us Page 991 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Andre Smith Needs Your Support, Both Emotionally And Areolically
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Gary Bettman Does Not Appreciate Your Octopus-Throwing Antics
A Red Wings fan throwing an octopus on the Columbus Blue Jackets home ice? Sir, this will not stand! (Scuffle ensues — see photo)....

Rick Ankiel Is The Latest American Mustache Hero
According to the American Mustache Institution, Ankiel's "labia secula" (Latin for "lip sweater", apparently) is responsible for his increased production at the plate. [AMI]...

Feds Seize Brandi Chastain's Bra, Demand Ransom
If you want to see the bra alive again, leave $250 in unmarked bills at the enclosed location. No tricks. Bra will be shipped within 5-7 business days....

Martellus Bennett Wants To Know Why He Loves Chicken So Much
Everyone's favorite Cowboy blogger has been off for a week, but he came back with an important post that will surely further a difficult, but necessary debate—why do black people love the fried chicken?...

Tom Izzo To Make Musical Theater Fans <i>Les Miserables</i>
Look...I love Tom Izzo and I hate cancer, but if a Broadway-style musical extravaganza starring an undersized Yooper doesn't have Bad Idea Jeans written all over it, I'll eat my tap shoes....

Ole Miss Football Players Don't Read So Good
Mississippi lineman Jerrell Powe raised some hackles this weekend when he was cited by police for a noise violation—then told the officer that he couldn't sign the citation because he doesn't know how to read....

I Guess This Is What You Live For
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Columbus Will Never Forget Its First Time
Down 0-2 to Detroit, the Blue Jackets host their first-ever home playoff game tonight and Puck Daddy has a tribute to other playoff virgins. Confused Buckeye fans are unsure what to burn. [Puck Daddy]...

Which Team's Fans Have The Most Trouble With Erectile Dysfunction?
This is a new weekly column from Leitch. It has words, and pictures. It's called Ten Humans Of The Week. It might or might not work. But here it is....

Four No-Hitters In A Row? OK, That's Impressive
When I heard a high school baseball pitcher threw three consecutive no-hitters, it was like "Whatever." But when the same kid does it four times in a row ... now you've got my attention....

Druggie NFL Prospects Not Actually On Drugs
Remember all the fuss recently about certain draft prospects who tested positive for drugs at the scouting combine and how it made everyone sad for today's youth? Yeah, none of those guys actually tested positive....

Woman Loses Miss USA Competition By Being Unfairly Forced To Think
I was THIS close to winning my Miss USA office pool this year, but my choice to win it all, Miss California, choked like the Washington Nationals in the bottom of the ninth....

Jay-Z Defends Michael Phelps' Bong-Smoking Habits
"[A]ll these people who graduated from Princeton and Harvard, who are supposed to be pillars of the community, every day [they're] in the newspaper arrested for some kind of financial fraud." [Hip Hop DX]...

Bikini-Clad USC Song Girls Splash Around In Giant Pool For Worthy Cause
Of course it's for the 29th Annual "Swim With Mike" event. Keep that in mind while you ogle. [Busted Coverage]...

Behold The Frankenstein Boston Sports Tattoo
Spring is here, which means that once again the Boston sports tattoos are uncovered in all their glory. Look, here's an insane interesting one....

Lies, Damned Lies, And Swimsuit Issues
Sports Illustrated publishes a fake letter to the editor about their Swimsuit Issue and the world nearly explodes. You know....I think some of those Penthouse Forum stories might be slightly embellished as well. [Cleveland Frowns]...

So About That Dustin Pedroia Story ...
In February, on assignment for Boston Magazine, I sat down with Dustin Pedroia in Fort Myers, Fla., and we spoke for an hour in what may well be the last interesting interview Pedroia ever gives....

Trailblazers, I Am Told, Are Often Misunderstood
Um so…did I mention I am also recovering from a sinus infection? How about a YouTube clip of children using obscene language?...

ESPN Has Found A Replacement For Emmitt Smith...Matt Millen
While ESPN de-bloats, they wouldn't be the WWL unless they also added a big name. The biggest one so far: Matt Millen, Ex-Lions GM/Architect of Destruction, will join their Monday Night Countdown on-site team....