w Page 2883 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Tunisia Are Fucked
Everyone welcome Tunisia back to the World Cup! They haven’t been here since 2006, and they will go to Russia seeking to win their first Wold Cup match in 40 years. They, uh, probably won’t get it....
South Korea Are Overmatched, But At Least They Have A Superstar
Four years after a disappointing showing in Brazil, South Korea had the great misfortune of being drawn into a very tough group in Russia. The Taegeuk Warriors have enviable top-end talent in Son Heung-min and Ki Sung-yueng, and if they had been drawn into the groups that their fellow Asian qualifie...
Stephen A. Smith Declares His Love For Asses<em></em>
Stephen A. Smith speaks of his adoration for butts in the way a person would speak of an old friend or an enriching life event. On Snoop Dogg’s YouTube show, Smith discusses asses fondly. They have clearly done so much for him....
Lorenzo Cain Saves His Teammate, Breaks The Cubs' Rundown
Early on in the Brewers’ 4-0 win over the Cubs Tuesday, Christian Yelich was on second base and Lorenzo Cain hit a sharp grounder up the middle. Javier Baez was there for a nice backhand play, but Yelich had already taken off for third, maybe figuring the ball was getting through. That required a ru...
The Campaign To Make England Great Again Is Well Underway<em></em>
For years now, there hasn’t been much to do but laugh at England’s performances on the world stage. The so-called Golden Generation won nothing, and the 2014 World Cup team didn’t even make it out of their group. England did manage to make it to the Round of 16 in the 2016 Euros, but ended up gettin...
LeBronWatch: Scottie Pippen Can Neither Confirm Nor Deny That LeBron Is Definitely Going To The Lakers
Welcome back to LeBronWatch, where we are watching LeBron. So far, our observations have provided us with two unassailable truths: LeBron James is absolutely going to sign with the Los Angeles Lakers, and he believes that Houston is a city of puke. Today brings us more insider information, though co...
It Seems Like Draymond Green Truly Dislikes Tristan Thompson
It is not uncommon to see two NBA players who just spent a game or even an entire series scrapping and talking wild shit to each other suddenly shaking hands and hugging once the buzzer goes off. It’s a particular quirk of the NBA, a league in which guys can say truly vile things during the game and...
Spain Shoots Its Own Dick Off In The Name Of Propriety, Fires Manager One Day Before World Cup
The Spanish soccer federation (RFEF) announced today that it has fired its national team manager Julen Lopetegui, on the eve of the World Cup, because Lopetegui did not “act the right way.” The infraction? Lopetegui accepted a job managing Real Madrid, which would have started after the World Cup, w...
The U.S., Canada, And Mexico Will Host The 2026 World Cup
While the rest of the world’s hatred of Donald Trump runs deep, it apparently doesn’t run quite deep enough to deprive the U.S. of hosting the World Cup. After a bit of a scare there for a while, today FIFA voted on who would host the 2026 World Cup and the joint bid by the U.S., Canada, and Mexico ...
Bryce Harper Roughed Up And Bad-Mouthed In Comprehensively Rotten 24 Hours
C.C. Sabathia of the dastardly New York Yankees pegged dear Dinger Lord Bryce Harper in the funny bone in the top of the fifth inning Tuesday, with two men on and the Yankees clinging to a 2-0 lead. Scum! Murder most foul!...
What Do We Think Of This Old Video Of An Umpire Handling An Extremely Pissed Terry Collins?
Noah Syndergaard was ejected from a Dodgers-Mets game way back in late May 2016 after throwing behind Chase Utley in the top of the third inning. It was a 1-0 pitch, and it was 99 miles per hour, and it sailed behind Utley by a good eight inches:...
<i>Hereditary </i>Will Completely Fuck Up Even The Most Seasoned Horror-Movie Watcher
My favorite genre of fiction, in books and stories and movies and probably even television shows, is horror. I love horror. I watch horror movies all the time. I stay up late after my wife goes to bed so that I can watch more horror movies, even though it means that I sleep terribly. My worry with H...
Xherdan Shaqiri Better Do Some Cool Shit Quickly Because Switzerland Won't Be In Russia For Long
Swiss fans don’t have much room for optimism at this World Cup. While the squad Switzerland will take to Russia is perfectly adequate, and though the team had the good fortune of being drawn into a pretty manageable group, the presence of a couple superteams surrounding them greatly limits their lik...
St. Louis Jury Sticks Rams With $12.5 Million Bill For Reggie Bush's "Concrete Ring Of Death" Injury
St. Louis’s Edward Jones Dome—now the Dome at America’s Center—was a piece of crap football stadium for many reasons, just one of which was a wide warning track of concrete that ran around the stands and presented a hazard for be-cleated football players whose actions and momentum occasionally carri...
How Well Did The Belmont Stakes Crowd Know Triple Crown History?
The crowd at the Belmont Stakes was an uneven split between people who were just there to party and horse racing die-hards who make up the entire population of the Park the other 51 weekends of the year. On the morning before Justify won, we talked to representatives from both groups....
The Christian Hackenberg Era In Oakland Is Over After Three Weeks
Three weeks ago, the New York Jets traded former second-round pick Christian Hackenberg to the Raiders after keeping his ass firmly planted on the bench for two entire seasons. Unfortunately, he will not take the field for the Raiders either, as ESPN’s Field Yates reported this afternoon that Oaklan...
Brazil Are The Perfect World Cup Team
If you made a list of everything you’d want from a favorite to win the World Cup, Brazil would tick every box....
Students Are Calling Out Texas A&M For How It Handles Reports Of Sexual Assault
Last week, a Texas A&M student tweeted that she had reported to the university that a member of the swimming and diving team had raped her—and that the swimmer was back with the team. These are what she posted, first on June 7....
Jordan Bell Might Be The Drunkest Golden State Warrior
In the immediate aftermath of Game 4, Warriors rookie Jordan Bell wielded two bottles of celebratory champagne. These were the results:...
Erik Karlsson's Wife Melinda Accuses Teammate's Girlfriend Of Extended Harassment Campaign
Here is an utterly bizarre story from the Ottawa Citizen: Melinda Karlsson, wife of Ottawa Senators defenseman Erik Karlsson, has filed an order of protection against a woman she accuses of harassing her and her husband, including after the death of their stillborn baby. The woman accused is Monika ...