us Page 934 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bayer Leverkusen’s Sidney Sam Scores An Absolute Pearler
And Sidney's wasn't even the best name on show in Leverkusen's 3-1 win over Kaiserslautern on Sunday — this crack canceled out an opener from defender Florian Dick....

A Sensible Man In Gainesville Wants Restraining Orders Against Tebow, Obama, And Jesus
John D. Gilliand of Gainesville, Florida, filed three petitions for injunction for protection against repeat violence last week — against everyone’s favorite Messiah Tim Tebow, President Barack Obama, and, to complete this holy trinity, Jesus....

NASCAR Was Entertaining, Bizarre Last Night
Fistfights on the track, drivers flipping officials off, flying car parts crashing into skyboxes, and monkeys. Not just another night at Texas Motor Speedway. Monkeys!...

Bud Selig Thinks Abner Doubleday Invented Baseball. Of Course He Does.
Is there a better summation of the Bud Selig Era than the fact that the man himself recently declared in a letter, "I really believe that Abner Doubleday is the 'Father of Baseball'"?...

Things Are Getting Really, Really Weird In Carolina
The 34-3 loss to New Orleans is one thing. An expected thing. But what's going on in this picture tipster Bryan R. just sent? Don't tell me there's a water bottle hidden behind random dude's head, either. There ain't....

Balls Bouncing Every Which Way Into Buckets Makes For Oddly Exhilarating Viewing
Click to view What I like the most about this video is that the creator kept the misses. Well, the really cool misses (or at least some of them)....

How To Cover A Dog Sex Scandal: Just Another Day At Deadspin
Sometimes, we get stories that even we aren't sure what to do with. Here's a transcript of a discussion on how to package a story about a rugger with his dick in a dog's mouth. This is how your sausage gets made....

People Are Psyched That Chris "Mad Dog" Russo's Baseball Team Won, According To Chris "Mad Dog" Russo
Professional yelling person Chris Russo, who once yelled some stuff about his Giants, tells our old friend Ben Cohen, "I'm amazed at how many fans are happy for me." [WSJ]...

Your "Arena Football-Level Passing Numbers" Texans-Colts Open Thread
Indy is seriously banged up, but Houston has the worst passing defense in the league. Think Manning will throw a TD or five? Schaub to Johnson isn't too shabby either. AFC South supremacy on the line here. Musings below....

Zach Galifianakis Will Probably Smoke Even More Pot On TV If California Legalizes It
On Friday's Real Time, Out Cold funnyman Zach Galifianakis smoked a joint during a panel discussion of California's Proposition 19 ballot initiative. In related news, Fox News's Margaret Hoover probably listens to a lot of Miles Davis on her days off....

JaMarcus Russell "Stands Firm As Man of Integrity" After Purple-Drank Ruling
He fled the Oakland Raiders, got grand-jury clearance on felony "purple drank" havin' charges and has "John Lucas Basketball Resources" doing some PR. Aw yeah, JaMarcus Russell is back in tha game, yo!...

Did Concussion Earlier In The Month Lead To A High-School Football Player's Death?
A Kansas City-area high school football player died on the field Thursday night; Ron Stiles said his son Nathan "suffered a concussion in the school's homecoming game earlier this month ... he had been cleared to play Thursday."...

"Celtic" Delonte West Gets Into A Locker-Room Fight With Von "Who?" Wafer
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Pape Sy
Welcome to Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater, the occasional feature wherein we examine fan-made video love letters to athletes and their wildly inappropriate soundtracks. It's been a while, but we're back with a doozy: Atlanta Hawks rookie Pape Sy set to some opera....

This JaMarcus Russell Interview Is Soul-Crushing
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: ex-Raider and substance abuser JaMarcus Russell....

Fist-Bumping, Stationary-Bike-Riding Yao Ming Is The Best
Between this and this, Yao Ming is fast becoming one of the most interesting people to watch doing calisthenics. [via @jose3030]...

Death Row Inmate's Last Words: "Boomer Sooner"
Jeffrey Landrigan was put to death last night, but not before saluting his favorite football team. He's not an OU grad though; like most Sooners fans, he never went to college. Hope his pen pals aren't still waiting for replies. [Arizona Republic]...

Paul The Octopus Couldn't Predict His Own Death
Paul passed away peacefully in his sleep this morning, after a distinguished career as a World Cup prognosticator. He was 2. He is surived by his closest relative, Squiddly Diddly. In lieu of flowers, please send tartar sauce. [CNN]...

Jon Gruden Once Again Drawing Abstract Penises On Nation's Television Screens
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Weekend Winner: The Guy Who Won A PGA Event With A Goddamned Hole-In-One
Going into the fourth sudden-death playoff hole, tied with two other players, Jonathan Byrd teed off. That was all he needed....