us Page 990 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ron Artest Fondly Remembers That Terrible, Hilarious Night At The Palace
Ron Artest had a nice moment last night when he went into the stands after a loose ball. It was just like the last time he went into the crowd, only not as hysterically funny....

Australian Rules Football Team Wants To Play By <i>Really</i> Different Rules
The Torquay Tigers football club of Australia raised a few eyebrows with this recent ad for the team's upcoming "All White Night"—a social evening of food, fun, and racial purity....

Stinky Jinx Makes Greinke Cranky
Zack Greinke makes the cover of Sports Illustrated (the first Royal in 16 years) and promptly loses his 43-inning scoreless streak. I thought this guy was great at overcoming obstacles or something. [FantasyPros911]...

If You Don't Want To Be Hassled By Nigerian Prostitutes, Don't Chew Gum
Robert Lunn is a former defensive tackle from UCONN. He graduated in 2008 and is now playing professional football - in Portchach, Austria. He's graciously shared some of the things he's experienced so far....

Usain Bolt's Winged Appendages Undamaged In Accident
Usain Bolt was not seriously injured in a car accident in Jamaica yesterday—just minor injuries to the balls of his feet. That's good....I'm sure he won't be needing his feet for anything important. [Jamaica Observer]...

Dwight Howard Out For Game Six, Magicians Everywhere Mourn
Dwight Howard has been suspended one game for getting all elbow-y on Philly's Samuel Dalembert. (Rajon Rondo? It's all good!) I hope we all learned something valuable here. [Orlando Sentinel; Chicago Tribune; WFNY]...

This Is Not Alexander Ovechkin's Strip Club Receipt
Like any young rich athlete, Alex Ovechkin likes to have a good time, but there are probably enough actual crazy stories about him out there that people don't need to be making them up....

Embrace The Goodness That Will Be 'Hard Knocks: The Cincinnati Bengals'
After making it through last season's promising Hard Knocks: Dallas Cowboys without any noteworthy melodrama, HBO decided it needs to inch a bit closer to full-on madness. Yes, Hard Knocks: Cincinnati Bengals is for real....

You Suck, Schuster!
A double in the top of the third ended Patrick Schuster's bid for a fifth consecutive no-hitter. [TampaTribune]...

The University Of Oregon's Ultimate Frisbee Team Knows What It Means To Be ULTIMATE, Man
Suspended for off-field antics, the team got all "Footloose" at a school board meeting: "Speeding, drinking, nudity - they're not bad things. They're things a big portion of the community doesn't think are wrong." [SeattleTimes]...

Can This Kid Throw Five No-Hitters In A Row? (No Pressure!)
Florida high school pitcher Patrick Schuster goes for no-hitter No. 5 today in the state playoffs. But he already got his feature in the New York Times, so what's the point? [NY Times]...

Cardinals Fans Unable To Head For The Mountains
Busch Beer is apparently very hard to come by at Busch Stadium this season. And this is a problem somehow? [Riverfront Times]...

See You On Down That Road, Redux
And now a special farewell to Rick Chandler from Emeritus, William F. Leitch....

Donald Brashear Suspended Six Games For Breaking Faces
Six! One for pushing Colton Orr and five for a late hit on Blair Betts—so he'll miss Tuesday's Game 7 and most (maybe all?) of the next series if they win....

Russian Website Publishes Photos Of Alexei Cherepanov's Blood Doping Injections
Russian hockey prospect Alexei Cherepanov died on the ice last year and in the post-mortem was accused of blood doping, an accusation made slightly more credible by these photos of him happily taking injections in his arm....

Throwback Uniforms That Will Possibly Make You Want To Throw Up
If there's one thing that history has taught us, it's that mustard yellow and brown are excellent choices for professional sports uniform colors. See, this is why I miss you, American Football League....

Stephen A. Smith Still Has Remarkable Confidence That Stephen A. Smith Can Continue Being Stephen A. Smith
Stephen A. Smith is taking his ESPN loser's lap to the airwaves, but is still passionately promoting STEPHEN A. THE BRAND to whomever gives him the opportunity to talk about himself....

The Loyalty Of Greg Paulus Is Now In Question
First he wants to play football for some Big Ten school—now Duke's posterboy is being photographed holding a baby in Carolina Blue? Or maybe he's about to eat it? [850Buzz, via RTC; explanation here]...

Rangers Coach Suspended For Fighting Fans
It looks like Sean Avery's hot-headed, loose cannon ways are rubbing off on his head coach John Tortorella, who got himself suspended for today's crucial Game 6 (on national TV!) against the Capitals....