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Deadspin fixes the Falcons: Trade Julio Jones and the No. 4 overall pick
Everyone and their mother is talking about the 49ers’ Kyle Shanahan and the No. 3 overall pick. I’ve done so like six different times now. While their pick is interesting in terms of who they draft, we all know what they’ll draft — a quarterback. Things get very interesting with the next pick, howev...

Mellon Collie and The Minnesota Twins: At this rate a playoff collapse looks unlikely
It’s probably hard enough to be the Minnesota Twins under normal circumstances. Because no one outside of the Twin Cities wants to see you in the playoffs ever again. Some have even drafted measures to get you banned from the postseason forever. That’s what happens when you can’t manage to win a sin...

The NFL has an unhealthy obsession with first-round QBs
The importance of choosing the perfect first-round quarterback is overrated....

When it comes to star athletes and sexual assault, don’t listen to the guys with an agenda
It was 8 years ago now that I wrote about my own sexual assault for a site I had only recently starting reading, called Deadspin. My purpose in writing it wasn’t to gain sympathy, or to “play the victim card” — the go-to insult a certain segment of Twitter pulls out every time a woman shares any kin...

Chris Paul is the MVP this season, don’t be stupid
CP3 should be the MVP this season....

What an actually good, consistent Rockies roster should look like
The timing of it made you wonder what exactly Jeff Bridich was fired for, or encouraged to step down, as it was. Make no mistake, Bridich deserved to be shitcanned for his job, and has for a couple years now. Maybe right after the ink dried on Ian Desmond’s or Wade Davis’ contract. But he was allowe...

Derek Chauvin’s conviction wasn’t progress, and silence from white athletes about Daunte Wright, Adam Toledo, Ma’Kiah Bryant, and Andrew Brown Jr. proves it
Welp, here we go again. Yet another video of the police using a person of color as target practice is devastating a community and Black America. But this time, I want you to pay attention to who you don’t see or hear from, which are white athletes. ...

Dansby Swanson burns sage before Braves game, has himself a night
Yesterday, the Atlanta Braves found themselves somewhere most baseball teams will inevitably find themselves over 162 games — in a funk. They had lost two straight to the Arizona Diamondbacks and hadn’t scored a run since Friday. They needed something, anything, to get rid of the negative energies a...

Mocking the Mock Draft: First-round scenarios sure to piss everyone off
You all have seen more mock drafts than you can count by now. I get it. I promise you, though, you have not and will not see another that resembles this in any way. With the NFL Draft finally, mercifully starting soon, let’s have a little fun and create the most chaotic mock draft we can think of. M...

It was Old-Timers' Night at Madison Square Garden
I could have sworn there would be some sort of sign when the Knicks returned to relevancy. Unpredicted bird migrations, horses running through the streets, green skies, things of that nature. Knicks fans have been waiting...well, most of my adult life for the chance to be as obnoxious as their Yanke...

Kyle Shanahan gets real dark real fast on Jimmy Garoppolo question
Because apparently I can’t avoid discussing the 49ers or the third overall pick or any of its ramifications, I’m here today to bring you the latest bit of commentary surrounding the selection. At a Niners press conference today, head coach Kyle Shanahan and General Manager John Lynch said a lot of w...

Atlanta Cockatoos always find a way to crap on themselves
The Atlanta Parakeets are officially taking calls for a potential Julio Jones trade....
![Fake Chargers draft tweet fools social media [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/hnjirf4plpyv7nkdu2d9.png)
Fake Chargers draft tweet fools social media [UPDATED]
It’s April, and there’s still time to be fooled....

We can’t run from the Penguins and Capitals
This will be the third standings system or alignment the NHL has used in the past decade. But no matter how they shake out the teams or decide how they get into the playoffs, it’s a safe bet that the Pittsburgh Penguins and Washington Capitals will be at the top. Part of that is the NHL basically we...

Warriors announcers blatantly disrespect Steph Curry after rare defensive play
I don’t know if there has ever been a more disrespectful indictment of Steph Curry’s defensive abilities than what happened last night in a game against Sacramento....

It better be a no-hitter or these doubleheaders don’t count either
Let’s just get down to brass tacks, how much for the ape? Whoops, no not that. Sorry. Got confused. The brass tacks we need to get down to is that the seven-inning doubleheader is dumb. Not as dumb as the extra-inning rule, but dumb. The players seem to like it, and why wouldn’t they? But this is go...

Future Jaguar Trevor Lawrence is the next athlete to be paid in crypto
Still think cryptocurrency is just a fad?...

With the addition of Kim Mulkey, LSU’s athletic department has become a soap opera
Beat writers in Baton Rouge deserve raises....

SEE IT! NASCAR's Joey Logano does big flip at Talladega
To paraphrase a line from the great Ricky Bobby — Yup. Joey Logano is flying through the air. This is not good....

LeBron mocks outraged Ohio bar owner’s silly NBA boycott
A bar owner in Cincinnati, Ohio won’t play NBA games until LeBron is “expelled” from the League for his now-deleted Twitter post....