w Page 4700 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Evening: Hope Solo, In A Bathrobe, In A Water Fountain
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 10, the day we wish we had never heard of subway parties. Photo via @hopesolo, who's apparently posing nude for ESPN The Magazine's "Body Issue." Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

I Never Want To Work On A Goddamn TV Show Again: A Week In LA With Norm Macdonald
Last November, Drew Magary and I traveled to Los Angeles to spend a week working on the pilot for what would become the now-canceled Sports Show With Norm Macdonald. You've read his highlights. Now here are mine....

Our Resident Comedian Explains: How Do I Become A Comedy Writer?
Earlier, Drew mentioned the harrowing, unstable process of writing for TV. It is a blast if you get hired. If the show goes to series and you are staffed, you are now making around $200K minimum on a union show. That is more money than my family has made in generations. I would fill up my bathtub an...

Total QB Rating: Everything Great About ESPN Multiplied By Everything Insufferable
It's been fascinating to watch ESPN roll out its new, proprietary Total Quarterback Rating over the past few days, and not just because we got to see Tirico, Gruden, and Jaws huffing and grunting and puzzling over the thing as if it were the first stone tool. ("This new measure of stats," Tirico cal...

Dana Holgorsen Is Now Spamming The WVU Student Body To Find A QB
Geno Smith is more than capable of running the Mountaineer offense, but he's injury-prone and the only alternative is a true freshman. With other QB recruits leaving the program or switching to other positions, West Virginia's depth at quarterback is becoming an urgent matter. Coach Holgorsen does n...

More Foul Ball Benevolence In The NL West
This is in the same vein as the Diamondbacks kid warming all our hearts, but with a twist. On first glance, the boy in the Giants jersey catches a foul ball in the glove, then hands it over to the guy in front of him. But apparently the fellow in red had caught a ball earlier in the game and given...

Showbiz Crack Whores: A Week In LA With Norm Macdonald
Last November, A.J. Daulerio and I traveled to Los Angeles to spend a week working on the pilot for what would become the now-canceled Sports Show with Norm MacDonald. Here now are some quick highlights from that trip....

Noted Chubby Quarterback Makes Widely Derided Prediction
Rex Grossman is the No.1 quarterback on the Redskins' depth chart. I know that means close to absolute zero in the long term, but c'mon: read that first sentence again....

Argentinian Sportswriter Names Twin Daughters "Mara" And "Dona"
Walter Rotundo, an Argentinian sportswriter, celebrated the birth of his twin daughters this week: Mara Delfina and Dona Isabella. They are both lovely names and, taken together, a lovely tribute to a 50-year-old former cocaine addict and alcoholic who once played soccer quite well....

Ron Artest Will Play In The Worst Basketball League In Europe
England could use a little peace right now, and they're getting Metta World Peace. Ron Artest, against the advice of his agent, his sponsors, and anyone who knows anything about basketball, has signed a deal to play for the Cheshire Jets of the British Basketball League....

OK, Who Stole A.J. Burnett's Tricycle?
Your morning roundup for Aug. 10, the day we realized we should probably change our password. Photo via Yahoo!/Getty Images. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Calgary's List Of Most Wanted Fugitives Includes Mr. Dakota Neil Weasel Head
This man is on the loose for failure to comply. This man, according to the Vancouver Sun, is Dakota Neil Weasel Head. He's made Calgary Crime Stoppers' list of the city's top 13 fugitives. (No word on whether Jay Feaster made the list, too)....

Dolphins Linebacker Channing Crowder Retires At 27 To Spend More Time With His Own Crazy Thoughts: A Tribute
Miami released Crowder, its trash-talking linebacker, two weeks ago, and Crowder decided to retire today....

David Ortiz Got His Fucking RBI After All
Remember when David Ortiz barged into Terry Francona's press conference and demanded an RBI that had been stricken from the record books? Well, he's gotten it back, Scoggins be damned:...

Wanted: Boston-Area Roommate For High-Strung Veteran Wide Receiver Who Tweets A Lot
Chad Ochocinco, most recently in love with his quarterback: young, fetching Thomas Brady, needs a roommate in Boston. He wants a big Patriots fan, perhaps a real-life Tommy from Quinzee:...

What's All This About Tim Tebow Needing Hormone Replacement Therapy?
I'm a little confused. I wouldn't have believed Tim Tebow would need hormone replacement therapy — he seems like a healthy young man in the prime of his life. Frankly, I would have been shocked if someone told me Tim Tebow needed hormone replacement therapy. But it's a funny funny world we live in, ...

Five For Fighting: Comics Vs. Hecklers
There are hecklers at almost every comedy show. They are not to be encouraged and never welcome. They are a nuisance. They change the rhythm of the show because they want attention....

Another Golfer Says Steve Williams Violated The Caddie Code
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Paul Azinger knows golf has unwritten rules too....

Shannon Sharpe Looks More Bad-Ass Leaving A Port-A-Potty Than Anyone Else Does
This photo comes from tipster Michael, who says he took it backstage at the Hall of Fame induction ceremony over the weekend. Afterward, Sharpe delivered a great speech....

Get To Know A Comic You Probably Don't Know: Kumail Nanjiani
I moved to America from Pakistan at 18 to attend Grinnell College in Iowa. Came out of Chicago with a bunch of other talented comedians—Hannibal Buress, Jared Logan, and Brooke Van Poppelen. My jokes are usually observational: a lot of them have to do with pop culture, and they always end with a q...