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Even Crutches Can't Stop Gabriel Jesus From Getting Jiggy To Song About Himself
Gabriel Jesus is the best young striker Brazil has produced in a startlingly long time. Obviously, this makes him a big deal back home. Brazilian funk artist MC Nego Blue was so impressed by Jesus’s talents that he penned an entire song, “É Gol” (translation: “It’s a Goal”), about the Manchester Cit...

<i>Mike & Mike</i>'s Mike: Mike And Mike Are "Fine"<em></em><em></em>
Is the Mike situation toxic? Not so, if you believe Mike....

The NBA's New Policy On Domestic Violence, Sexual Assault, And Child Abuse Is Here
The NBA’s new policy on accusations of domestic violence, sexual assault, and child abuse—negotiated last year as the league came to an agreement with the players’ union, and formally approved in December—will come into force on July 1. But according to a report from ESPN’s Zach Lowe published last ...

Report: Mikes Don't Like Each Other
Days after Mike Greenberg and Mike Golic, two ESPN employees who happen to share the same first name, officially announced that their radio show Mike & Mike would be ending this year, a new report from Richard Deitsch of Sports Illustrated suggests that there might be more to the Mike situation than...

Son Of One Mike Upset About Mike Situation<em></em>
The big Mike news that we all heard about back in January is finally official: Mike Greenberg and Mike Golic, the hosts of ESPN’s Mike & Mike radio show, are going their separate ways. This is the end of the Mikes....

Meet The New York Giants Fans Who Still Love Their Team, 60 Years After It Left Them Behind
The New York Giants became the San Francisco Giants in 1957, and all that remains of the stadium they used to play in, the Polo Grounds, is an old staircase that once led to the stadium’s entrance. Tucked within a nearby housing development are two plaques, one denoting where home plate used to be, ...

We Made Rick Ankiel Play Jenga With Us
When Rick Ankiel’s long, strange career ended in 2013, he was left with a .240 batting average in almost 2,000 at-bats, a 3.90 ERA over 242 innings, and a place in the record books next to Babe Ruth as the only other player to start a playoff game as the pitcher and hit a home run in the postseason ...

God Help Me, I Don't Like The New <i>Legend Of Zelda</i> Game
Breath of the Wild, the latest installment in Nintendo’s beloved Legend of Zelda series, has received basically universal acclaim since its release back at the beginning of this month. If the still-early reception were to crystallize today, it would go down as one of the most widely and ecstatically...

Verne Lundquist Taking A Basketball Square In The Face, In Extreme Slow Motion
Now that Vin Scully’s retired, Verne Lundquist reigns supreme as the patriarch of sports broadcasting. The CBS legend got a bit more into the game than usual, though, before today’s broadcast of the Notre Dame-WVU game in Buffalo. Ouch!...

Justin Timberlake Is The GOAT
The most talented, and frightening, man in show business....

I Can’t Stop Playing This Shitty iPhone Football Game<em></em>
Football season is over, which means that I am forced to fill the gaping void in my life with booze, drugs, utterly worthless draft speculation, whatever has been gathering dust on the DVR, and (oh God) family interaction. OR DO I? You fellow GAMERS like me out there (I play games on my phone, whic...

Man Creates 80-Foot-Long Whip Apparently Good Only For Hurting Himself
Via Reddit, here is a comically long bullwhip. But thanks to physics, the whipper necessarily becomes the whippee....

We Talked To Marshall Faulk About Retirement, Donnel Pumphrey, And Angry Pats Fans
Marshall Faulk picked in an inopportune time to dredge up his 2002 Super Bowl beef with New England. The Hall of Fame running back and NFL Network Analyst insisted that Tom Brady’s claim as the greatest quarterback ever should come with an asterisk on the same day that Brady and the Pats pulled off ...

Tom Brady And Dwight Freeney Play Video Game On <i>Conan</i>; Marshawn Lynch Steals Show
Takeaways from Conan O’Brien’s lasted edition of the now-annual Super Bowl Clueless Gamer segment: the Patriots are going to beat the Falcons; Tom Brady comes off as empty-headed as you’d imagine; Marshawn Lynch is still the best....

I Spent Two Weeks As A True <i>Overwatch</i> Idiot<em></em>
Overwatch, they say, is about teamwork. They’re correct, but what they don’t tell you (because it should be obvious to anyone with a child’s understanding of how video games work) is that you shoot at your opponents, not your teammates. It would appear that I merely have an overgrown baby’s understa...

<i>FIFA</i> Player Concedes Just The Dumbest Goal
Once I was playing the FIFA 17 demo and I somehow managed to score an own goal while trying to do a goal kick. That self-own pales in comparison to the goalmouth-scrambler conceded by Reddit user redz615 yesterday. Please enjoy the cinematic sendup that this dumb goal truly deserves....

ESPN Tight-Lipped On Mike Situation<em></em>
Big Mike news this morning. Sports Illustrated’s Richard Deitsch is reporting that the Mikes who host ESPN radio’s daily morning show, Mike & Mike, are now just Mike and Mike....

Your Favorite Videos Of 2016
In 2016, Deadspin readers racked up 149 million video views. Here were your ten favorites:...

Newt Gingrich Is In A Dark Place<em></em>
Newt, my boy. My dear, morally bankrupt Newt. What did Mr. Trump do to you? Did he hurt you? You can tell us. You don’t have to do this....