w Page 4714 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tiger Woods Dumps His Longtime Caddie, Magically Solves All His Problems
The guy formerly known as the best golfer on earth announced today — via his website — that he was kicking longtime caddie Stevie Williams to the curb. Hell has to response quote like a Tiger Woods sidekick scorned. To wit:...

Croatian Soccer Team Signs Field-Fornication Fetishist WAG To A Roster Spot
Nives Celsius, the "busty Croat WAG" married to Croatian national-team player Dino Drpic, is expected to appear in NK Slaven Belupo's match against Zagreb FC on Friday. Not even a week after the dramatic climax of the Women's World Cup, this is yet another giant step forward for gender equity in sp...

Buffalo Bills WR Celebrates His Birthday With A Cake That Looks Like His Ladyfriend's Ass
Writes tipster Mark S., "Buffalo Bills WR Stevie Johnson is a strange soul. Blaming god for a dropped ball in November, and now a nice big booty birthday cake."...

Mork "Hunting Bait" Encino's Story Got The Taiwanese-Animation Treatment, Too
Will somebody — anybody — pony up $12,000 so we can find out what it's like to hunt a human being, win, lose or drawl?...

The Graceful, Oversized Legacy of Yao Ming
How long was Yao Ming going to last? That was the question about the seven-foot-six center long before he broke his foot for the first time in the NBA. When Yao joined the league nine summers ago, picked first overall in the 2002 draft by the Houston Rockets, he was the man who would bring the entir...

This Evening: This Guy Looks Like He Has It Figured Out
Your p.m. roundup for July 20, the day you learned you went to a really douchey college. H/T to Mike and Ben for the photo. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Yao Ming's Career Gets The Taiwanese Animation Treatment
In this touching Taiwanese animation tribute, Yao Ming has an 80-inch vertical. He rides rockets. He rides sharks. He retires. It's all very poignant, especially the bit in the beginning where his mother gives birth to a basketball out of which hatches a baby Yao. Does that count against the one-c...

ESPN's Cringing, Persnickety, Condom-Obsessed Standards And Practices Manual, Presented Unabridged
Below you'll find ESPN's editorial and advertising guidelines as of 2010, sent to us by a tipster. They are the sort of guidelines one finds beneath coffee mugs at any typical media company: binder with laminated cover; nice paper stock; a general air of scolding, constipated didacticism that's like...

An Old Video Of A Dumb Ref Letting A Dazed Fighter Nearly Get Killed
A little gruesome, this one. Or a lot. It's a Brazilian vale tudo fight. That means "anything goes." And boy does it go, thanks to this blind fool of a referee. The video comes via Frank Shamrock, who calls it "really sad." Yes....

Justin Abdelkader Would Bomb Michigan's Big House Off The Map If He Could
The Red Wings' Abdelkader, a former Spartan, took a ride with the Blue Angels in an F/A-18 Hornet. "We flew over Ann Arbor, went over the Big House – if we'd had had a couple bombs on it, maybe we would have dropped a couple on there." He's joking, we think. [Detroit Free Press]...

Here's Ndamukong Suh Dancing To Katy Perry's "Hot N Cold"
When we last checked in on Ndamukong Suh, he was eating himself. Now he's tweeting himself dancing to "Hot n Cold." This is his first and likely last Katy-Perry-inspired video, as the lockout looks close to over and he'd have to get a permit to strap fireworks to his chest in Michigan. [Complex]...

If The Raiders and 49ers Share A Stadium, Where Should It Go?
No one saw this coming, but the Raiders and 49ers have been talking about the possibility of rooming together. In preliminary meetings, they have floated the idea of building one fancy new stadium, with both teams sharing it. Considering is not the same as committing, and even farther from actually ...

Vince Wilfork Would Like To Express His Condolences To Robert Kraft, But Can't
Myra Kraft, the wife of the Patriots' owner and a philanthropist in her own right, died early today. We're here to help Vince Wilfork let the Kraft family know he's thinking of them....

Hey, Kids: If You Sulk On TV, The Giants PR Team Will Reward You
In San Francisco, they make sure the kids develop a sense of entitlement at an early age....

Brandon Jennings Was On Time For This Alley-Oop To Himself
Bucks guard Brandon Jennings did his best Kevin Durant impression in a self-assisted, fast-break alley-oop at Baltimore's Melo Center earlier this week. His timing was impeccable....

Circle Me, Innuendo
Your morning roundup for July 20, the day we failed trying to tell Twins play-by-play man Dick Bremer we went to Staples High, too. H/T to Tim for the photo. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Radio Broadcaster Who Looks Freakishly Like Tim Howard Bumps Into Tim Howard
According to Greg Matzek, Milwaukee-area radio personality on 620-WTMJ (an appropriate call sign, given most talk radio folks' penchant for gratuitous gab), he's been told hundreds of times that he looks like Tim Howard. He says he was confused for Tim Howard on the red carpet at the 2007 ESPYs—we b...

Former Phillies Reliever Ricky Bottalico Is Worried About Roy Oswalt's Bulging Dick
Crossing Broad brings us another highlight to add to the already lengthy reel of sports broadcasters talking about bulging dicks....

Lute Olson, Billy Gillispie (And Other College Coaches You Probably Hate) Appear To Have Lost Lots In Ponzi Scheme
College coaches are probably paid too much, especially when you consider how much—nothing—players make. John Calipari just got a deal for $36.5 million. Jim Calhoun resents being asked about why he's the highest-paid state employee of Connecticut....

ESPN Is Going To Think About Considering Making Sure Nothing Like What Didn't Happen To Bruce Feldman Ever Happens Again
"The recent flap over Bruce Feldman's non—suspension..." wrote ESPN's Poynter-approved ombudsperson, Kelly McBride, and already with that one jargony semi-word, "flap," we were in the Klein bottle of journalism about journalism by journalists for nobody. "To date, this is the most complicated ESPN i...