w Page 3701 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How To Make Arrabbiata Sauce, The Angriest, Loveliest Sauce Of All
Picture, in your mind, a mundane interaction between any two regular, essentially happy Italian people. One purchasing a packet of chewing gum from the other, for example. Can you picture it? The screaming, the wild gesticulating, the red faces, the flashing whites of crazed eyes and bared teet...
Russell Westbrook Literally Got A Dent In His Face
Russell Westbrook whirling dervished his way to a third straight triple-double last night, the kind of performance we've come to expect in his incredible February. But late in the game, as he tried singlehandedly to stave off a loss to the Trail Blazers, we saw something new: he got a goddamn dent i...
Red Hair Is The Most Contentious Hair
From ginger haters to redhead fetishists, red hair polarizes the populace. It's a high-risk, high-reward volatile substance that rocks the scales of attractiveness. No other hair color can claim as much. So what the hell is going on here?...
Orioles Augment Drills With Fake Crowd Noise; Neighbors Call The Cops
Baltimore Orioles manager Buck Showalter came up with a fun new spring training drill by forcing his players to field pop-ups while piping loud-ass fake crowd noise through the stadium's PA system. Unfortunately, some sensitive baby called the cops on them:...
This Kevin Garnett/Stephon Marbury Ad For <i>ESPN The Mag</i> Was Good
On the occasion of, I don't know, Kevin Garnett returning to Minnesota (okay, not really, it's because reader Chris emailed us to remind us of its existence), watch this 1998 commercial for the launch of ESPN The Magazine, featuring KG and then-Wolves teammate Stephon Marbury....
Oh My God Oh My God I Think Russell Westbrook Could Beat Up My Dad
Last night, while we were all arguing about a black-and-blue dress, Russell Westbrook and a gaggle of tall men who were not Kevin Durant were a half-hour down the road from where the llamas were dodging the cops, playing the Phoenix Suns. If you missed it, or forgot, the Oklahoma City Thunder lost...
Pittsburgh Pirates Want You To Know That They Do Not Support ISIS
Sky News published a photo today of Mohammed Emwazi, the London man believed to be the ISIS executioner known as "Jihadi John," in an old college photo wearing a Pittsburgh Pirates baseball cap. Thankfully, the team made a statement saying that they do not support Emwazi. Phew....
Kendrick Perkins Had A Very Kendrick Perkins Game
LeBron James was amazing, but I would like to draw your attention to another remarkable performance from last night's game between the Cleveland Cavaliers and the Golden State Warriors: That of Kendrick Perkins, a rusty tugboat that washed up onto a basketball court during a hurricane....
Will Smith Is A Blank Slate Now, And <i>Focus </i>Doesn't Help
Most movie stars charm us by creating the illusion that we know them. Tom Cruise's appeal comes in large part from our identification with his intense, full-throttle performances; the Rock, his eyebrow always arched in a self-mocking way, lets us in on the joke that action movies are preposter...
How To Tell If You're Being A Crank On The Internet, And How To Stop
Man, you sure are het up! Agitated. Can you believe these goddamn coddled athletes/P.C. Police/Now Finaglin' Cheatriots/Twitter-celebrated pop stars of possibly dubious talent/people talking about the colors on a dress when we haven't even solved all The Problems yet? I mean, cheese and rice! ...
Kyle Lowry And DeMar DeRozan: We Are Trash
The Toronto Raptors have hit a bit of a rough patch this month, and the team's struggles have a lot to do with backcourt duo Kyle Lowry and DeMar DeRozan playing like trash. Their words, not mine!...
Teuvo!
Alright, so maybe it's unrealistic to expect Blackhawks prospect Teuvo Teravainen to fill the skates and the scoresheets of the injured Patrick Kane. But the heralded 20-year-old, in his return to the big club, scored on his very first shift. And it was nasty....
Vanderbilt Coach Apologizes For Cursing Out His Player
Vanderbilt coach Kevin Stallings issued multiple apologies after he was caught on camera berating one of his players, yelling, among other things, "I'm going to fucking kill you."...
LeBron James And The Scary Cavaliers Put A Beatdown On The Warriors
The Cavaliers played the Warriors tonight in what was billed as a potential Finals preview. If that is indeed what it was, the Cleveland Cavaliers will win the NBA Finals 4-0....
These Cattle Can Move
Yes, yes I will watch more videos of authorities incompetently attempting to wrangle loose animals set to Yakety Sax. ...
Local News Segment On Sledding Leads To Multiple Crashes
Today's edition of "People from the South Learning About the Cold" takes us to Greenville, S.C., where WYFF news sent a reporter into the field to do some sledding. Unfortunately, she failed to adhere to the first rule of sledding, which is to never sled face-first into a dirty-ass block of frozen s...