w Page 4582 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Kansas Has Hired Charlie Weis As Its Football Coach
And he's already the biggest thing to happen to Kansas football since Mark Mangino. [Topeka Capital-Journal]...

Kindergarteners Welcome New Jaguars Owner With Heartwarming Song, And One Kid's Wearing A "Make It Blaine On Them Hoes" Shirt
Here's Ms. Goleski's kindergarten class in Neptune Beach with their charming rendition of "Shahid Khan Is Coming To Town." Note the young man in back with this "Make It Blaine On Them Hoes" t-shirt, partially covered up by taped-on construction paper. Strong work, Ms. Goleski. [h/t John]...

Manny Pacquiao's Trainer Thinks He'd Retire After A Mayweather Fight
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Freddie Roach says Pacquiao will have nothing left to prove after getting in the ring with F...

Tim Tebow Is My Seaweed-Wrapped Japanese Rice Ball
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Jerry Sandusky's Wife Issues Statement On "False Accusations," Says She "Continues To Believe" In Husband's Innocence
Jerry Sandusky's wife, Dottie, was implicated in accusations against her husband for the first time yesterday after her husband was re-arrested on additional charges and the second grand jury presentment was made public....

Your Rolando McClain Perp Walk Grin Photoshop Roundup
When we put out the call last week for photoshops of the fantastic perp walk photo of Oakland Raiders linebacker Rolando McClain (above), we knew you'd be up to the challenge; we knew you'd make us laugh like all hell at the sheer absurdity of it all. And you didn't disappoint. In all honesty, I w...

Which Group Of St. Louis Residents Is Bidding Albert Pujols Good Riddance? Classical Music Fans
Cardinals fans are reacting strongly to today's news of his departure for Anaheim, leading to surreal images like guards surrounding the statue of him outside his St. Louis restaurant....

Man Falls In Lobby Pool At Winter Meetings, Makes Bigger Splash Than Yankees
Rolling MLB Network cameras caught one distracted visitor taking a spill into the reflecting pool at the Hilton Anatole in Dallas, where baseball's winter meeting are being held. It's all fun and games until somebody gets sued. [MLB.com, via SBN]...

Kris Humphries's Worst Year Ever Culminates In "KRIS IS GAY!" Tabloid Cover
As the year-end lists filter in this month, remember this: Not many people have had a more humiliating year than NBA free agent Kris Humphries. A year ago, Humphries was known as a mediocre pro basketball player who came off a mediocre bench for the mediocre New Jersey Nets. Now, after a 72-day marr...

The Great NFL Migration Is About To Begin
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Everything That's Wrong With <em>Monday Night Football</em>, In One <em>New Yorker</em> Paragraph
There's a long profile of Jon Gruden in this week's New Yorker, which, frankly, is a little like opening up Guns & Ammo and finding a profile of Noam Chomsky, but there it is nonetheless, a zillion finely wrought words about this guy. Two passages are worth noting....

Cuba, Grenada, El Salvador May Have Thrown Games In The 2011 Gold Cup
FIFA's head of security told SI.com that several games at the 2011 Gold Cup might have been fixed, confirming what a betting-industry insider also told SI: "The games involving Grenada (which lost three matches by a combined 15-1) and Cuba (which was outscored 16-1), the insider said, stood out: "It...

"Honey Badger Does Care": LSU Is Cracking Down On The Proliferation Of Tyrann Mathieu T-Shirts
The school's compliance office has issued cease and desist notifications—with a great headline, by the way—to the makers of several really cool T-shirts, even though the shirts don't mention LSU or Tyrann Mathieu by name. The reason?...

How Much Goddamn Bail Money Does Jerry Sandusky Have?
When Jerry Sandusky was first arrested, a judge with Second Mile connections set Sandusky's bail at $100,000. No problem. Sandusky dropped some coin and walked out of the clink.* Yesterday, he was re-arrested after two additional alleged victims came forward and added their horrifying stories to the...

The Feel-Good Scam Of Owning The Packers
For just the fifth time in their 92-year history, the publicly owned Green Bay Packers launched a stock offering this week, issuing at least 250,000 shares to anyone who wants to count themselves as an owner of an NFL team. It's an irresistible offer for a devoted fan, and within 11 minutes of stock...

ShortCenter: The Winter Meetings Get Their Own Theme Music, With Glockenspiel
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Just In Time For Army-Navy: An Army Assistant Coach Is Accused Of Being A Deadbeat Dad
A woman claims Black Knights defensive tackles coach Clarence Holmes, who is married to someone else, is the father of her 22-month-old son. She says Holmes has provided little in the way of child support and has not added the boy to his health insurance, leaving her stuck without a way to pay for ...

Shane Battier Announces He's Joining The Heat Via Jimmy Buffett Quote
If you were looking for a fresh reason to hate on the Miami Heat this year, Shane Battier's come through for you. The Grizzlies forward announced on Twitter this morning that he's joining the Heat. Somehow, a Jimmy Buffett reference made it into the mix. That alone almost makes this more damning tha...

Report: Albert Pujols To Sign With The Angels
Tim Brown of Yahoo appears to have had it first, as you can see above, but Buster Olney's sources are telling him the same thing. Bob Nightengale of USA Today says it's for 10 years and $250 million. Somebody check on Leitch to make sure he's OK. [Yahoo]...

Drew Brees Loves Dome, ESPN Informs
Your morning roundup for Dec. 8, the day we learned Ryan Seacrest is a hot commodity. Photo via Thomas W. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....