us Page 978 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The UFL Might Actually Be A Practical Joke
The United Football League unveiled its team names and uniforms this week, just hours before tickets went on sale for games you did not realize were taking place, featuring players that may not exist. Is this really happening?...

Your U.S.A. vs. Mexico Open Live Thread Thingy
Fire up, gringos! It's like the original Mexican-American War, only with less malaria. The winner gets to punch Lou Dobbs in the face; loser gets to keep Texas. Olé your brains out in comments....

Pitino's Contract Has A Morality Clause
Rick Pitino's contract has a couple vaguely worded clauses that could figure into whatever fate awaits him at Louisville. One refers to "acts of moral depravity," the other to "willful misconduct" that "tends to greatly offend the public."...

The Long Strange Sad Journey Of Lawrence Phillips
Former Nebraska/NFL running back Lawrence Phillips was convicted of seven felony charges yesterday and faces up to 25 years in prison, but he's already in jail, serving a 10-year sentence for another crime. How did it come to this?...

It Has Been The Most Fabulous Offseason Ever
First it was the UT Lamborghini. Then GaTech and the Transformers. Did the NCAA send out a memo requiring teams to make their preseason publicity photos as macho-in-the-Village-People-sense as possible?...

Deadspin Hall Of Fame Inductee: Barbaro
Presenting the final 2009 inductee to The Deadspin Hall Of Fame ......

Deadspin Hall Of Fame Inductee: Charles Barkley
Presenting the first 2009 inductee to The Deadspin Hall Of Fame ......

T-Pain (and Auto-Tune) Makes Dolphins Fight Song Slightly Less Terrible
Miami has long relied on terrible music to rally their football team, but this is the 21st Century, so they hired T-Pain to hip-hopify their fight song by 20% or so. The kids love this stuff....

Josh Hamilton's Re-Redemption Begins After The Vituperative E-mails End (Update)
Josh Hamilton's photo-documented backslide onto a bar-top covered in whip cream while being groped by strange women was potentially disastrous, but he responded with a shockingly disarming press conference. But Hamilton's fans (Hambone Heads) went predictably berserk on us anyway....

Greg Paulus Is The Biggest Legend In Virginia Tech History
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

The Tao Of Mutton Bustin'
12-year-old Trysta espouses her wisdom: "I just tried to hold on to the sheep like it was a pillow."(Photo by Chris Dunker)[The Beatrice Daily Sun]...

The Devil Is Still In Josh Hamilton (Update)
Josh Hamilton claims he's been sober since October 2005. Since then he's rejuvenated his career, saved his marriage, devoted himself to Jesus, and become America's flawed, homer-derby hero. Last winter, while he was alone in Tempe, Arizona, Hambone kinda slipped....

Deadspin HOF Nominee: Barbaro
Oh, like he wasn't going to get a nomination. Barbaro will be nominated until you guys finally come to your senses and elect him....

Deadspin HOF Nominee: Stephon Marbury
There is always a danger, when documenting the cascading madness of a public figure, that they will someday snap, clouding all your previous coverage in tragedy....

Prop 8 Never Saw This Coming: Woman Marries A Carnival Ride
This woman loves this amusement park ride. No, she really loves it. Enough to let "him" put a ring on it. Let's go down the rabbit hole with this most tenuous of sports angles....

Deadspin HOF Nominee: Jay Mariotti
Oh, Jay, Jay, Jay. You are an evil temptress. No matter how hard we try, we just can't help ourselves from making you more famous....

Deadspin HOF Nominee: Stephen A. Smith
Deadspin has been having fun with Stephen A. Smith since the site began. (The very first week, actually.) We've even come around to like him. A little....

Why Your Team Sucks: Houston Texans
Some people are fans of the Houston Texans. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Houston Texans. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

This Is A Future NFL Linebacker
How did Bengals tight end Chase Coffman develop his "legendary" toughness? You guessed it ... mutton bustin'. [Bengals.com; pic via]...