w Page 3886 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Gronk Wears Shirt Of Julian Edelman Wearing Shirtless-Gronk Shirt
Pats receiver Julian Edelman and Pats protein oaf Rob Gronkowski seem to have been inspired by Macaulay Culkin and Ryan Gosling's T-shirt-off in their own special way....

Nightmare: Human Head Bursts Out Of Abe Lincoln's Chest At Nats Game
This grisly scene is from Monday night's Red-Nationals game. Abe Lincoln was pronounced dead on the scene. The head is still at large, somewhere on the ship....

Mike Pouncey Has A Framed Aaron Hernandez Jersey In His House
I guess if there's one thing this teaches us about Mike Pouncey, it's that you have to have allegedly murdered at least four people before he will decide to remove your framed jersey from his living room. ...

Lasagna Disaster Inspires Incredible Headline
Yes, that is a real front page, from the May 16 edition of the Gaffney Ledger in South Carolina. Note that the headline isn't a quote, but an editorial decision to use "LASAGNA WAS EVERYWHERE" in huge font above the fold. The full story describes the high-octane lasagna accident in necessary detail....

Mike Evans's <em>Jim Rome Show</em> Appearance Was Truly Awful
Brand new Tampa Bay Buccaneers wide receiver Mike Evans appeared on The Jim Rome Show this afternoon, and the experience was painful for everyone involved....

Watch Every Single Three-Pointer Steph Curry Made This Season
He didn't quite keep his record-breaking pace from last season, but watching Steph Curry splash threes for 17 uninterrupted minutes is still a great time....

Retired Stars File Suit Alleging NFL Doped Them Up Like Race Horses
Some very large piles of shit just hit the fan in the world of the NFL today. Eight former NFL players—Richard Dent, Jim McMahon, Jeremy Newberry, Roy Green, J.D. Hill, Keith Van Horne, Ron Stone, and Ron Pritchard—have filed a class-action lawsuit against the NFL. The suit claims that the league su...

Goaltending Is Not The Canadiens' Problem
The difference between an elite goaltender and an outright bad one really isn't that huge. The best goalie in the league is probably going to give you .925, maybe .930 over the course of a season. The worst regular starter is probably going to sit around .900 or .905. That's two or three extra saves...

Connor Barwin Says Nick Foles Has The Biggest Dong On The Eagles
Hey, have you ever found yourself sitting around and wondering things like, "Which player on the Philadelphia Eagles has the biggest unit?" Well, thanks to Eagles linebacker Connor Barwin, it looks like we have an answer to that question....

It's Westbrook And Durant Vs. The World Now
The Spurs, because they are the all-consuming, unrelenting Spurs, did everything they were supposed to in their Game 1 matchup with the Thunder last night. With Serge Ibaka off the floor, they put their heads down and attacked the rim over and over again, scoring 66 points in the paint. They were in...

<em>The Maya Rudolph Show</em> Is Half-Man, Half-Muppet, And All Woman
"Men invented nepotism and practically live by it. It's okay for women to do it, too." All week long, I've been thinking about that quote from Roxane Gay's forthcoming essay collection, Bad Feminist—a prayer-hands-emoji-inducing aphorism that echoed again during last night's premiere of The Maya Rud...

Pantomime Cunnilingus And Blowjob: Braves Fan Covers All The Bases
So, here is a dude on the SportsSouth Braves feed doing the ol' blowjob and cunnilingus routine behind home plate. There's not a whole lot to praise here, but we do appreciate his open-mindedness and willingness to please when it comes to pantomiming oral sex....

Former Tampa Bay Bucs Cheerleader Sues Team For Wage Theft
Former Buccaneers cheerleader Manouchcar Pierre-Val has just made Tampa Bay the fifth NFL team to get served with a lawsuit from its cheerleaders. ...

I'm No Race-Baiting Troll, Explains Race-Baiting Troll Phil Mushnick
A week and a half ago, Phil Mushnick, a race-baiting troll who writes for the New York Post, published a column in which he compared the treatment of Donald Sterling to a lynching. ...

Kid Asks Kanye To Sign His Yeezys; Kanye Tells Him They Are Fake
Tough break, kid, but if you have to choose one way to find out that your Yeezys are fake, hearing it from the mouth of Yeezus himself is probably the best-case scenario....

Tony La Russa Warns Grads About The Machines During Commencement Speech
Tony La Russa gave the commencement speech at Washington University last week. It was, like most commencement speeches, sort of rambly and boring. But there was one La Russian moment that caught our attention, in which the old manager started going on about Styx, the machines, and sabermetrics....

Donté Stallworth Met A Very Sweaty Anthony Weiner
This morning, Donté Stallworth tweeted out a photo of himself posing with a post-workout and rather harried-looking Anthony Weiner. Intrigued, we reached out to Stallworth to see if he and Weiner were workout bros....

The Time Tim Donaghy Punched Out Joey Crawford
The Oregonian's John Canzano published the last of his five-part series on the state of NBA officiating last week, and he saved one of his juiciest anecdotes for last. ...

World Cup "Partakers," Illustrated
The illustrations above and below, by Craig Robinson of FlipFlopFlyin.com, feature notable World Cup "partakers," who made limited waves at the tournament (because, in some cases, they weren't very good). Craig was kind enough to let us post his graphics and brief notes, and you can check out larger...

FSU Softball Players Need To Work On Their Videobombing Game
We admire the effort here—the ballplayer-tied-to-a-roasting-spit videobomb is one that comes with a high degree of difficulty, and these ladies' execution is solid—but a good videobomb is one that enters the frame unexpectedly and unannounced. The magic is lost when everyone at home can see the pre-...