w Page 4772 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cartoon Jason Witten Says Don't Drink And Drive, Do Read <em>Archie</em>
Kids! Don't drive drunk. Also don't drink underage. These are valuable messages, and what better way to get the message across than the two things today's youths love more than anything: Archie Comics and Jason Witten....

We Are All Dave McKenna XLIX
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit has formaldehyde in its veins....

Your Omnipresent Sweet Sixteen Starter Open Thread
Tourney games is comin', yo. UConn/San Diego State at 7:15 p.m. BYU/Florida a dozen minutes later. Arizona/Duke at 9:45 p.m.-ish. Finally, Butler and Wisconsin close out the Sweet Sixteen's first night starting at three minutes before 10 or thereabouts....

Calling All New York City Deadspin Readers: Free Concert Tix For Tonight (UPDATE: Contest over)
The Deadspin office has two tickets to the Cold War Kids concert tonight. I want to get rid of them. So if any of you undesirables don't have plans to watch the NCAAs, are in the city, and can come down to the office in Soho and pick these things up in the next two hours they're yours. Requirement...

We Can Now Laugh At This Canadian TV Reporter Who Spoke Gibberish On Monday
Global Toronto reporter Mark McAllister had a Serene Branson moment on air earlier in the week, as he attempted to report on Canada's involvement in the Libya effort. McAllister is reportedly doing fine after experiencing what the network called "a moment of disorientation," so it is probably safe...

Mike Tyson: "I Didn't Even Deserve A Prostitute With AIDS"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: a characteristically candid Tyson on his low points, and his second and third careers....

Calculating The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air's Usage Rate, And What It Can Tell Us About Ball Hogs
This is Regressing, a numbers-minded column by our clever friends at the Harvard College Sports Analysis Collective. Over the next few days, they'll be applying rigorous statistical analysis to some of the finest basketball movies in the history of cinema (and also Hoosiers). Today we have some b...

Watch The 2010 NFL Season In Six Minutes, Since It's All We Really Have Right Now
NFL Films produced an incredible six-minute cut of the 2010 season that includes Tebow telling his sideline, "Only one person who carries the ball right here!" and then running it into the end zone. It's a great breakup movie. [NFL]...

The Florida Basketball Team Has No Comment On Premarital Sex
A reporter for the Orlando Sentinel attended the Florida Gators' press conference yesterday to ask Billy Donovan and Chandler Parsons about premarital sex, and then he wrote nearly 800 words about how the BYU honor code "lifted college athletics up." Donovan passed on the question — "How hard woul...

NBA Scouts Agree: Jimmer Fredette Is Very, Very White
The best part about yesterday's foreseeable New York Times story on Jimmer Fredette wasn't the obvious notion that Fredette might make for a less-than-dominant NBA player. Far better and more obvious was the list of less-than-dominant NBA players that several front-office types used to assess Fredet...

Small Market Shit Talking? Must Be Almost Time For Baseball
Orioles manager Buck Showalter is interviewed in next month's Men's Journal, because he's a Man's Man. The entire thing's not up yet, but a couple of his more provocative comments were published last night. On the division rival Red Sox:...

Identity Of The Lady Who Bared Her Rump For All To See In The Seventies Is Finally Exposed
Your morning roundup for March 24, the day an 8.5-point underdog taps into its inner Jersey Shore, all Socs-versus-Greasers style....

Many Special People Excitedly Posed For Pictures With Jim Tressel Last Week
Sure, Jim Tressel won't be coaching Ohio State University's first couple of football games in the fall, what with breaking the rules and all. That lil mess didn't stop droves of fans from turning out for an Ohio State Alumni luncheon for the chance to stand in front of the same camera as the coach ...

We Are All Dave McKenna XLVIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit behaves like foot fungus doused with tough actin' Tinactin....

What The Furious Ninth Round Of Gatti-Ward 1 Tells Us About Life
If you like boxing or have even a passing interest in what it means to be human, please go read novelist Sergio De La Pava's wonderful essay "A Day's Sail" in the latest Triple Canopy magazine. De La Pava looks at two of the best rounds in boxing history — the one mentioned in the title of this po...

<em>Around The Horn</em> Takes On The March Madness Selection Process
This is a clip from an Around The Horn episode about a week ago, in which the four journalists du jour took on the March Madness selection process — a topic that seemed to be on everybody's mind. "How much difference between the innies and the outies?" wondered show host Tony Reali. "What do you t...

Update: Oddibe McDowell's Water Bill Is Now $118.01
Via Broward County Water and Wastewater Services....

Qataris Develop Artificial Cloud To Keep Pitch Cool During World Cup
Qatar 2022 will undoubtedly see at least 15 times more pissing and moaning than we had to endure during the South African World Cup last year, but if even half the technology proposed for the games comes to light, it'll remain a fantastic spectacle....

The NFL Wants Less Devin Hester In Your Life
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Hester hates the league's new kickoff rules....

If There's A Lockout, Charlie Batch Could Lose His Super Bowl Rings
Batch declared bankruptcy in December, and his creditors now have the option of seizing the property he used as collateral to secure his debt. That includes "a 2006 Kawasaki personal watercraft, and sports memorabilia and jewelry." Among that, his two Super Bowl rings, as well as his collection of a...