us Page 615 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Great Pics, Wade!
The Super Bowl-winning Denver Broncos made their visit to the White House today, and defensive coordinator Wade Phillips took pictures to document the trip. His photography skills are equivalent to those of your dad, so none of the shots are properly framed, and the captions are as brief as possible...
Cobb County Needs To Raise Taxes To Pay For Public Parks Because All The Park Money Already Went To The Braves' New Stadium
SunTrust Park, the Braves’ fancy new suburban stadium, came at a cost of nearly $400 million to Cobb County taxpayers. It doesn’t open until next year, but that bill is already coming due—and the opportunity cost is no longer theoretical....
Muhammad Ali Was The Meanest Boxer Of All Time
Muhammad Ali had the most unsuccessfully imitated fighting style of all time. Even now, three and a half decades after his retirement, you can still find boxers making the mistake of trying to fight like him and getting their faces split open as a consequence. This is his most lasting contribution t...
Kevin Love In Concussion Protocol After Taking Elbow To The Head
This hasn’t exactly been the redemptive trip to the Finals Kevin Love was probably hoping for. After scoring 17 points and grabbing 13 rebounds in the Game 1 loss, Love had the worst night possible in Game 2. He scored five points and corralled three rebounds in 21 minutes, and had to remove himself...
Patriotic Idiot Delays Astros Game
Today’s A’s-Astros game in Houston came to a screeching, but patriotic, halt in the bottom of the fourth after a fan rushed the field bearing what we’re told was an American flag. U-S-A! U-S-A!...
Colombia Take 2-0 Lead; At Least We Get The Heavy Metal Goal Call
A handball in the box set James Rodríguez up for a penalty that put Colombia up 2-0 on the U.S., and our only consolation is that we get to listen to El Cantante del Gol, Javier Fernández, call it—as heard in Colombia on Caracol TV....
The USMNT Needs To Go Young Or Die
The United States Men’s National Team will open the Copa America Centenario—a wonderfully entertaining Frankentournament that the U.S. is hosting only through sheer force of corruption—with a match against Colombia tonight in Santa Clara, Calif. Colombia is the shit. They could have taken down Brazi...
Judge Rules USWNT Must Abide By No-Strike Clause
A federal judge ruled Friday that the United States Women’s National Team is bound by a no-strike clause, ruling out the possibility of a strike before or during the upcoming Rio Olympics....
FIFA Reveals $80 Million In Probably Illegal Payments, Headquarters Raided Again
FIFA headquarters in Zurich, Switzerland, were raided yesterday by police, as they sought evidence that former top FIFA officials Sepp Blatter, Jerome Valcke, Markus Kattner illegally awarded themselves $80 million in pay raises and bonuses, AP reports. Blatter and Valcke were previously banned from...
Rainstorm Interrupted By MLS Game
You might not be able tell this apart from everyday MLS action, but if you look closely, you’ll see that the field is a bit, uh, damp....
I Am Hypnotized By This Ingenious Caveman
There is a man in Australia who goes out into the bushland of Far North Queensland to live out his caveman fantasies. The practice is called primitive technology, which he describes as “a hobby where you make things in the wild completely from scratch using no modern tools or materials.” Lest the va...
Francisco Rodriguez Details Effects Of Zika Virus
Longtime closer Francisco Rodriguez, currently pitching for the Tigers, told ESPN this evening that he contracted Zika virus this offseason while he was in his native Venezuela. The 34-year-old pitcher described what happened to him while he was sick, and it sounds pretty gnarly. The most alarming e...
David Alaba Scored Just The Dumbest Own Goal
Transitioning from a bunch of Champions League games and a cup final to a relatively placid friendly against Malta can be a shock to the system. Rarely, however, does it result in such a hilarious, dumb own goal, like the one Bayern Munich star David Alaba scored on his own team this afternoon....
Report: David Blatt Agrees To New Deal With Obscurity
David Blatt has reportedly taken a job with Turkish basketball club Darüşşafaka Doğuş, which has to be the steepest career drop ever for a coach who was in the NBA Finals one year ago....
Patrick Marleau Won't Be Disciplined For Hit To Bryan Rust's Head
With his first-period goal, Bryan Rust has now scored six times in this postseason—a Penguins playoff rookie record. It may be a while before his next one. Early in the third, Rust suffered what appeared to be a concussion on this hit from Patrick Marleau....
Umpire Mike DiMuro Forced To Leave Game After Taking Foul Tip In The Face
Mike DiMuro left today’s Red Sox-Blue Jays game and underwent a concussion protocol after a second-inning foul tip drilled the veteran umpire square in the face....
Russell Westbrook Tells Us How He Really Feels About Steph Curry's Defense
After last night’s loss to the Golden State Warriors, Russell Westbrook and Kevin Durant were asked if they think Steph Curry is an underrated defender. Westbrook reacted like he’d just been asked if he likes to shop at T.J. Maxx....
The Houston Rockets Have Reportedly Hired Mike D'Antoni
According to multiple reports, the Houston Rockets will hire Mike D’Antoni to be their new head coach....
Pirates Announcer Greg Brown Tells Off Tony La Russa, Who Barged Into His Booth Mid-Game
Diamondbacks Chief Baseball Officer Tony La Russa occupied the Pittsburgh Pirates’ TV broadcast booth during Tuesday’s game after play-by-play announcer Greg Brown said that La Russa had a history of retaliatory pitches during his managerial days. In today’s game, Brown defended his comments and cri...