v Page 2329 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
MLS Invents New Rule To Help Big-Market Teams
Traversing MLS’s ever-shifting labyrinth of player transaction rules has always been nigh-impossible. And somehow or other, now the league has sprouted yet another alleyway to get lost in. Luckily, no matter how winding the path is, you always wind up in the same place: whatever’s best for the big-c...
A Sure-Why-Not Theory Explains Why The Mavs Might Lose DeAndre Jordan
DeAndre Jordan was all set to become a Dallas Maverick last week, but now he might be staying in Los Angeles after all, and everyone is wondering what the hell happened. Well, good news! We just received an illustrated theory from a tipster that lays out a very compelling case for how the Clippers g...
The DeAndre Jordan Standoff Will Be Won With Emoji
DeAndre Jordan’s having second thoughts about where he wants to sign, so now the Mavericks and Clippers are standing at either side of him, clapping and telling him to walk to them. Dallas thought it had an agreement with Jordan, but now the Clippers are making a desperate second effort. The Maveric...
Report: The Clippers Are Trying To Win Back DeAndre Jordan
Apparently convinced that their offseason wasn’t already embarrassing enough, the Clippers are now trying to convince DeAndre Jordan, who has already agreed to sign with the Mavericks, to go back on his deal with Dallas before it becomes official and stay in L.A. Or so says ESPN’s Marc Stein:...
Vince McMahon’s Rules For WWE Announcers Allegedly Leaked
Over on Squared Circle, the subreddit for professional wrestling, a user has posted eight pages of what purports to be instructions and rules given to WWE announcers a few years ago about everything from how they should dress to specific phrases they should avoid. You can view the notes in the imgur...
The "Smells Like Teen Spirit" Shovel Is The Only Thing That Matters
I spent a good 20 minutes struggling to come up with a headline for this post, not because what happens in this video is hard to describe, but because once you’ve seen the “Smells Like Teen Spirit” Shovel do its thing—once you’ve banged the “play” button for the 32nd time and allowed the shovel’s mi...
Movies About Male Strippers, Ranked
If there’s one thing that makes me sad for heterosexual men, it’s that so many of them haven’t seen Magic Mike. They assumed they’d be in for nonstop tight close-ups of Spandex-packaged junk, exposure to unrealistically chiseled and waxed male bodies, and barely plotted sexploitation aimed at the ga...
De'Andre Johnson's Lawyer: Woman Who Was Punched Used Racial Slur
Florida State dismissed quarterback De’Andre Johnson yesterday after video from a Tallahassee bar showed why he was arrested in June for battery. Johnson’s lawyer Jose Baez is now attempting to do damage control, calling the punch an “experience” and also claiming that the woman used a racial slur t...
Donovan McNabb Issues Baffling Statement About DUI Arrest
Earlier today, we reported that former NFL quarterback and current Fox Sports analyst Donovan McNabb was recently arrested for DUI, his second such arrest in the last two years. On his radio show today, McNabb had this to say about his arrest:...
Video: BYU Football Recruit Shot In Arm Outside School
Police say BYU football recruit Charles West was shot in the arm outside of a Texas middle school Sunday night. Via D Magazine, video of the shooting has surfaced on YouTube, showing West running away as the shooter fires six shots....
Donovan McNabb Arrested For DUI After Traffic Accident
Former NFL quarterback Donovan McNabb was arrested for DUI just before midnight on June 28 after rear-ending another car at a stoplight in Gilbert, Ariz., according to a statement from the Gilbert Police Department....
Ronaldo Shills Bullshit Workout Contraption In Ridiculous Commercial
I’m not saying Cristiano Ronaldo is a cyborg, and if he is he’s probably a benevolent one, but if this wild commercial for some weird, obviously scammy Japanese “exercise gear” isn’t really a behind-the-scenes look at Ronaldo’s morning boot-up process, I’ll buy this stuff and have a six pack in no t...
David Price Says Seattle's Bullpen Mound Is Dangerous
Yesterday was a throw day for David Price, and with the Tigers on the road in Seattle he used the visiting bullpen at Safeco Field. He wasn’t a fan:...
Ronaldo Returns Lost Phone, Treats Owner And Her Friends To A Night Out
Cristiano Ronaldo is famous for his many, many goals and the selfish way he goes about scoring them. However, the forward is apparently more than willing to lend a helping hand to a random stranger in Las Vegas, finding a woman’s phone, returning it to her, and taking her and her friends on a night ...
David West Pays $11 Million To Escape The State Of Indiana
At the start of this year’s NBA free-agency period, 34-year-old power forward David West opted out of the final year of his three-year, $36.6 million contract with the Indiana Pacers. Today, he signed a contract with the San Antonio Spurs that will pay him $1.4 million. While there are other ways to...
U.S. Steeplechase Runner Evan Jager Eats It, Triumphs
On the Fourth of July in Paris, Evan Jager did something perfect. The 26-year-old American lined up for a 3,000-meter steeplechase against nearly all of the best steeplers in the world, and over the first five minutes of the race, he joined Kenyan stud Jairus Birech in running away from the entire f...
Enjoy <i>UFC </i>Glitches, Narrated By Fake Joe Rogan And Mike Goldberg
Even if you’ve never played EA’s UFC, or don’t care about MMA, you can still enjoy these glitches. The impressions of Joe Rogan and Mike Goldberg might not be as funny, but rest assured: they’re still wonderful and accurate....
Let's Explore The Corrupt Town That Inspired <i>True Detective </i>
How are you enjoying #TrueDetectiveSeason2 so far? It’s okay, right? I don’t know, maybe it kind of sucks. Anyway, if you’re like me, you’ve spent a good chunk of the first three episodes being a little confused by the city-corruption storyline. We’ve been told that there are a lot of “deals being d...
Rapper Secretly Uses Apple Store As A Recording Studio
It’s not that hard to fight the man! As long as you live in a city with an easily accessible Apple Store or two. Just ask Prince Harvey, a New York City rapper who recently recorded an entire new album for free on display computers in the SoHo Apple Store. ...
You Didn't Kill Amy Winehouse, But You Didn't Save Her, Either
The cool thing about posthumous tragic-rock-star documentaries is the fresh insight from old friends and still-smitten fans and sheepish surviving accomplices, the raw intimacy of the childhood home movies and illicit backstage footage, the cheesy vintage TV appearances, the nerd arcana, and most of...