w Page 4790 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Gilbert Arenas Talks About His "Bum" Of A Baby Mama And Dead Pet Sharks
In the wake of getting served with child-support papers at halftime of a Magic/Wizards game, Gilbert Arenas is rather perturbed about his baby mama Laura Govan's approach to public shaming. So says a source in the D.C. media, who was kind enough to share straight-from-the-mouth-of-Arenas thoughts o...

The NHL Doesn't Seem To Think The Islanders Can Control Their Players
Your morning roundup for Feb. 13, a day in which a Supreme Court justice prepares to celebrate five years of playing mum at work....

This Was The Day Snow Dong Evolved Into Snow Tits
Here's the subject line of an email sent by tipster Kadinsky of Milwaukee: "I see your snow dong..." The point comes into focus after the ellipsis: "and raise you a pair of snow tits. with sculpted bush." That's all you had to say, MF....

We Are All Dave McKenna IX
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit chokes to death on vanilla ice cream. Today's topic: Bathroom beer sales....

Here's Video Of Wayne Rooney's Brilliant Goal For Manchester United Today
The English Premier League match between first-place Manchester United and third-place Manchester City was tied at 1 in the 78th minute ... until cheeky boy Wayne Rooney fielded a pass from Nani roughly 10 yards from goal. His upper-corner, overhead-kick game-winner was the stuff of highlight lege...

Here's A College Basketball Open Thread
Yes, Syracuse/Louisville and Kentucky/Vanderbilt are already underway. Good Top 25 matchups, for sure. But Ohio State/Wisconsin and Pittsburgh/Villianova are coming up (2 p.m. and 9 p.m., respectively), and since they're Top 14 matchups, they get open-thread timing priority....

Connecticut Man Ordered To Publicly Apologize To Whale Mascot
Kevin O'Connell got drunk and went to the Connecticut Whale minor-league hockey game on Jan. 28. When he got there, he tackled and punched team mascot Pucky the Whale, who was greeting child fans. In court a few days later, he said he did so because of a bet....

The Cleveland Cavaliers Are On A One-Game Winning Streak
Your morning roundup for Feb. 12, the day Mars-commute impregnating became a non-starter in the name of continuing the colony....

The Week In Review
The Somewhat Romantic Story Of Mark Sanchez And A 17-Year-Old Girl | This is a story about a famous quarterback's courtship of a 17-year-old girl and the girl's conflicting emotions about fame. No one committed any crimes, as far as we know. It's perfectly legal for the New York Jets' Mark Sanchez t...

Chris Paul Verbally Abused A Ref For Not Taking This Flop Seriously Enough
At the end of a close game against the Nets on Wednesday night, noted flopper Chris Paul turned the ball over with 19 seconds to go and the Hornets down by two. In overtime, he missed the potential game-winner and added a spectacular flop for good measure. Finally, he "verbally abused" an official...

The Lawyer Suing The NFL Over Super Bowl Seats Thinks $5 Million Probably Isn't Enough
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: people don't want another Super Bowl trip. They want cash money....

Everyone's Talking About Harry Baals
The Fort Wayne city government is renaming its government center, and its residents have demonstrated an overwhelming preference to honor former mayor Harry Baals (now pronounced bales). This is making for some excellent TV news reports, all compiled above....

Rinku And Dinesh Are Coming To A Crappy Disney Movie Near You
Disney has hired screenwriter Tom McCarthy to write the script for "Million Dollar Arm," the inspiring story of two young Indian men who won a reality show and then got signed by the most miserable team in the major leagues. Rinku Singh and Dinesh Patel requested in 2009 that we not equate their sto...

We Are All Dave McKenna VIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets a proper defenestration. Today's topic: Dan Snyder is a self-defeatingly petulant shit....

Isles Goon Runs Business More Successful Than His Own Team
Zenon Konopka, who leads the NHL in penalty minutes this year, is a grapeseed oil magnate. He makes and sells wine, too. Then, presumably, Sandis Ozolinsh drinks it. [AmEx Open Forum]...

From Bleacher Report To ProFootballTalk: A Brett Favre Non-Rumor Goes National
We've gotten the emails too: "Bret Favre to join Dancing With The Stars?" We ignored them until PFT posted the rumors early this morning. As fascinating as that would be, the tale of how the rumor made it this far is an even better story....

Tiger Woods Is Having A Great Time In Dubai
Your morning roundup for Feb. 11, the day the White House has to play whatever cards they have left…...

Here's An Update On The Harry Baals Saga
Since this time yesterday, Fort Wayne, Indiana's "Name Our Building" forum has been inundated with votes. Roughly 10,000 of them defied city officials who'd forgotten one of democracy's pillars. They chose to support the "Harry Baals Government Center" despite the likelihood that it's all for naug...

Pat Burrell Is The Machine. Fact.
In a post titled "Pat Burrell Says Hello!," BarStool Sports has seemingly put to rest any questions about the identity of Brian Wilson's special gimp-gear-laden pal, affectionately called The Machine....

Dan Snyder Is So Awful People Will Pay For Vanity License Plates To Insult Him
For when a bumper sticker is not enough, the people of The District have found a new venue to publicly display their shared hatred for everyone's favorite petulant shit, Dan Snyder. Does Dave McKenna drive a Jeep?...