us Page 972 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Return Of The Revenge Of The Customized Jersey
We asked for more. You delivered more....and more....and more. Whether it's a duct taped Brett Favre jersey or turning a beer cooler into a motorcycle, America has not lost its ingenuity, nor its desire for custom, DIY nonsense....
Redskins Season Quickly Devolving Into Roland Emmerich Film
Oh, man. This Washington Redskins season. Let this be a lesson to you other teams: if you're not gonna contend for the playoffs, please have the courtesy to implode in the most hilarious manner possible....
USC's Blake Ayles Thanks Notre Dame Fans For Their Hospitality
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Sad News Out Of Storrs
UConn cornerback Jasper Howard was stabbed to death after a school-sponsored dance at the student union. [Courant]...
Stacy Andrews Accused Of Lovingly Punching Girlfriend
I always got Eagles offensive linemen Shawn Andrews and Stacy Andrews confused. But now I have a handy way of distinguishing the two: Shawn is insane, and Stacy is accused of face-punching his lady....
Little People Racing As Deserving An Olympic Sport As I've Seen
If beer commercials and 80s movies are to be believed, everything's bigger in Australia. Except the jockeys; they're little people. And the horses; they're regular size people....
Dittoheads Respond To Rush's Nixed NFL Bid With Sadness, Holocaust Poetry
"Tonight..." RedState's tsquare intones in a headline, "We Are All Rush Limbaugh." And then it gets so much better....
Former Penn State Player Suing School After Rape Charges Dropped
Two years ago, Penn State running back Austin Scott was arrested and kicked off the football team when he was accused of rape. Seven months later, the case was dropped, but not soon enough to save his NFL career. Oops!...
Mike Sims-Walker's Week 5 Status: Out-Nookie
Jacksonville wide receiver Mike Sims-Walker was deactivated for Sunday's game against Seattle, an absence that more deeply affected your fantasy league than the Jaguars, who lost 41-0. Why was he out? Why else? Coitus....
This Man Died 27 Points Too Early
An 89-year-old Lincoln man emerged from a coma to fulfill his last wish - to watch Nebraska play Missouri before dying. The worst part - he lost consciousness before NU's fourth quarter comeback. [World Herald]...
Today In Binghamton Fallout
Binghamton has placed coach Kevin Broadus on a paid leave of absence, at last giving in to the widely held perception that Broadus had recruited the Hole-in-the-Wall Gang to the shores of the Susquehanna....
Report: Limbaugh Dumped From Potential Rams Ownership Group
According to Adam Schefter, the investment group looking to buy the St. Louis Rams has decided that Rush Limbaugh's money is not worth his baggage and they plan to drop him from their ranks....
Binghamton Basketball Program Not Getting Any Better
After coach Kevin Broadus admitted to violating NCAA contact rules, the school banned him from off-campus recruiting. On-campus recruiting is limited watching frat pledges play NBA Live on their Xboxes. [ESPN]...
Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Touching The Hem Of His Garment Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....
USA Wins FIFA!
Well, not really. But after a nailbiting 3-2 victory at Honduras, they are the first CONCACAF side to qualify for next summer's World Cup. Suck on that, Netherlands Antilles. [USSoccer.com]...
Stafon Johnson Appreciates The Ironic T-Shirt
USC running back Stafon Johnson seems to be doing pretty well, considering he was nearly decapitated by a barbell just days ago. Well enough to pose for pictures with his matching tracheostomy tube and weightlifting t-shirt, anyway....
Revenge Of The Customized Jerseys
Our personalized jersey collection has become so popular and so big, we had to add another room. The closet is now a walk-in. (But we can do more. Keep sending them.)...
Will Black Players Refuse To Play For Rush Limbaugh's Rams?
From a purely political standpoint, letting Rush Limbaugh buy into your football team is already an iffy proposition, but there's a more practical football issue to consider as well. Will some top players refuse to work for him?...
Australian Racing Fans Forced To Be Slightly Less Drunk Than Normal
Australia's legendary Bathurst 1000 motorcar race has been besieged by drunkenness in recent years, so this year police are cracking down. Only one case of beer, per person, per day. Show some restraint, people! [Telegraph/Sports Rubbish]...
Potential Owner Of St. Louis Rams Offers Fun Stereotype About Midnight Basketball Players
Much like softball is the favorite sport of lesbians and soccer the preferred choice for illegal immigrants, radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh declares basketball "the favorite sport of gangs." I thought it was dominoes? [MediaMatters]...