w Page 4653 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions
Writes tipster Jessica, "I'm sure this is already on your radar because I saw it on Gawker. Seriously, what is that kid holding? It looks like a penis-y double-headed snake. Gross."...

Watch Calvin Johnson Make An Incredible Catch During The Lions Comeback Win Over Dallas
Detroit Lions QB Matthew Stafford didn't have any open receivers. That doesn't matter when you can throw an alley-oop in triple-covered Calvin Johnson's direction....

The Jaguars Grounds Crew Does Not Abide By Traditional NFL Field-Painting Rules
On a traditional NFL field, the arrows next to the big numbers painted every 10 yards point toward the nearest end zone. The Jacksonville Jaguars ground crew does not adhere to those stupid traditions at EverBank Field....

It's Not What You Know, It's Who You Know: Your NFL Late Games Open Thread
Welcome back to the NFL: West Coast Edition! Please contribute to our fun below. ...

Your "Brewers Fans Were Mean To The Guy In The Horse Mask" NLDS (And Yankees/Tigers) Open Thread
When they came for the man (or woman) who silently drank beer through a horse mask at Miller Park, Brewers fans were not silent. In fact, they chanted "asshole" as the furry was ejected....

Let's Watch Ronnie Brown Try To Throw A Pass When He's Stopped On A Goal-Line Rush
The Philadelphia Eagles had a third-and-goal from the 1/3-yard line against San Francisco in the first half of their game today. Ronnie Brown tried to rush up the middle to extend the Eagles's seven-point lead. Ronnie Brown got stopped cold. So Ronnie Brown tried to throw a pass to no one in parti...

Calvin Johnson Tests Positive For Energon Cubes: Your NFL Early Games Open Thread
Welcome to week four. Where men are made. After this week, we'll know for sure whether all these teams who could possibly win the Super Bowl will be in a position to possibly win the Super Bowl. Jump on in and discuss it all below. ...

Watch An Outlaw Motor Sports Event Turn Violent
Judging by the comments on this "Unbelievable Fight in The MUD PIT" video, provided by The Outlaw Motor Sports Video SS, the unbelievable fight in The MUD PIT either started because somebody got mouthy while trying to find the eyeglasses he lost in The MUD PIT or because "that dude's a dumb fuck,...

Júlio Baptista's Overhead-Kick Goal In Injury Time Was A Thing Of Beauty
Malaga moved atop La Liga standings yesterday with a 3-2 victory over Getafe. The winning goal came in penalty time. Big deal for the whole side and for Júlio Baptista, the Brazilian who has played for Real Madrid, Arsenal and Roma....

It's Better To Fall On A Blocked Punt Than Run 25 Yards In The Wrong Direction
The AP account of Cornell's 31-7 win over Wagner points out that, in addition to 3.5 sacks, Zack Imhoff "also had two forced fumbles and blocked a punt for Cornell." Balls-out game. But that doesn't do justice to a punt block that someone in Wagner gear scooped up and ran away from their desired e...

Stanford Overcomes 99-Point Deficit To Beat UCLA By 26
Your morning roundup for Oct. 2, the day we mull parole eligibility for cannibal ladies. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Illinois LB Jonathan Brown Checked If The Coast Was Clear Before Kneeing A Foe In The Balls Today
"During the first half of today's Illinois/Northwestern game, Illinois linebacker Jonathan Brown clearly looks around to see if anyone is watching before kneeing Northwestern offensive lineman Patrick Ward in the groin. Of course, with 65,000 people, eleven opposing players and five refs - one of ...

Drunk Lady Took Golf Cart To CVS To Buy A Scarecrow And Bottle Of Canadian Mist
Some narc motorist in Chesterton, Ind. saw a 57-year-old lady named Jacqueline Hamilton swerving all over the road in a golf cart Wednesday night. He tried to intervene on society's behalf with some real talk, "but she wasn't very polite to him." As such, law was contacted....

Another Ditka Kid Got Charged With DUI
Don't worry, Mark, daddy's too worried about spitting on Pearlman, or reading a book he commented on probably without reading, to pay much attention to this little legal entanglement....

Your ALDS Open Thread
Tampa Bay and Texas start their Game 2 at 7:07 p.m. Rays are up a road game....

Joakim Noah Is Not Afraid To Show Off His Lockout Business Plan
Writes tipster Zach, "It's good to see that Joakim Noah is spending his time during the lockout figuring out some low post moves and not hanging out with Florida coeds...oh, wait..." See what Zach did there? Noah is hanging out with coeds. That's why you're looking at that picture right now, notici...

Your College Football Late Games Open Thread
After appetizers — No. 13 Clemson at No. 11 Virginia Tech (ESPN2, 6 p.m.), Ball State at No. 2 Oklahoma and No. 17 Texas at undefeated Iowa State (FX, 7 p.m.) — along comes the day's grandest contests: No. 3 Alabama visits No. 12 Florida (CBS; photo H/T Getty Images) and No. 8 Nebraska at No. 7 Wis...

Australian Swimmer Tries To Cover Up Skateboarding Injury With False Hit-And-Run Claim, Fails
"Olympic swimmer Kenrick Monk has tearfully admitted to inventing a story about being the victim of a deliberate hit-and-run car incident. In a blow to his chances of representing his country again, Monk, 23, revealed he had broken two bones in his elbow while skateboarding on Wednesday. At the ti...

A Big Arkansas Comeback Called For A Shot Of A Big Arkansas Fan
Arkansas was down 35-17 to Texas A&M at the half. They took a 42-38 lead with 1:41 left. Then, when they stopped the Aggies on a fourth and two, this luscious fan ate it up. Woo Pig Sooie! ...

Here's Slow-Motion Video Of Brewers Girl Looking Down Her Shirt On Live TV
What is it with you tipsters? You slow down TBS footage of a Diamondback approaching the plate, calling it "That Brewers lady behind home plate," describing it as "Slo-mo, 23 seconds. Fun w/boobs" and expecting it to get posted?...