v Page 2901 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Kyle Busch Is An Asshole
NASCAR yanked Kyle Busch's keys after his reckless attack under yellow on Ron Hornaday during Friday's Camping World Truck Series race at Texas Motor Speedway....

Come Watch Football With Us Monday Night Before Mike Vick's Nude Prison Photo Scandal Ruins Everything
Or some black guy in a hat who vaguely resembles Mike Vick. Nude Mike Vick or not, it'll still be a splendid night to hang out at our new locale, the Bleecker Street bar, and watch The Dream Team battle the Chicago Bears....

Aussie With World's Largest Collection Of Antoine Walker Memorabilia May Also Have World's Only Collection Of Antoine Walker Memorabilia
Matt Clarke from Australia calls himself the "biggest Walker fan in the world." (He's referring to former NBA/current Idaho Stampede player Antoine Walker, in case you don't share his passion.) We will not attempt to disprove that claim. If anyone else on this galaxy happens to own Walker's Timberwo...

The Trystan Magnuson Era In Toronto Begins, And Other Exciting Hot Stove Developments
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!!!...

Rex Ryan To Appear As Patriots Fan In Adam Sandler Movie Also Starring Vanilla Ice, Susan Sarandon
Rex Ryan will have a cameo in an Adam Sandler movie due out in 2012 called I Hate You, Dad. He'll play a Boston-area lawyer and a passionate Patriots fan, which is funny, because Rex Ryan wants to be the head coach of the Patriots actually hates the Patriots....

Everyone Who Leaves The Red Sox Talks Shit On The Way Out
The 2011 Red Sox are an earth continually salted, a shitpot continually stirred. And every refugee—especially if disgruntled—has a story to tell. Today's storyteller is former strength and conditioning coach Dave Page, who was fired this week....

Jesse Ventura Is Sick Of America, Plans To Become Mexican
Former professional wrestler turned former action movie hero turned former Minnesota governor Jesse Ventura is about to turn Mexican, the AP reports. Ventura is ticked off that he lost a lawsuit against the federal government (of the USA) on Thursday, alleging that airport scans and pat-downs amou...

A Sampling Of Comments ESPN.com Has Not Deleted On Stories That Have Nothing To Do With OccupyTebow
We're all still warm from the glow of the uprising that sent ESPN.com's commenter police into retreat—a remarkable, joyful march that continues unimpeded even as this is being typed. At the same time, we couldn't help but think of those comments ESPN's moderators have allowed to remain attached to ...

Craig James Recommends You Not Watch <em>SportsCenter</em>; Rest Of Nation Recommends You Not Watch Craig James
If ESPN analyst Craig James were a football coach—as opposed to someone who allegedly gets football coaches fired—he'd tell athletes not to watch SportsCenter, because "highlight culture" promotes "reckless handling of the football." ESPN's lead Thursday announcer Rece Davis, who must have done so...

Peyton Hillis Can't Get On The Field, Can't Sweet-Talk The Ladies, And Can't Take A Hint From His Teammates
More news about romantic newlywed and attitudinal Browns halfback Peyton Hillis. His teammates have had just about enough of Hillis's sulky, mopey, screwy behavior. Some have taken to jeering at him. Others have tried to rescue him, according to Michael Silver at Yahoo:...

Tony Reali Does His Best Henry Hill In <i>Around The Horn</i>'s Stellar <i>Goodfellas</i> Tribute
Reali and the ESPN crew pay homage to the famous tracking shot in Goodfellas (which was really just Scorcese fucking with Brian De Palma). It's masterfully done....

Low-Budget Pitbull Imitator Produces Nauseating "Do The Mark Sanchez" Video
There aren't too many lyrics here, other than "do the Mark Sanchez," and "heart of a champion," so it's hard to dispute their words with statistical evidence. (Of note: the call-and-response here is "Who's number one?" "We number one!" But "we" could really be the Jets or the performers.) Mark San...

Eighth Grade Is For Kids: Scouting America's Top-Ranked 15-Year-Old Basketball Stars
It's a Sunday in October, and Baruch College in Gramercy is hosting campus tours. In the basement lobby just off of the main gym, high school students and their parents, sometimes trailing younger siblings, walk through, following a college student who's walking backwards. Should they come to Baruch...

The Stupid Moral Panic Over Mocking Tim Tebow; Or, What Would Jesus Do About Tebowing?
Oh, please. You know why Tebow memes exist? You know why they've, let us say, gone forth and multiplied? Because of columns like this, that's why. Here's the headline:...

Peyton Hillis Can't Get On The Field And He Sure As Hell Can't Sweet-Talk The Ladies
Peyton Hillis on his marriage last week: "I've always been a guy on the down-low about things. I try to get things done that I want to get done. It was something I really wanted to get done." [The Plain Dealer] [H/T Israel M.]...

ShortCenter: LSU-Alabama, Endlessly
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

The Official Who Breaks Up A Hockey Fight Will Sometimes Get Punched In the Face. Twice.
Your morning roundup for Nov. 4, the day we finally had it up to here with hugging. Video of hockey fight via Cosby Sweaters; H/T to Alicia. For an excellent GIF of Cal Clutterbuck's punch, be sure to check out West Coast Digress. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Alex Trebek Suggests Jeopardy Contestant Is Kinky After She Provides This Sexy Wrong Response
Kara Spak is a reporter for Chicago's Sun-Times, but she turned a September Jeopardy! appearance into a side career when she won five straight games and pocketed $85,401. The feat earned her an appearance on tonight's episode of the always-popular "Tournament of Champions," and this answer in the ...

Albert Pujols Spotted At The Airport In St. Louis. But Where Could He Be Going?
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!!!...

The Facial Expression On The World's Fastest Jump Roper Is Gold
[via The Score]...