vide Page 207 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Low-Budget Pitbull Imitator Produces Nauseating "Do The Mark Sanchez" Video
There aren't too many lyrics here, other than "do the Mark Sanchez," and "heart of a champion," so it's hard to dispute their words with statistical evidence. (Of note: the call-and-response here is "Who's number one?" "We number one!" But "we" could really be the Jets or the performers.) Mark San...
ShortCenter: LSU-Alabama, Endlessly
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....
Alex Trebek Suggests Jeopardy Contestant Is Kinky After She Provides This Sexy Wrong Response
Kara Spak is a reporter for Chicago's Sun-Times, but she turned a September Jeopardy! appearance into a side career when she won five straight games and pocketed $85,401. The feat earned her an appearance on tonight's episode of the always-popular "Tournament of Champions," and this answer in the ...
The Facial Expression On The World's Fastest Jump Roper Is Gold
[via The Score]...
The Iranian Soccer Players Who "Groped" Each Other After Goals Could Face Public Lashings On The Pitch
On Saturday, Persepolis F.C., a soccer club based in Tehran, scored a goal against Damash Gilan. After the goal, the players gathered to celebrate, as players will do. One of the players, Mohammad Nosrati, sorta stuck his hand in the ass-balls region of one of his teammates, Sheys Rezaei, as playe...
Candy Thief Gets Absolutely Trucked While Running From Cops
Via local news connoisseur Jimmy Traina comes this breaking post-Halloween news out of Phoenix. A group of young men had been stealing candy from grocery stores to the tune of hundreds of dollars, until police pulled them over. One man ran, hiding on the rooftops. Then: pepper spray, a slippery ca...
CNN Cuts Short Its Awkward Interview With John Carlos Because Of Technical Difficulties
Former Olympian and current human rights crusader John Carlos has a new book out with The Nation's Dave Zirin, which we excerpted last week. Carlos has been lending his support to the Occupy Wall Street movement, and this morning, CNN booked him for an interview with Kyra Phillips. The conversatio...
Sports Anchor Wins $2 Million Lottery Live On Air, Can't Help Making "Luongo Is Overpaid" Joke
Global BC sports anchor Barry Deley was actually out shopping when his name came up in a live lotto drawing, winning either a house or $2 million in cash. His unbelieving and slightly jealous colleagues call him with the news, and Deley reacts with typical Canadian poise and dry humor. The fun beg...
ShortCenter: The Things They Say About Quarterbacks
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....
Fox News Interviewed Donald Trump About The Retirement Of "Arizona Cardinals" Manager Tony La Russa
Elsewhere this would be called a chyronfail, but the juxtaposition of Donald Trump explaining his deep friendship with Tony La Russa to Greta Van Susteren makes it worth the video clip. Fox News has a long way to go to earn the "Cable News sports graphic blunder" title, though; that belongs to CNN...
Getting An Answer Out Of Bill Belichick Is Fucking Frustrating
Thrill to the master of stonewalling doing his damndest not to say anything interesting, or really anything at all about Julian Edelman's assault and battery arrest. The Boston papers sent their general reporters and not their sports writers to Belichick's presser so they could ask the tough quest...
Northern Illinois Linebacker Suspended For Sacking Opposing Band Member
When you're on a defense that gives up 60 points in regulation, that's reason enough to be suspended. But NIU linebacker Jamaal Bass earned his suspension the hard way, by knocking over a Toledo band member before the matchup Tuesday night. Huskies coach Dave Doeren announced the suspension this a...
Ho-hum, Cristiano Ronaldo Is Scoring On Stupidly Awesome Free Kicks Again
After Lionel Messi's hat trick Tuesday—his second consecutive match with at least three goals—the world turned to Real Madrid striker Cristiano Ronaldo for a response. He delivered early in RM's Champions League match at Lyon, with a blistering free kick that had the Lyonnais seeking shelter and O...
Beer Down In Calgary!
Lee Stempniak transmitted a check through Alexander Edler and the plexiglass to knock a crisp frosty brew out of the hands of one unlucky fan, who really should have waited for a break in the action to walk back to his front row seats, the entitled jackass. And if you're with that guy behind you, ...
Note To ESPN: There Is A Significant Difference Between An "Elephant Keeper" And An "Elephant Walker"
Tony La Russa is making the post-retirement media tour, and on Monday he stopped by Late Show with David Letterman, during which he revealed a Sacramento-area animal rescue group had offered him a position as elephant keeper....
<i>Of Course</i> Rex Grossman Is Mickey Rourke's Favorite Quarterback
When the world's ballsiest train wreck calls you "a train wreck with balls," you know you're doing something right, Rex. [Nerd Tears]...
Erin Andrews Struggles With Math Concepts
Erin Andrews made a trip to Baton Rouge and toured LSU's football facilities as part of ESPN's "SEC All-Access" series. As you might expect, it's not exactly hard-hitting. In the above clip, we're treated to an especially vapid discussion of how much coffee LSU head coach Les Miles consumes in a d...
There Is No D In Toledo: Here's All 123 Points From Last Night's MAC Matchup In 123 Seconds
The MAC nursed a Halloween hangover and showed up to work dressed in a defense-phobic WAC costume as Northern Illinois beat Toledo last night 63-60, the highest-scoring regulation game in conference history. It was a score more familiar to NBA fans, watching because there were no NBA games on the ...
Watch Three Young Men Throw Punches In A Heated Battle For Sexy-Nurse Girl's Love
In this installment of random fights across America, three shirtless bros wield fists in an effort to win the affections of a near-shirtless "sexy nurse girl" at a Halloween party in Isla Vista, Cal. Granted, there's nothing to indicate that girl was wearing anything resembling a nurse's uni. But ...