w Page 2856 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Clippers Are Embarrassingly Thirsty For Kawhi Leonard
Kawhi Leonard wasn’t happy to be in San Antonio. Now, he’s not happy to be in Toronto. Regardless of his feelings, he’ll be stuck in Canada for the foreseeable future on a year-long recruiting pitch, all while he’s seemingly got his sights set on his hometown of Los Angeles. As Adrian Wojnarowski an...

The Constantly Stupid Braves Announcing Booth Has Infected Jeff Francoeur
Even in a profession that asks old men to talk about baseball non-stop for four hours a night, the Atlanta Braves’ announcing team stands out for its dedication to infuriating dumbassery. Most often, it’s the duo of Joe Simpson and Chip Caray who do the heavy lifting, running their mouths about suit...

Minor League Baseball Team Wins On A Three-Run Walk-Off Uncaught Third Strike<em></em>
Minor league baseball is nuts, man. The Burlington Bees had already bled two runs to the Wisconsin Timber Rattlers in the bottom of the ninth of Friday’s Class-A game, but they still had two outs and two strikes against batter Nic Pierre with the bases loaded. The Timber Rattlers’ left fielder struc...

The Scenic City Invitational Is Everything Good And Weird About Indie Wrestling
It’s Sunday, and I’m at a semi-dive bar in a strange city. Dylan, my friend of more than 15 years, is lying unconscious in the middle of the room, having just been stomped by a proud redneck who everyone else in the spot had been mocking for having a small penis. Two of our mutual friends jump in to...

Edwin Dí<em></em>az Will Save Every Damn Game If He Has To
After closing three games in three days, Edwin Díaz was supposed to have Sunday off. It didn’t look like the Mariners would need him anyway, as they trailed the Astros heading to the ninth. But Ryon Healy homered to tie the game, and then Mitch Haniger doubled in the go-ahead run in the 10th, and Dí...

WNBA's Dallas Wings Fire Head Coach After Argument With Team President
The Dallas Wings are three games under .500 after losing eight straight. They still have a shot to get the WNBA’s last playoff spot, but they’ll have to reach that goal under a new head coach, because their old one just got canned....

English Teen Lauren Hemp Scores From The Right Flank With Her Right Flank<em></em>
If we were to build a pantheon of world soccer’s most lethal weapons, there are a few iconic appendages we can think of that would be locks to make it in: Lionel Messi’s left foot, Cristiano Ronaldo’s right, Abby Wambach’s head. To those ranks we must now add the right hip/stomach/ribs region of Lau...

Old Man Wayne Rooney Produced One Of The Best MLS Highlights You'll Ever See
D.C. United sent their keeper up for a corner kick with a minute left in stoppage time of a tied game. It backfired, spectacularly. Then it didn’t, spectacularly, and it was all thanks to good ol’ Wayne Rooney. ...

Max Scherzer, Still An Intense Weirdo
Lost in the thrill of rookie David Bote’s spectacular walk-off grand slam was the best pitching duel of perhaps the entire season. New Cubs acquisition Cole Hamels threw seven innings of one-hit, one-run ball, and Max Scherzer, favorite for a third straight Cy Young, did him one better with three h...

Jalen Ramsey Suspended After Throwing Fit Over Reporter Doing His Job
A scuffle broke out at the Jacksonville Jaguars’ practice on Sunday when defensive end Dante Fowler had to be separated from defensive end Yannick Ngakoue. The fight didn’t appear to be anything remarkable as far as training camp fights go, and we know that because Florida Times-Union reporter Phill...

David Bote's Walk-Off Grand Slam Was Exhilarating
When you’re playing baseball as a kid, just messing around with a bat and a ball in the park or your backyard, what are you picturing? Every time, it’s you’re down three, bases loaded, bottom of the ninth, two outs, two strikes....

The Browns Punished Antonio Callaway By Making Him Play Preseason Football
One of the most common punishments in the NFL is the suspension, in which a player who misbehaves or runs afoul of the law isn’t allowed to play in his team’s game. But since we’re in preseason right now—an awful time on the NFL calendar when every player’s goal is simply to avoid a season-ending in...

Tiger Woods Is Back
Tiger Woods didn’t win, which is how I’ll remember this year’s PGA Championship. But he was close, which is what made it to me the most exciting and memorable PGA Championship in a decade. Because I don’t care about golf, don’t find it interesting as a sport. (Complaints can be directed here.) But I...

Brawl Spills Over Into Fan Area At Skins-Jets Joint Practice
The Jets and Skins participated in a joint practice Sunday afternoon at Washington’s Richmond training camp. As happens, things got heated between the two teams, leading to several skirmishes and, finally, a big ol’ footbrawl:...

Jim Tomsula Says To Put Salt In Your Cheap Beer And Change Your Life
Washington defensive line coach and former 49ers head coach Jim Tomsula has some interesting advice for perking up that Pabst Blue Ribbon you’ve foolishly chosen for your beverage. Throw a pinch of salt into that fucker!...

Mike Francesa: Yeah, I Remember Grinding My Feet Into Eddie's Couch
This is unreal....

Man Who Looks Nothing Like Troy Polamalu Infiltrates Steelers Practice In Polamalu Costume
An extremely bold and daring Steelers fan showed up to the team’s Saturday open practice in a Troy Polamalu jersey and helmet, and managed to get onto the field before several Steelers players noticed that Polamalu is a 37-year-old man who hasn’t played football for the Steelers or anyone else in mo...

Maryland Places Head Football Coach D.J. Durkin On Administrative Leave
The University of Maryland has added head coach D.J. Durkin to the list of coaches and trainers on administrative leave, in the wake of reports that the football program was “toxic” in ways that may have contributed to the death of sophomore Jordan McNair this summer....

Steph Curry Succumbs To Steep And Sudden Athletic Decline
Steph Curry participated in the Ellie Mae Classic this week, for the second year in a row. Last year Curry shot 74-74 on Thursday and Friday, and missed the cut by 11 shots. It was by no means a world-class showing, but it was impressive stuff from a professional basketball player....

Asshole Will Muschamp Blames Alarming Maryland Football Report On "Gutless" Former Coaches And Lousy Players
Here is South Carolina head football coach Will Muschamp—a meathead sack of shit—commenting on reports that the Maryland football program run by D.J. Durkin was toxic and subjected players to intimidation, humiliation, and extreme physical exhaustion, factors that may have contributed to the death o...