v Page 3012 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Potentially The Worst Miss In The History Of Ever?
Excuse us for being a bit late with this, but after reading Tim Vickery's always excellent South American football column on the BBC website, we thought we'd take a look at the miss of Ecuador Under-20 player Marlon de Jesus to see if it is as bad as he said....
We Are All Dave McKenna V
Presenting, once again, Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we will be linking daily until Snyder's dumbass lawsuit gets laughed out of court. Today's topics: Baja Fresh, propaganda, and Dan Snyder being a petulant shit....
The Blake Griffin Defense: Break His Neck
If there is one proven way to stop rookie All-Star Blake Griffin from scoring, it is to foul the living shit out of him. Of course, Griffin will often score anyway. But if he doesn't, and if he's not paralyzed after the foul, there is only about a 60 percent chance he'll capitalize on the ensuing ...
How That Absurd Jon Gruden-To-Philly Rumor Got Started
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: blame Kyle Eckel's Facebook page....
The Somewhat Romantic Story Of Mark Sanchez And A 17-Year-Old Girl
This is a story about a famous quarterback's courtship of a 17-year-old girl and the girl's conflicting emotions about fame. No one committed any crimes, as far as we know. It's perfectly legal for the New York Jets' Mark Sanchez to date a 17-year-old girl. He can do it in Manhattan. He can do it at...
A-Rod Gets Upset Over Popcorn Shot In Most A-Rod Way Possible
Believe it or not, Alex Rodriguez reportedly "went ballistic" after finding out that Fox ran this loving moment with girlfriend Cameron Diaz during the Super Bowl. He accused the cameraman of being "out to get them in a paparazzi-like shot," which, according to Bill Zwecker's source, is crazy becaus...
Iowa City Arsonist Witness Looks Remarkably Similar To The GEICO Caveman Guy
Police in Iowa City, Iowa are on the hunt for an arsonist who allegedly burnt down an apartment building a week ago. As a few tipsters have shrewdly pointed out, the prime witness in the investigation, and the possible suspect, bears a striking resemblance to the caveman from those awful GEICO comme...
The Rare Vomit-Inclusive Quadruple-Double
Niagara's Anthony Nelson puked his guts out in the first minute of play, then promptly went out and put up the first triple-double in school history. Oh, and this posterization. [Niagara Gazette]...
Michael Vick Gets Key To Dallas, Shit From Owner Of His Former Pit Bull
Michael Vick had a long week in Dallas. At first, he was maybe hosting a party with a SWAT team and its own trailer that eventually got called off and that he had "no intention of participating" in anyway. Luckily, Vick's personal mentor Tony Dungy canceled the party....
The Cavaliers Make Baby Jesus Cry
So it's come to this. Twenty-five straight games, without even once stumbling into a higher score than their opponent's. That's statistically improbable, even with a depth chart like this....
Human Knees Do Not Bend That Way
Your morning roundup for Feb. 8, the day we were shanked to death by our own cock....
Christina Aguilera Is An Anti-American Slut, According To Pro-American Internet Commenters
"I got so caught up in the moment of the song that I lost my place," Aguilera has explained about last night's blunder. "I can only hope that everyone could feel my love for this country and that the true spirit of its anthem still came through." Sure, fair enough. Now let's check in with Real Ameri...
Cardiff’s Craig Bellamy Scores A Brilliant Goal
See, there is good football being played in the lower divisions. It's not only the Premier League that produces the best games and the best players....
A Comprehensive Guide To That NFL Commercial With All The TV Characters
One of the best ads on last night's broadcast was for the NFL itself, in which they digitally inserted jerseys and logos into TV clips of yore. But the cuts were too quick to fully appreciate. Here's an annotated guide to the fake people inside your television, and their allegiances....
Bob Kraft Still Doesn't Want To Talk About Spygate
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: some folks, like Roger Goodell, just won't let Spygate die....
Guns N' Peas Is Where The Trajectory Of Man Began Its Steady Decline
So the Black Eyed Peas covered "Sweet Child O Mine" at the Super Bowl last night, with Slash helping out on guitar. First of all, FUCK YOU SLASH. You just spent the last bit of goodwill you earned from NOT being Axl. Secondly, the journey to our eventual self-extinction has begun....
Counterpoint: But People Look Really Sad When They Can't Get Their Super Bowl Seats
This young cheesehead cried (video here, H/T reader Patrick) when he, along with 399 others, could not get into last night's Super Bowl. He cries for the others, young and old, left out in the Arlington cold. They will leave Super Bowl XLV with $2,400, tickets to next year's Super Bowl, and nothing...
Point: Those Fans Without Seats Are Being Whiny Babies
About 1250 fans ticketed for temporary seating areas found out before the game that, oops, the seats declared unsafe by the fire marshal. The NFL took good care of them though, to the point where the other 102,000 fans at the game ought to be jealous....
Professional Sports Leagues Spark Twitter Feud Over What Season It Is
Last night, minutes after the Green Bay Packers had won the XLVth Super Bowl, the MLB employed tweeter released a simple tweet into the universe: "Baseball." The NBA employed tweeter did not agree with this sentiment....
We Are All Dave McKenna IV
Here, once again, is Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we will be linking daily until Snyder's dumbass lawsuit gets tossed. Today's topics: vanilla ice cream, literalized metaphors, and Dan Snyder being a petulant shit....