v Page 2831 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Coach K Is A Dick
Excerpted from Duke Sucks, Reed Tucker and Andy Bagwell's thorough charge-by-charge frisking of the worst college basketball program known to man, which is out now....

Pat Knight "Threw His Team Under The Bus" And They Apologized To Him For It
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: The Lamar Cardinals have battered woman syndrome....

Say Goodbye To Mumblecore: How The Duplass Brothers Rise Above The Ramble
It's really easy to hate mumblecore. Not the movies—just that name. A collection of like-minded low-budget indie films about 20-somethings (usually white and pasty) trying to find their way in the world, "mumblecore" calls to mind all the weakest tendencies in these movies—specifically, their ineffe...

Tell Me When It's Over: A New Feature
Tomorrow, with the help of our pal Rob Trucks, we're launching a series in which we talk to retired athletes about the moment they knew their playing days were over. We'll start with a batch of conversations with former March Madness heroes, from the '57 North Carolina Tar Heels to the '98 Kentuck...

JaVale McGee Did Another JaVale McGee Thing Last Night
We already showed you JaVale McGee's, um, pass to Jason Kidd from last night. And we still think what happened Monday, when he cherry-picked after trying to catch a pass with his face before giving up, is without equal in McGee's ceaseless catalogue of hilarity, a virtuoso blend of the sort of low...

How To Watch The NCAA Tournament At Work
The play-in games—sorry, "first round"—are halfway done, so tomorrow sees the start of the traditional and comprehensible 64-team bracket that makes up March Madness. And there's nothing more traditional than blowing off productivity to watch the tournament, four games at a time, from the relative c...

Mario Gomez Had A Messi-Like Four Goals In Yesterday's Champions League Match, But Says "I'm No Messi"
Bayern Munich's Mario Gomez snuffed out Swiss side Basel's underdog dreams in the UEFA Champions League with a four-goal performance yesterday (courtesy a lot of help from Franck Ribery). Coming so soon after Lionel Messi's five-goal CL spectacular, comparisons were inevitable. Nonsense, says Gom...

If You Like Supporting Jewish Charities, And You Want To Have Steak With Mo Vaughn, Boy, Do We Have The Auction Item For You
Now, I have no idea what the Russian American Jewish Experience is—and, consider, I'm vaguely descended from Russian Jews—but I do know they have one of the most exquisite experiences ever up for auction right now....

Polish U8 Soccer Match Abandoned After Fans Light Flares, Generally Go Nuts
Poland has a history of fans disrupting youth soccer games, for what we suspect are shits and giggles. Here's another one—undated, with no details, but at one point a fan is shown with the flag of FC Wągrowiec (apparently distinct from third-tier side Nielba Wągrowiec)....

Dirtiest U-12 Soccer Player In The World Discovered In Hong Kong
When an athlete realizes that he's reached the upper limits of his skill, he either accepts it and plays on. Or he learns to play dirty. Like the vicious ginger lad (No. 2) in this video, who was recently spotted in Hong Kong behaving like a human scythe. The boy commits several dirty fouls in the...

Octavio Dotel Could Have Rejoined The Defending Champions, Or Signed With An MLB-Record 13th Team. Guess Which He Chose.
Octavio Dotel is on his 13th different MLB team, and he's not even a crafty lefty. It's a record of longevity and effectiveness, if not irreplaceability, but it's a record nonetheless. Dotel is very aware of his own milestone, and has been for some time—putting it highest on his list of personal goa...

TV Station That Fell For Parody Of Hines Ward Signing With The Ravens Now Says He's "Returning To The Ice"
Pittsburgh's WPXI-TV meant to say Sidney Crosby, just like they never meant to say this....

The Shocking Proof That Tim Tebow and Tebowing Are Cosmically Linked
Tebowing! Remember those days, before the Linsanity smacked us all upside the head? Man, that was a fun time, what with all the kneeling and praying, sometimes near mountains, in utero, or on embarrassing holiday photos....

JaVale McGee Gave Jason Kidd The Easiest Steal Of His Career Tonight
The stat tracking software used by the NBA has standard stock phrases for events in the game. Here's how the official description of this reads in the play-by-play:...

Northwestern's Attempted Halftime Buzzer-Beater Didn't Go In The Basket, But It Did Hit Somebody In The Head
Northwestern's consolation for missing out on the NCAA Tournament was hosting one of tonight's opening NIT games against Akron. While they missed this attempt to score before the halftime buzzer, I'm pretty sure knocking the ESPN camera assistant's hat off is worth a couple hundred tickets at a N...

Of Course Someone Captured Footage Of This Street-Fighting Lesbian Couple
Per YouTuber kingnothing3rd, "My GF and I met this lesbian couple at the club and we were going to go to the next one with them."...

Nike Masters Science Behind Human Cloning, Wastes It On Brazilian Soccer Players
On the one hand, it's nice to see that Nike's Phil Knight, the 47th richest person in the world, has finally found an interesting way to spend his insane amount of cash. But if you were going to clone any group of people, would Brazilian soccer players really be near the top of the list? I can onl...

President Obama Called His Team's Shooting "Terrible," So MVSU's Kevin Burwell Hit A Three In Front Of Him Then Talked Junk
The first half of tonight's opening game of the NCAA tournament featured awful shooting by both teams, and President Obama rightly called out both Western Kentucky and Mississippi Valley State on it during his halftime conversation with Clark Kellogg. While some players might have considered that...

Dolphins Trade Brandon Marshall To Chicago Because Of Peyton Manning
Why would the Dolphins trade their best receiver to the Bears just two years after executing a deal to get him in the first place? Easy: To get Peyton Manning. Or so goes the theory of those who believe Manning had qualms about playing with Brandon Marshall, who is known to be ornery despite his obv...

Is Harvard Now Behaving Like Any Other College Basketball Juggernaut?
Four years ago, Pete Thamel wrote a story in the New York Times about how new Harvard coach Tommy Amaker had landed a potential recruiting class that experts ranked as one of the top 25 in the nation. How'd Harvard do it? Thamel reported that the school was considering players with lower academic st...