v Page 2316 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jarryd Hayne Ruined A Cornerback's Night
Despite a 49ers offseason that featured chaos, abrupt retirements, and the installation of a retired barstool as head coach, there is at least one nice story on the team: Jarryd Hayne. The 27-year-old former rugby league player played well enough in the preseason to merit serious consideration for a...

<i>Kung Fu Hustle </i>Is Goofy, Referential, And Totally Insane
The whole point of the Jim Carrey movie The Mask is the idea of using CGI to combine a pretty standard and amiable zero-to-hero comedy with the antic, absurdist slapstick of Bugs Bunny cartoons. Stephen Chow’s 2004 movie Kung Fu Hustle came a decade after The Mask and from a different side of the wo...

The Mets Have A Matt Harvey Problem
It’s as if some higher power looked at the NL East standings, noticed the Mets’ six-game lead on the Nationals, said, “Things can’t possibly be going this perfectly for the goddamn Mets!” and then put CBS Sports’ Jon Heyman on the phone with Scott Boras and Mets GM Sandy Alderson....

Nuggets Mascot Excels At Taunting Children
Nuggets mascot Rocky took part in some nonsense tonight in Denver that involved him executing a late hit on a child and then taunting him. Mascots, everybody! Fun for the whole family. ...

Deadspin 25: Central Florida Is No. 1 In Our Poll Because You Guys Are Jerks
Welcome to the Deadspin 25, a college football poll that strives to be more democratic and less useless than every other preseason poll. Leading up to the college football season kickoff, we will give you previews of the 25 teams that you, the readers, voted to be most worthy of writing about. Now, ...

Jack Sock Down
American Jack Sock had to retire in the middle of the fourth set against Belgian Ruben Bemelmans at the U.S. Open today. Sock’s legs cramped up, and trainers had to sit him down before he was eventually helped off the court. Bemelmans automatically advanced to the third round, and will play Stan Waw...

Scoundrel Mountain: The Sordid, Untold History Of The Pitching Mound
The modern Baseball pitcher utilizes myriad sleights of hand in his quest to fool and demoralize the slugger. Taunts, curses, incantations. Foreign substances added to the ball, including but not limited to urine and faeces (both human and animal) or reproductive fluids (both human and animal). Divi...

That Anthony Rizzo's Such A Sweet Boy
Gosh, you know who’s a nice kid? That Anthony Rizzo boy. His parents have always been so kind to us. He brought orange slices to the game yesterday, and shared with all his teammates. That’s so thoughtful of him....

Someone Appears To Be Trying To Hoax The Marlins President Out Of His Job
When the Miami Marlins sent Marcell Ozuna to the minors on July 5, there was more in play than just giving the slumping third-year outfielder a chance “to get his rhythm back,” as Ozuna’s agent Scott Boras said he was told. Whether Ozuna becomes eligible for arbitration after this season or next dep...

Wife Of Skins GM Apologizes For Accusing ESPN Reporter Of Trading Blow Jobs For Scoops
Yet again setting a new standard for franchise incompetence, the Washington football team has now been humiliated by Jessica McCloughan, wife of general manager Scot McCloughan, having to apologize for accusing an ESPN reporter of giving blow jobs for access....

Deadspin 25: Ohio State Is Probably Going To Win It All, And That's Fine And Cool
Welcome to the Deadspin 25, a college football poll that strives to be more democratic and less useless than every other preseason poll. Leading up to the college football season kickoff, we will give you previews of the 25 teams that you, the readers, voted to be most worthy of writing about. Now, ...

Check Out This Dad Playing Sports
This video of a dad named Randy playing sports is perfect, so you should watch it....

John Daly Sings "Knockin' on Heaven's Door" Days After Collapsing On Course
Golfer and unique pants enthusiast John Daly suffered a collapsed lung during a tournament Saturday, and had to be hospitalized. The 49-year-old reportedly wasn’t breathing for almost three minutes. And yet, Daly showed up the next day to play while smoking cigarettes, because that’s just what John ...

The Big Ten Is A B1G Waste Of Your Time
Welcome to our college football conference previews, in which we will tell you what you need to know about various conferences, with an emphasis on watchability. First up were the Pac-12, the SEC, the Big 12, and the ACC. Now, the Big Ten....

Summer Movies 2015: <i>Mad Max</i> Rises, Adam Sandler Sinks
For all the talk about how summer movies are supposedly rotting everyone’s souls, this summer produced:...

Why Your Team Sucks 2015: Denver Broncos
Some people are fans of the Denver Broncos. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Denver Broncos. This 2015 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here....

The New Miley Cyrus Record Is Exhausting, But Might Be Worth It Anyway
So what we’ve got here is Miley Cyrus singing a morbid piano ballad called “Pablow the Blowfish.” She’s wearing fluffy unicorn pajamas and playing an electric piano in an ersatz cornfield; additional props include a stuffed unicorn on a stool and an inflatable Super Mario Bros. power-up mushroom. Ve...

Victoria Azarenka Hits Chair Umpire With A Solid High-School Burn
During her U.S. Open match against Lucie Hradecka yesterday, Victoria Azarenka found herself in a disagreement with the chair umpire. She handled herself like a jock seasoned in the art of making band kids feel like lame nerds....

Surprise Military Reunions At NFL Games Reach Peak Bullshit
During last weekend’s preseason St. Louis Rams game, a familiar ritual played out: With a stadium full of fans and a television audience watching, Rams cheerleader Candace Ruocco Valentine was surprised by the arrival of her husband August Valentine, a Marine Corps first lieutenant, who had just ret...

True Beauty Is Vince Wilfork In Nothing But Overalls
Vince Wilfork is great and I love him, which means I don’t even care that this moment from last night’s episode of Hard Knocks was probably cooked up by some HBO producer. Just look at this man!...