us Page 996 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Houston's Carl Landry Wounded In Shooting
The Houston Rockets forward suffered a "flesh wound" after a minor fender bender turned into a drive-by. The moral, as always, is never leave your house. [Fox; Fourth and Fifty]...
OK, What's With All The Lesbian Gym Teachers Around Here?
The shocking truth: There may be lesbian physical education teachers in San Francisco Bay Area high schools, and they're diddling with students. And according to one law enforcement official, it's technology's fault....
Mascot Mustache Fight Caught On Video
Apparently, some footage survived the Big Blue/Pistol Pete fire fight. The horror ... the horror. [OnlineSportsGuys + ESPN]...
The USC Song Girls Will Take Your Mind Off Those Scary Brackets
Your head is probably spinning right now, but I might have just the thing to bring you down to Earth—Song Girls getting the bejezzus scared out of them....
Mercy Is For The Weak. (The U.S. Is Weak.)
Thank to the Little League mercy rule, the United States was spared nine full innings against a country that we literally own, but cannot beat in baseball. Just wait until Tommy Lasorda hears about this....
The Entrepreneurs, At Least, Didn't Need Overtime
We've enjoyed Syracuse's little run as much as anyone - well, maybe more than Jay Bilas, who seems more in need of a bj than usual - but then along came capitalism to make it faintly annoying....
Actually, It Should Be Changed to "Free Marko"
Newlywed Marko Jaric is the mystery Grizzlies player accused of sexual assault. What, Adriana Lima isn't good enough? [SI]...
After Six Overtimes, Syracuse Sleeps The Sleep Of The Just
At some point during the sixth overtime of the Syracuse-UConn game, my cable box interrupted to inform me that without further action from me it would be going into sleep mode....
We'd Make Fun Of This Gentleman More, But I'm Sure He's Not The Only One Who Wet Himself At MSG Last Night
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Charles Barkley Wants To Punch Rush Limbaugh
In his first interview since being released from prison on Monday, Charles Barkley talked to WIP radio in Philadelphia, where he quickly noted that Rush Limbaugh has a big ass, and needs to be punched....
One Mysterious Memphis Grizzly Accused Of Sexual Assault
You know, if this turns out to be Darko, would a change of blog name be in order? [NBC Philadelphia]...
Maybe Shane Battier Isn't The Antidote To Kobe Bryant
Bryant put up 37 points last night—31 in the second half—while being guarded by two of the better defenders in the league, Shane Battier and Mad Ron Artest. Maybe the shot chart needs updating? [NBA.com]...
Who Says Conference USA Is Not Very Deep?
Everyone says that Memphis plays in a conference where talent doesn't stretch very far, but we did assume that the talent at least stretched farther than Memphis's own bench....
Mickey Rourke Loves Being In Russia
Mickey Rourke, ever in character, at the premiere of The Wrestler in Moscow today. I don't often advocate this, but look what Mickey's doing at crotch level....
Washington Hoops Player Uses Twitter To Get Back At Prankster
The old "get rival player's phone number and call him 25 times in the middle of the night" gag recently spiced up the Washington-Washington State rivalry—especially after the offender forgot about about caller ID....
The Internet Makes Death Come Quicker, And Easier
This is a new semi-weekly column from Leitch. It has words, and pictures. It's called Ten Humans Of The Week. It might or might not work. But here it is....
And Now Some Deleted Scenes From 'Talladega Nights'
Dude, it's not a foul ball … if a tire rolls onto the infield during a NASCAR race, you don't run over there and retrieve it....
Dad Who Hosted Cheerleader Stripping Party Tries To Kill Himself And His Son
As if Steven Russo's previous antics had not convinced everyone that he has serious mental problems, he decided to kick the crazy up a notch by sitting in his closed garage with his car running....
Tony Mandarich Fesses Up; Invented First Whizzinator
Former beefy lineman Tony Mandarich has recently admitted to the world that, yes, the incredibleness of his bulk was actually acquired not just by G'N'R and caffeine, but steroids....
Young Steve Downie's Crazy Head
So here's a story that will interest only a handful of hockey geeks out there, but I'm going to talk about it anyway. It's about consummate shit-stirrer Steve Downie....