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Today In Horrible Quotes
"My father [William] was the first black that played basketball in the Big 10. They took that jersey and his Globetrotter jersey. They also took my son's city championship ring and oxygen tank." — DePaul assistant basketball coach Billy Garrett, upon finding his Chicago home had been cleaned out by...
Gilbert Arenas's Ex Can Appear On "Basketball Wives" In Part Because Obama And Dick Cheney Are Related
Gilbert Arenas did not want his former fiancé Laura Govan to appear on VH1's "Basketball Wives" or mention his name on it. So, he sued....
Here's Video Of Villanova's Basketball Coach Prancing About To A Katy Perry Song
Oh hey, that's Villanova University's head basketball coach Jay Wright letting his colors burst in a flash-mob dance routine set to Katy Perry's "Firework," isn't it?...
Rival Soccer Players Know To Expect That Newcastle United's Joey Barton "Will Come In Your Face"
If your tongue absolutely, positively must slip during a sports interview, why not sound as if you're talking sexually when, in fact, you're talking about a rival's tenacity on the English Premier League pitch? This is what happened to Fulham's Philippe Senderos when asked about Newcastle United's...
If You Have To Get Arrested, Driving While Drinking A Beer And Receiving Oral Sex Isn't A Bad Way To Go
Thanks to The Smoking Gun, we can all meet George Howard, a Kentucky man arrested this morning for some shenanigans involving a 2006 Ford on the outskirts of Louisville. Johnny Law intervened after seeing Howard's ride allegedly collide with a curb....
Big Fan Chad McGhee Wants You Join Him To Watch The Knox City Greyhounds Reach For Football Immortality
Much has changed for Chad McGhee since he was hereby nominated for consideration as the biggest high-school football fan in the history of the game. ...
This Evening: Still Trying To Score Tickets For That Reds-Marlins Doubleheader?
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 24, the day we learned how much to tip whom, and for what. Photo credit @johnfayman, via The Big Lead. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Cam Newton Doesn't Have Any Tattoos Or Piercings, And Jerry Richardson "Wants To Keep It That Way"
Back in April, Panthers owner Jerry Richardson told the Charlotte Observer that he's never wanted a "roster of 53 choirboys" on his football team, which is a very nice and almost renegade sentiment for a 75-year-old millionaire to share. But he also doesn't want a quarterback with tattoos, piercin...
Mexico Rides Strong Pitching To The Top Of Our Unnecessarily Abstruse Little League World Series Power Rankings
Welcome to the second installment of DRURY, our exclusive Little League World Series power ranking and prediction engine. Yesterday's edition was postponed due to the earthquake and lack of interest. The ranking is a composite of the teams' box score statistics and schedule strength—see the original...
The 27 Hottest Employees Of The Venture Capital Firm That's Investing $22 Million In Bleacher Report: A Slideshow
As you know, Oak Investment Partners is lavishing a large sum of money on Bleacher Report. But what is Oak Investment Partners? Who are these people? Why, they're only some of the hottest hotties venturing capital today. Let's have a look....
Chad Ochocinco Says He Will Reimburse The Buccaneers Rookie Who Jacked Him Up And Got Fined $20K
Rookie Buccaneers linebacker Mason Foster may have two first names, but he doesn't have a lot of money. He's a rookie, and a third-round pick, which means $20,000 means more to him than it does to, say, Chad Ochocinco, the Patriots receiver Foster hit in last Thursday's preseason game....
Samir Nasri Will Not Score Until April
City closed the deal with their 40 million dollar man today, and to celebrate, they had EA Sports put together an image of Nasri scoring his first goal, using the upcoming FIFA 12. Nasri appears to have slipped past Vidic and a very out-of-position Rooney, and City fans probably cannot wait for this...
Jerry Jones Denies Storming The Locker Room After One Half Of A Preseason Game
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the Cowboys owner says he didn't get furious until after the entire Chargers game....
Sportswriting's Gonna Be OK, Everybody: Bleacher Report Just Secured $22 Million In Venture Capital
Per Darren Rovell, the funding came from Oak Investment Partners. At Bleacher Report, money DOES grow on trees!...
Readers: Let's Come Up With A Less Awful Trophy For The Winner Of Iowa-Iowa State
Now that the Iowa Corn Growers Association and the Iowa Corn Promotion Board have abandoned their ill-fated agrarian-robot-family-allegory design for the Cy-Hawk Trophy, how will the victors in the annual football showdown between Iowa and Iowa State know they've won? Please help bail out the corn i...
This Is The Bloodied Marine That LSU's Jordan Jefferson Allegedly Kicked In The Face
We were sent this image purporting to be of the good samaritan, returning from Marine Corps training, who rushed to break up a Baton Rouge bar fight and ended up getting pummeled by at least four LSU players. We've been unable to confirm—the cops have instituted a media blackout, to the extent that ...
Samuel Eto'o Will Leave Inter Milan For Obscure Russian Club (And Billions Of Rubles)
Samuel Eto'o, the 30-year-old Cameroonian soccer player, is leaving the glitz and prestige of Serie A's Inter Milan to play "for an obscure club in the violence-wracked Caucasus region of Dagestan, Russia." From Milan, one of the world's fashion capitals, to Dagestan: the land of the mountains. This...
What ESPN Will Be Talking About Today: Special Playmaker Chris Johnson Makes Special Plays, Needs Money
A new feature in which we condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....
It's Bruce Chen's World, And We're All Just Renting Space
How's this for an unlikely sentence fragment? "Chen won four consecutive starts for the first time in his career..."...
Relief: Oddibe McDowell Has Paid His Overdue Water Bill, And This Month's Water Bill Is Only $59.39
Via Broward County Water and Wastewater Services. Earlier coverage of Oddibe McDowell's water bill:...