us Page 999 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Time For Another Episode Of 'Things You Can't Unsay'
Golf Channel's Andrew Magee suspended for saying: "I just saw a fan wearing a T-shirt that read, 'I got kicked out of the Boy Scouts for eating a brownie.' " [Awful Announcing]...

Would Any Names Shock You At This Point?
Now that A-Rod's been outed as a 2003 steroid user, many are wondering when the other 103 names on that not-so-mysterious list will be revealed. Would any player's name surprise you?...

Announcing The Third Annual Deadspin Midwest Pants Party
On Saturday, May 23, join Deadspin in Chicago for the 3rd-annual Deadspin Midwest Pants Party. It's good to get out of the house a couple times a year; make this one of those times....

Will You Still Respect This Model In The Morning?
Just a friendly reminder that the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue hits newsstands this week. I'm guessing that there won't be any "hockey erotica" involved....

Houston Texans Can't Wait Until Fall To Fail
It seems like that Outside The Lines report about Houston's illegal contact drills should get people at least as riled up as what some baseball player sticks in his butt. But it won't....

ESPN Is Giving Scott Van Pelt Some Quiet Time (UPDATE)
Last week, ESPN's Scott Van Pelt hammered Bud Selig about the MLB Commissioner's $18.5 million salary.A little too much, apparently: SVP was suspended from his radio show on Monday, according to multiple WWL sources....

Was This Man The Worst Draft Pick In The History Of Sports?
Pitcher Matt Bush severely tested San Diego's strict "throw a lacrosse player, go to jail" policy on Wednesday, and as a result, the Padres have cut ties with their former No. 1 overall draft pick....

UPDATE: Subway Banishes Phelps From Its Home Page (Jared Still Available)
The week just keeps getting worse for Michael Phelps. USA Swimming suspended him for three months on Thursday, and now Subway has apparently become the second sponsor to let him go. That's BOGUS, man!...

Lane Kiffin: Urban Meyer Cheats (And Not Very Well) (Update)
If Lane Kiffin wants to revive Tennessee's rivalry with Florida, stealing two committed players on Signing Day and then publicly accusing the Gators of a recruiting violation is a good way to start....

ONE FOOT DOWN
He only had one foot down! One foot! I'll get over this eventually. [The Will Leitch Experience]...

Combustible White Girls Get Tossed From Knicks Game For "Keeping It Real"
We've all been at sporting events where some nearby fans get a little out of control. And at last night's Knicks game, things went absurdly awry for one particular group of female attendees....

The God Save The Fan (Paperback Edition) FAQ
Today, the paperback version of God Save The Fan is released to bookstores. There's some stuff that's different than the last version....

UConn Beats Louisville, Shakes Up The World!
In a tremendous upset that no one saw coming, a college basketball team manages to win a game immediately after becoming the No. 1 ranked team. We're through the looking glass, people. [ESPN]...

Connecticut To Fully Come To Terms With The Concept Of Impermanence
UConn is the new No. 1 ranked team until they lose at Louisville tonight. [Yahoo, photo via]...

Santonio Holmes: From Dong To Bong To Rabbit Slayer MVP
Anyone who thinks that Michael Phelps' career is somehow over because of one little indiscretion, need look no further than the current hero of the moment, Super Bowl MVP Santonio Holmes....

Tonight, We Are All Buzzsaw
All told, I'm not quite as sad as Sad Vader here. This seems like the only way it could have happened....

It's Rafael Nadal... And Everyone Else
Roger Federer is still the best tennis player in the world—provided he isn't playing Rafael Nadal. The Spaniard outlasted him once again to win the Australian Open while you were sleeping in....

Serena Williams Poses For Her Australian Open Glamour Shot
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

God Still Undecided On Who To Root For In Super Bowl
What if some Cardinal or Steeler were to be named Most Valuable Player and say “I’d just like to thank L. Ron Hubbard and the church of Scientology?” [MSNBC]...

The Ludicrousness Of The Buzzsaw Bowl
So, here's a confession: About 11 years ago, I had a dream about Matt Leinart....