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Bill Belichick No Longer Owns A Park Slope Brownstone; Bill Belichick Owned A Park Slope Browstone
Ah, Park Slope: where diligently hip mothers push extravagant strollers into studiously low-key coffee shops, where you're nobody if you don't get your kale at the most organic of the four farmer's markets on your block, where you retire at 45 after your loosely-defined art collective produces no a...

This Week's Sign Of The Apocalypse
For nearly two decades now, Sports Illustrated has stirred the tea leaves to discern a weekly Sign of the Apocalypse. Deadspin salutes the magazine's ongoing effort to head off the end of times, but declines to quietly cede to SI the scoop on the biggest event in world history....

Brady Hoke Ate My Sign: The Best Signs Behind The College Gameday Crew (Plus Michigan State Fans Calling Lee Corso An Asshole)
Fat jokes are fat jokes are fat jokes, but that is a very well-executed fat joke. Sad that Brady Hoke messed it up by eating part of the sign....
![Only One Person Replied When The Sun Belt's Commissioner Asked For Phone Numbers On Twitter [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/180mahsexbhuvjpg.jpg)
Only One Person Replied When The Sun Belt's Commissioner Asked For Phone Numbers On Twitter [UPDATE]
Well, he only got one reply that actually included a phone number, and we're too scared to call it, so he probably was too. On Wednesday, the Sun Belt announced a one-game suspension for Arkansas State linebacker Qushaun Lee for an illegal hit against Alcorn State during their Saturday game. The le...

Desmond Howard Talked About "Beaver Juice" This Morning On <em>College GameDay</em>
Please do not discuss beaver juice. Anywhere. Desmond Howard elected to do exactly that this morning, and here's what happens. (Also, remix!)...

Warren Sapp Called Brandon Marshall A "Retard," So Marshall Filmed Two Video Responses, Sideways, While Driving
On his radio show last week, Dan Patrick baited Warren Sapp into saying some dumb stuff about "kids these days"—how about Cam Newton celebrating a touchdown when his team is losing?! What a glory boy!—and Sapp took the bait, hook, line and sinker: not only did he incomprehensibly declare, "These kid...

How To Make Chili: A Guide For People Who Aren't Anti-Bean Zealots Or Elitist Scum
It's weird that we fight about chili. ...

Your Week Five College Football Master Schedule
Schedule and broadcasters via and cross-referenced with. If you spot any errors, let us know below. Conferences reflect home teams. Ranked teams bold; rankings from the USA Today Coaches Poll. Times (EST)....

Gordon Gee, Ohio State's "Best Recruiter" Of Uncompensated Student-Athletes, Expensed $64,000 Over Five Years On Bow Ties
On August 1, The Toledo Blade published a story about Gordon Gee, Ohio State's president, and likely the most prominent university president in the country right now. The article says that Gee's enthusiasm for the Buckeyes extends to hands-on football recruiting:...

Ostensible Adult Kevin Garnett Deleted Ray Allen's Phone Number When He Left For The Heat
We already knew Kevin Garnett was passionate—which is to say, basically crazy—and it undoubtedly hurts to see your teammate essentially give up on your team, publicly and in favor of a rival. What happened to Ubuntu? What happened to...(*sniff*)...us?...

Homer Bailey Throws First Reds No-Hitter Since 1988
Homer Bailey threw this season's seventh no-hitter in shutting down the Pittsburgh Pirates tonight 1-0 in what was the first no-no ever thrown at PNC Park....

Deadspin's College Football Top 25 Or So: Not OK
It's time for a new installment of Deadspin's college football rankings. As always, the teams are ranked according to the logic and values of college football, no matter how bizarre or contradictory they may be. ...

The NHL Lockout Negotiations Are Going As Slowly As Possible
You want hockey? You want it back bad? Of course you do. Who doesn't?...

Box-Office Grosses Aren't Sports Scores. Who Cares If <em>Looper</em> Flops This Weekend?
Last year, around this time, I started seeing a ton of ads on Fox NFL games for the movie Drive. I'd seen the movie early and thought it was terrific, but I couldn't help but notice how ill-fitting the promotions for the movie were juxtaposed against Pitbull's Dr. Pepper ads and Terry Bradshaw doing...

Dead Letters: "NO ONE CARES About Your Gay Mouth Munching Of Cookies"
Subject: YOUR NEWS IS SO FAR LEFT LEANING I CAN’T MAKE MYSELF READ IT. BETTER STOP WITH THE KOOLAID...

Jason Babin Is Rational About Rivalries: "I Don’t Use The Word 'Hate' Unless We’re Talking About Terrorists"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: It's just football, people!...

The Scab Who Blew The Seattle Touchdown Call Now Wants To Get Paid For Interviews
You remember Lance Easley, yes? Side judge who signaled "touchdown, Seattle," overruling his colleague and singlehandedly becoming the biggest reason the lockout ended when it did. It's not often someone gets famous for being bad at his job, but if Lance Easley is going to be bad at his job, he migh...


Learn About Grippers, The Affordable Way To Demonstrate Your Unnatural Forearm Strength
The man above is Manfred Hoeberl, a former fixture in the World's Strongest Man competitions they periodically rerun on ESPN2. He was—is?—very, very strong. But he doesn't use your silly, wasteful, boring means to test his strength. Nope. He uses grippers. They're affordable. And certified! Josh Lev...

The Coach Of The Junior Pee Wee Red Cobras Has Been Suspended After Allegations Of A Pop Warner Football Bounty Program
Kids—10- and 11-year-old kids—allegedly getting paid for whatever the Pop Warner equivalent of knockouts and cart-offs are. Yeah. "Kill the head and the body will grow up feeble and addled." The going rate for successfully concussing a tween? Between $20 and $50. Christ, society....