us Page 977 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Big Ben Hurt; You May Commence Panicking
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Aural Secs: Bolt's 19.19 Explained With Music
How fast is 19.19? Gawker's Mike Byhoff used Sonic Youth to illustrate the latest record-shattering majesty of Usain Bolt's 200-meter gallop....

Arrggh! My Back!
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Put Your Hand Up If You <em>Don't</em> Own The Dolphins
Not so fast, Williams sisters. Venus and Serena join Gloria Estefan, Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez as minority owners in Miami. "Minority" meaning as opposed to majority owners, not as opposed to white people. [AP]...

Deadspin I-Team: Who Is Rick Reilly's Virtual Bodyguard?
Avid readers of Rick Reilly®'s Wikipedia entry might've noticed a recent change: It is now, in every sense of the word, toothless....

She's The Man?
South African distance runner Caster Semenya will run in tonight's women's 800-meter final at the track and field world championships in Berlin, despite concerns that she's a dude pulling a reverse Yentl on the world....

Major Leaguer Says What We're All Thinking, Likely To Be Fined For It
Jack Cust: "It's kind of funny they spent all that money on the Mitchell Report and a bunch of hearsay and the guy who made all the money off it happened to work for the Red Sox." [AP]...

Rangers Welcome Ivan Rodriguez Back Into Their Pudgy Arms
Houston puts the Rangers' old catcher on a bus to Arlington, receive two prospects in return, and Texas fans get a daily reminder that old age will someday leave them a broken shell of their former selves. [Dallas Morning News]...

Words That Cris Carter Shouldn't Use During Live Television
me·shug·ge·neh (m-shg-n) or me·shug·ge·ner (-nr) adj. Crazy; senseless.n. One who is crazy. [ESPN/YouTube]...

USC's Trophy Department Drops The Ball
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

The Greg Paulus Experience Rolls On
What does it say about Syracuse that an ACC hoops player who didn't touch a football for four years is now their starting quarterback? What does it say about us that we can't quit Greg Paulus? [SU Athletics/Post-Standard/Bentern]...

Victorino Beer Drencher Inspires Fans Around The World
An Australian Rules Footballer was the victim of a copycat beer thrower, no doubt inspired by the Wrigley Field hooligans who doused Phillie Shane Victorino. You mess with the bull, you get a cup of Foster's thrown in your face....

This Story Is Trying To Break Your Heart, Part II
For those who, like me, are pathetic saps when it comes to feel-good stories of fathers, sons, and sports well the tale of Miami Hurricane walk-on Chris Hayes will destroy you. WARNING: Some of you may cry. [Sun-Sentinel]...

Aural Secs: Bolt's 9.58 Explained With Music
How fast is 9.58 seconds? Watch this video. I think you'll understand....

Yes, Please Help The Mighty FJM
"FJM fans: we're editing Deadspin Sep. 16 and need articles to fisk. Please send links to my firejoemorgan.com email address."[KenTremendousTwitter]...

NHL Sues To Force Coyotes To Fly US Airways
Phoenix has been losing money hand over fist, so the NHL wants them to cut expenses. First up: get rid of that fancy shmancy chartered plane, and start flying the red-headed stepchild of domestic airlines....

Iron Hammer to Coach Guangdong
Coach Lang Ping, who led U.S. women's volleyball to silver at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, has joined the previously unaccomplished Guangdong Hengda team. Lang, nicknamed the Iron Hammer, was a gold-medal player and silver-medal coach for China. [China Daily]...

And Now A Musical Interlude From John Daly
The big guy dropped out of the PGA Championship after one round (citing a bad back) and then dropped this smash hit single (citing the chords from "Every Rose Has Its Thorn.") Spoiler!: It's about being sad. [Devil Ball Golf]...

U.S.A. on Road to Amputee-Sports Glory
The New York Times reports on the development of a new, potentially world-class American sprinter: Jerrod Fields, who lost his left foot and lower leg to an IED in Baghdad....

Landon Donovan Has Swine Flu
And no, he didn't get it from being showered in urine and vomit by Mexican fans. But here's your excuse for yesterday's match result, Sam's Army. [FanNation]...