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Brian Cashman The Elf, Ken Rosenthal The Ninja, And Other Rumblings Around The Hot Fucking Stove
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall.) This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!...

Clearing A Low Bar, Matt Moore Says He's Playing The Best Football Of His Career
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: we'd have to agree that yes, this is the best Matt Moore has ever played....

This Is What Happens To Your Face When You Try To Rob An MMA Expert
Anthony Miranda, a 24-year-old from Chicago, allegedly attempted a robbery on the Southwest Side of the city late Friday night. Police say he strolled up to a parked car, asked the driver for a light, and then pulled out a handgun....

Why Erin Andrews Filed Another Suit Against Her Stalker And The Vanderbilt Marriott
On Thursday, Erin Andrews filed a lawsuit in Davidson (Tenn.) County Circuit Court alleging negligence and invasion of privacy on the part of the Nashville Marriott at Vanderbilt, where she claims hotel staff gave Michael David Barrett her room number, allowing him to set up a hidden peephole camera...

Is Winning The Overtime Coin Toss A Blessing Or A Curse?
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Brett Favre's Agent Calls Back, Says Favre Has Not Talked To The Chiefs
Bus Cook let it ring twice and hung up before I had a chance to answer. I called him right back. "It was an accident," he said. "I didn't mean to call you." Not a big deal, I thought. What about the Chiefs? I asked. Would Favre be willing to talk to the Chiefs? I think he thought I meant to ask if ...

What Losing Jose Reyes Really Means For Mets Fans
In eighth grade I wrote a poem about Jose Reyes, the Miami Marlins' new shortstop. The poem wasn't so good. I wrote it in Reyes's gregarious broken English, in which every third utterance is "you know" or "man." But I had to write something quickly for a class, and in April 2005, nothing captivated ...

Brett Favre's Agent Is Not Answering The Phone At The Moment
ESPN told us Favre might talk to the Bears, and I've already asked about the Texans. This time, I wanted to know what Favre would do if the Chiefs called; would he listen to them, too? I left Bus Cook a voicemail. You heard it here first....

Would Brett Favre Answer The Phone If The Texans Called, Too? Brett Favre's Agent Does Not Know
In light of ESPN's exclusive that the Dongslinger "would listen" if the Bears reached out to him—even though they likely won't, according to the same report—I just called Favre's agent, Bus Cook. I asked about the Texans, because why the fuck not? "I don't know what he would do," Cook said. "I don'...

Brett Favre Would Answer The Phone If The Bears Called, According To Lamest Scoop Ever
Brace yourselves. ESPN is all over this one:...

Keith Olbermann Insists Suzy Kolber Was Just As Toxic At ESPN As He Was
Below is an excerpt from Those Guys Have All The Fun: Inside The World of ESPN, which is finally in paperback so those readers anxious for more Bristol back-biting don't have to carry around the cumbersome hardcover. The new version includes more bitchy anecdotes from Bill Simmons, further details a...

At Least We Have Fair Warning That There Are Nude Photos Of Shaun White In The Universe
There are reportedly nude photos of snowboarder-skateboarder-shredder-bro Shaun White out in the universe, America. Set your RSS filters accordingly: TMZ reports that "the ginger carpet matches the ginger drapes." Happy Monday! [TMZ, NY Post]...

Tim Tebow Is Making Me Question My Atheism
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Raise Your Teacups And Your Pinkies: Harvard Basketball Has Entered The AP Top 25
Here's the AP: "Harvard is in The Associated Press' Top 25 for the first time. ... Harvard is the first Ivy League school to be ranked since Princeton cracked the top 10 late in the 1997-98 season." Harvard plays at University of Connecticut (not the school in New Haven, btw) on Thursday. Good luck,...

College Football Would Love It If You'd Waste Your Time Complaining About Bowl Matchups
You say you're shocked—shocked—that the BCS standings aren't consistent, or some voters made dumb choices, or teams were selected for bowl games based on something other than simple merit. Hi! Welcome to college football! You must be new here....

Paterno, Chairman Of Jerry Sandusky's Charity Were Pursuing $125M Real Estate Deal When Sandusky Was Caught Allegedly Sodomizing Boy
One might be tempted to say this thickens the plot, but let's resist temptation and merely state the facts: When Mike McQueary told Joe Paterno in 2002 that he'd seen Jerry Sandusky raping a 10-year-old boy in the shower, Paterno was in business with longtime Second Mile board chairman Robert Poole ...

Securities And Exchange Commission Investigating Marlins' Stadium Deal Because Of Fishy Accounting
We've written before about the deplorable public financing of stadium projects, and so we're excited to see the Miami Marlins' gleaming boondoggle face the SEC's federal scrutiny. Investigators have subpoenaed Marlins financial records and communications between Bud Selig and owner Jeffrey Loria, am...

Idiot Columnist Writes Idiot Column About Ovechkin And Steroids
John Steigerwald—he of the "Bryan Stow deserved to get beaten into a coma" column—is at it again. This time the Washington (Pa.) Observer-Reporter observer/reporter sets his poorly-focused sights on Alexander Ovechkin. Since his numbers have taken a dip, and also a steroid doctor who Ovechkin has ne...

ShortCenter: Aaron Rodgers, Tim Tebow Are Greater Than Jason Garrett
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....
![ESPN's Matthew Barnaby Pulled Over While Driving On Three Tires, Charged With DWI [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18d44lzdm0ug0jpg.jpg)
ESPN's Matthew Barnaby Pulled Over While Driving On Three Tires, Charged With DWI [UPDATE]
ESPN analyst Matthew Barnaby—also known for a pro hockey career and a brief relationship with Bristol coworker Michelle Beadle— was pulled over in Clarence, N.Y. early this morning and charged with a DWI. Barnaby faced five criminal charges in a domestic dispute case just last May....