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The Great Jameis Winston Whitewashing
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re covering egg whites, sex, cats that do dishes, and more....
Preeminent Shaq Critic Kobe Bryant Chastises Media For Criticizing Shaq
Kobe Bryant has been feisty on Twitter lately, first deploying a meme in defense of Russell Westbrook, and now chastising the NBA media for building false narratives: ...
Therapy Is For Everyone, Even You
Contrary to popular belief, everybody could use a little therapy. Even after a decade of watching Don of All Dons Tony Soprano put in his weekly couch time, we downplay the importance of mental health and regard talking about your feelings as a sign of weakness. (It's not.) That said, therapy shoul...
Straight From The Heart
From Whitney Balliett's book American Musicians: Fifty-Six Portraits in Jazz:...
Lawrence Phillips Named A Suspect In The Death Of His Cellmate
The California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation released a statement today naming former Nebraska and St. Louis Rams (and Dolphins and 49ers) running back Lawrence Phillips a suspect in the death of his cellmate at Kern Valley State Prison over the weekend. From the statement:...
Yankees Still Pretending Alex Rodriguez's Milestone Isn't A Milestone
The Yankees’ communications staff, like every team’s, hands out a packet in the press box that features various upcoming records and milestones soon to be reached by players. Here’s tonight’s:...
Bad Russian Wrestler Throws Slapping Fit, Starts Brawl
What you are watching is a brief portion of a freestyle wrestling match that took place at Far Eastern Federal University in Vladivostok, Russia. I don’t know if anything preceded this little scuffle, but I imagine the guy in red was getting worked, because those are the kicks and slaps of a despera...
Why Doesn't ESPN Care That A Fake ESPN President Canceled A Show?
The most influential sports media executive in the world, ESPN president John Skipper, recently had his identity stolen. The imposter used it to sabotage a seven-figure business deal arranged by Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder, one of the richest businessmen in the country. The attendant public...
Russell Westbrook Catches A Too-Little Break, Far Too Late
With just under six minutes remaining in Oklahoma City’s 116-104 loss to the Pacers last night, Russell Westbrook collided with Indiana’s Luis Scola as the latter set a screen for the former’s man, George Hill. Referee Ed Malloy called a personal foul on Westbrook, his third; Westbrook complained, ...
How To Book A Music Festival
Over the past few weeks, your hip friends have been excitedly clogging up your social-media feed with chatter about the bands that will be playing over three days in some remote location you've never even heard of. Meanwhile, the first weekend of Coachella 2015 has ended, and the second weekend is...
How Many Of These MLB Opening Day Starters Can You Name: The Answers
Last week we published photos of 28 players who were in the starting lineup on MLB’s Opening Day and challenged you to name all of them. Since nobody accomplished this—or came even close to doing so—we’ll provide you the answers here....
Whose Disgusting Baseball Chin Is This?
Welcome back to Whose Disgusting Baseball Chin Is This? a semi-regular feature in which we ask readers to identify a baseball player based on a closely cropped image of his disgusting chin. So, whose chin is this? Use the image slider below to find out. ...
Skateboarding Taco Hit By Car
What else do you need to know? Just look at the headline again. ...
Dipshit Mets Fan Throws Beer At Grady Sizemore
Here’s a dipshit Mets fan spending $12 in a futile attempt to disrupt Phillies right fielder Grady Sizemore from fielding a ball in the fourth inning at Citi Field today. Stop wasting beer, dipshit!...
Eduardo Galeano Has Died; Here Are Excerpts From His Classic Soccer Book
Eduardo Galeano, one of the most beloved writers to ever come from Uruguay and Latin America as a whole, has passed away today at the age of 74 after succumbing to cancer. Galeano was famous for writing about politics and history and war and economics. He also brought the same passion and knowledge ...
Latest NFL Draft Fluff: Marcus Mariota Is The No. 1 Pick Now, I Guess
Ask any football writer—the beat guys, not the draftheads—what sort of coverage they hate the most, and they’ll tell you it’s draft speculation. Ask any football writer what sort of coverage gets the most sweet, sweet pageclicks, and they’ll tell you it’s draft speculation. People love this shit, a...
Travis d'Arnaud Needs To Stop Hitting Balls At Andrelton Simmons
Braves shortstop Andrelton Simmons made a ridiculous throw to get Mets catcher Travis d’Arnaud out at first in Friday’s game, which is cool, because Simmons churns out gorgeous defensive highlights like it’s nothing, but what’s even cooler is that Simmons made almost the same exact throw on d’Arnau...
Anderson Silva Petitioning To Compete In Taekwondo At The Olympics
Troll King Anderson Silva is petitioning the Brazilian federation to allow the MMA fighter to compete in his original discipline, taekwondo, at the Rio Olympics in 2016. As the host nation, Brazil will have four guaranteed slots in the event, and Silva will meet with the Brazilian sport chief this ...