w Page 3959 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Browns Owner Assures Fans Coaching Search Supposed To Take This Long
Early this morning, Browns fans received an email from owner Jimmy Haslam. It's not an apology for Cleveland not having a head coach yet, but it's not quite an explanation either....

What Every NFL Logo Would Look Like If It Were A Hipster
The man who has brought us so much joy by doing ridiculous, hilarious things to the logos of NFL teams has struck again. Today, artist David Rappoccio unveiled his latest collection: each NFL logo re-imagined as a hipster. Smug hipster jaguar is particularly inspired, but there are many more good on...

Comcast SportsNet Airs Our Version Of Cubs Mascot With Cock And Balls
Earlier this week we introduced you to terrifying Cubs mascot Clark The Cub and invited you to do horrible things to him. We started you off with Jim Cooke's full-frontal rendition, which is exactly what Comcast SportsNet Mid-Atlantic aired to viewers across the Washington, D.C. area tonight....

Keyshawn Johnson Has, Uh, Changed
So Justin Bieber's house got raided today, no doubt bringing joy to neighbor Keyshawn Johnson who has beef with the obscure underground death metal singer. The interview you see here, though.. that's not Keyshawn Johnson....

Amar'e Stoudemire Passes Ball To Woman's Drink
Beno Udrih is the closest teammate when Amar'e Stoudemire passes out to the corner, and that's using "closest" generously. The play worked if it was supposed to knock over a woman's drink. No timeout needed!...

Jerry Lawler Attempts To Pronounce Michael Hoomanawanui's Name, Fails
Some New England Patriots players attended last night's WWE Raw broadcast from the Dunkin' Donuts Center in Providence last night. Jerry "The King" Lawler reported that among them was a "Michael Hoomawanyueye." He must be the backup kicker....

The Night Sinatra And DiMaggio Heard Marilyn Was Humping Some Guy
Sixty years ago today, Joe DiMaggio married his girlfriend of two years, Marilyn Monroe. Here, the happy couple are seen leaving San Francisco's City Hall, site of their nuptials. It was a short-lived union: The two divorced in October of the same year....

Dear Humans: Do Not Eat Pizza With Utensils
Hey, homo sapiens! Let us embark upon an expedition of the mind. A mindspedition! ...

<i>Price Is Right</i> Contestant Busts Ankle, Goes To Hospital After Showdown
This lady actually won a spot in the Showcase Showdown despite severely twisting her ankle with the force of her own spin. She's clearly in pain, and needed to get to a hospital, yet decided to stick it out until after the Showcase Showdown (which she lost). ...

Here's Some Audio From Boomer Esiason's Stoned <em>MNF</em> Broadcast
Last week, we learned about the time Boomer Esiason and Matt Millen got contact high while doing a radio broadcast for a Monday Night Football game in December 2000. Yesterday, Boomer shared some of his marijuana-infused commentary from that game on his daily radio show....

America, The Beautiful
Dig these beautiful photographs by William Albert Allard....

Carmelo Anthony Could Really Use A Day Off
We get it, Carmelo. None of us likes having to think about going to work in the morning, and that 29-16 you slapped on the Suns must have required a lot of energy. ...

Sean Payton Fesses Up: Marques Colston's Lateral Was A Designed Play
Marques Colston's very forward pass was one of the odder endings to a football game, and at first glance, one of the dumbest. But the Saints stayed strangely silent on the question of whether Colston was ad-libbing. Now we know: It was a designed play....

Joe Namath Can Understand Why Everyone Hates Tom Brady
According to some poll, Tom Brady is the least-liked quarterback in the NFL. 18 percent of people polled admitted they are miserable and jealous selected Brady as their least favorite quarterback. Joe Namath says it's because both he and his wife are pretty, and Broadway Joe can relate....

Mayor Of Ames, Iowa, Gets Bored Watching Other Mayor Of Ames, Iowa
Iowa State's men's basketball coach, Fred Hoiberg, is often referred to as The Mayor because of his popularity in town. He got some write-in votes for the actual mayoral race in 1993 and it's in his ISU bio and his Twitter handle. It's pretty official as nicknames go. ...


Arbitrator Calls A-Rod's Conduct "Unprecedented"; A-Rod Sues Everyone
Below you can read Alex Rodriguez's full suit against both Major League Baseball and the players' union. Filed in a New York district court today, it seeks to overturn the arbitration panel's ruling that imposed a 162-game suspension, keeping Rodriguez out of baseball for all of the 2014 season....

Cristiano Ronaldo Cries After Winning Ballon D'Or
[Turns out there's a soul inside that chiseled case of muscle and arrogance after all. That or the cyborgs are getting good at feigning human emotion. Photo by Michael Probst/AP]...

