w Page 3638 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Taste Roger Goodell's Wrath With Our NFL Punishment Generator
NFL commissioner Roger Goodell is a ruddy incompetent who draws out decisions on punishing league employees in order to soak up the most positive attention he can. Until now, fans have only been to take part in this experience as third parties. Thanks to the NFL Punishment Generator, though, you too...
Why Your Team Sucks 2015: Atlanta Falcons
Some people are fans of the Atlanta Falcons. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Atlanta Falcons. This 2015 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. ...
How To Get A Cheap Motorcycle And Not Crash It
The problem is, most things are Good in inverse proportion to the degree to which they’re Fun. Broccoli is Good; Bacon is Fun. Taxes are Good; Casinos are Fun. Gyms are Good; Bars are Fun. You get the picture. But assuming, as I do, that all of us must live at least a little, few things are less Goo...
'Skins: A Billion-Kerjillion People Read About Our Stupid Team
Dan Snyder’s football team continues to be the biggest embarrassment in sports. To wit:...
The Nationals Are Kind Of Boning Drew Storen
The Washington Nationals just made a trade that should help fix their biggest weakness—the back end of the bullpen—by bringing in Jonathan Papelbon to be the new closer. Papelbon will take the job from current closer Drew Storen, who will slide into a set-up role and give the Nats a great 1-2 punch ...
The Royals Are Obsessed With "Trap Queen"
The competition for song of the summer was over last winter: it’s Fetty Wap’s “Trap Queen,” and I will brook no dissent on this. It’s also Royals outfielder Lorenzo Cain’s walk-up music, and a refrain from it has infiltrated the Kansas City clubhouse, to the consternation of reporters:...
Report: NFL Would've Halved Suspension If Tom Brady Admitted Guilt
The only thing we know about Ballghazi with any degree of certainty is what will happen next: Roger Goodell’s decision will be challenged in court. The NFLPA has announced its intention to sue—with Tom Brady’s backing—likely in a Minnesota federal court, where Judge David Doty has a history of pro-p...
Drake's New Diss Track Comes With A Great Sports Troll
Drake and Meek Mill are beefing because Meek claimed that Drake doesn’t write his own raps. This morning, Drake released his second diss track aimed at Meek, and it’s pretty good, as diss tracks go, but what I really like about it is the cover art:...
Tom Brady: "I Did Nothing Wrong"
Throughout the—what, six months now? Jesus—of the Ballghazi scandal, Tom Brady has publicly and privately maintained his innocence. Now that his four-game suspension has been upheld, Brady has made his strongest statement yet. He wasn’t involved with deflating footballs, he said, and has been railro...
Jenrry Mejia Popped For Steroids Again, Doesn't Bother With An Excuse
Mets closer Jenrry Mejia was suspended 80 games for testing positive for stanozolol in April. While he didn’t appeal his suspension, Mejia professed his innocence, releasing a statement that said in part “I can honestly say I have no idea how a banned substance ended up in my system.” ...
José Mourinho Is Shitting On Managers Again, Which Means Soccer's Back!
We’ve seen preseason play and preseason brawls, and now that José Mourinho has broken out the ol’ charcoal grill and laid on a couple thick slabs of Arsène Wenger and Manuel Pellegrini tenderloin, the aroma of preseason beef means the Premier League season is just around the corner....
NFLPA Calls Tom Brady's Upheld Suspension "Outrageous," Will Appeal
The NFLPA has released its reaction to Roger Goodell’s decision to uphold Tom Brady’s four-game suspension. The association plans to appeal, and Brady has reportedly given the go-ahead to appeal in federal court....
New York City Parks Worker Confronts Shit, Mortality
The video above—which comes to us from A Walk In The Park—is narrated by NYC parks worker Daniel Roca. When Roca arrived at his job at Sara D. Roosevelt Park yesterday, he found the basement of his building flooded with poop. And then the poop almost killed him....
Can I Get Fired For Dating My Boss's Daughter?
Welcome back to Ask a Lawyer, where I, a lawyer, respond to your questions. Got a vexing legal issue? Send it over, or drop it in the comments below. Today’s query:...
The Lifeless <i>Vacation </i>Reboot Is All Bowels And No Heart
1. The original 1983 National Lampoon’s Vacation is a classic because deep down, it’s essentially a sweet movie. The screenplay was written by John Hughes—based off the short story “Vacation ’58,” which he wrote about a family trip to Disneyworld, and which ultimately got him on the staff of Nationa...
NFL Upholds Tom Brady's Four-Game Suspension
Roger Goodell has upheld Tom Brady’s four-game suspension for his role in the Patriots’ illegal deflation of footballs. New England will be without its QB for the first four games of the season, and the NFLPA will, perhaps, see the NFL in court. (Update, yep! See below.)...
Why Your Team Sucks 2015: Chicago Bears
Some people are fans of the Chicago Bears. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Chicago Bears. This 2015 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....