggernaut known as Simone Biles, who demonstrated that nine months of training is all she needs to become unstoppable in the...
U.S. Open Chair Umpire Betrayed By Arm Rest, Eats It
It’s been a weird tournament so far for U.S. Open chair umpires. Less than a week into the tournament, chair umpires—whose goal is to be an unobtrusive as possible—have been directly responsible for launching two huge controversies: First, a chair ump needlessly penalized Alize Cornet for changing ...