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Defeated North Koreans Could Be Sent To Work In Coal Mines
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....

Last Night's Winner: The Apotheosis Of Landycakes
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Landon Donovan, who yesterday cried on camera and blew a kiss to his ex and somehow didn't get fagbaited for it, the way he always has....

A Children's Treasury Of Drunk People Screaming About Donovan's Goal
What did we do before YouTube, when those of us stuck in offices couldn't vicariously live through actual celebrations of yesterday's huge goal against Algeria? Here are some of the best....

World Cup Open Thread: Paraguay-New Zealand; Slovakia-Italy
Can the All Whites eke out their first win? Will the Italians join the ignoble list of champions to not advance from the group stages? Follow along at home and comment below....

Australia Says Farewell To The World Cup
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Wimbledon Live Blog Devolves Into Poetry And Madness
Xan Brooks is an editor for The Guardian who was tasked with what would appear to be a pleasant two-week assignment: Live blogging Wimbledon. Then Isner-Mahut happened. Come join him on his descent into hell....

Golden Tate's Donut Crimes Becomes Obvious Ad Opportunity
As (sorta) predicted, Top Pot Doughnuts has turned a NFL's player's sugar addiction—and a fortuitous breaking and entering—into marketing gold. [Photo submitted by Seattle reader Jon.]...

Oh, Did We Forget To Mention Lawrence Taylor Was Indicted For Rape Today?
Hey, it was crazy out there today. Sometimes the grand jury hearings of a Hall of Famer accused of raping an underage prostitute just slip through the cracks....

How Should We Resolve The Isner-Mahut Stalemate?
If there's one thing we learned today, it's this: John Isner and Nicolas Mahut have exactly the same amount of tennis skill. But that still doesn't solve the problem of how to end their ridiculous grudge match....

Happy America Now Officially Insane, Possibly Jingoist About Soccer (For The Time Being)
Most of our country still hasn't come down from the afternoon spazgasm caused by the dainty foot of Landon Donovan, but remember, bandwagoners, there are people out there ready to scold your joy. Like The Nation....

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 23
What a day, what a day. The U.S. advanced, but so did Germany and England. Australia put in a valiant effort and had two highlight-reel goals that will be ignored because of Landon Donovan's stunner....

Today, We Are All Americans High-Fiving Our Moms
Here's the first of what will probably be many U.S. goal reaction videos, and it's a good one. Whoever you are, arkansasjones, you perfectly captured the national mood when you said, "YEAAAHHYEAAAAAHH GOOAAAAALLLGOOAAALLYESSOOOOHYESSS," and then almost tackled your mom. [H/T Señor Montalban]...

Peter Crouch’s Mum And Dad Attacked By Hungry Baboons
Gangly striker Peter Crouch's parents have been left ‘petrified' after a gang of wild baboons broke into their hotel room at the Sun City resort near England's training camp in Rustenburg....

Bleusballed In Paris: Laughing Along At France's Implosion With The Happily Unhappy French
Whether in a Parisian bar or at the local office of the Association of the Friends of the Paris Commune, Deadspin foreign correspondent John Harpham found the French delighting ever so Frenchily in their national team's disgrace....

Algerian Player Slaps Female Reporter After Match
Rafik Saifi, who came on in the 84th minute — just in time to watch the US win the match — took our his frustrations in the media room by smacking an Algerian journalist right across the mouth....

The Longest Tennis Match Ever Is Happening Right Now (Update: Suspended For Darkness)
John Isner and Nicolas Mahut are currently mired in a fifth-set 46-46 tie; the match is in its seventh hour. ESPN2 just cut back to the World Cup. Follow the action at SBNation or the Guardian's liveblog. Or turn on ESPNU....

World Cup Open Thread: Ghana-Germany
Ghana needs a draw the guarantee advancing. Ironically, the safest bet for Germany is to play for a win and let the rest sort itself out. Follow along and say your favorite thing about both country in the comments....

World Cup Open Thread: Australia-Serbia
The Socceroos have their work cut out for them if they want to advance to the knockout stages. If they even want to start going through all the tie-breaker scenarios, they need to win this game. Comment and follow the action below....

Reader Submits Alleged Post-Coital Photo Of Patrick Kane
Email accompanying this photo circulating around Chicago area: "My co-worker's friend hooked up with Patrick Kane last week... and took a picture to prove it. Apparently, he was only so-so in bed."...

LeBron Watch, Day 34: The "LeBron Leaves Cleveland" Doomsday Scenario
In a little more than a week, LeBron James could be a Knick. He could be a Bull. And if he is anything but a Cav, the impact on Cleveland could be staggering. One passionate fan's ultimate nightmare scenario for his hometown....