w Page 4916 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Deadspin Field Guide To Tiki's And Tiger's Barely Legal Liaisons
Two superstars, both caught with (much) younger women. This looks bad, but it's possible for Tiki Barber and Tiger Woods to minimize the damage. We offer some helpful dos and don'ts for everyone on how to conduct their Nabokovian affairs....

Nike Unveils Weird New Tiger Ad, Starring Zombie Earl Woods
Nothing moves athletic apparel like bringing a dead man back to life to talk solemnly about his son's wandering schlong. [YouTube]...

The Biggest Supporters Around
To conclude one of the boobsiest days in Deadspin history, here's this picture of some strategically placed fans/cameramen at last night's Thunder-Jazz and Penguins-Capitals trackmeets. Mutton wins again. H/t Eric and Patrick....

Villanova, Syracuse, And The Case Of The Impregnated Girlfriends (UPDATE)
Since Villanova was unceremoniously bounced from the NCAA tournament on March 21 by St. Mary's, many emails have been fired off by frustrated alumni explaining how this happened to their precious team. The reason? Corey Fisher impregnated Scottie Reynolds's girlfriend, of course....

Today In Girls Sports Hijinks: The Human-Step-Ladder-Dunk Calamity
At the intersection of two great genres, Disastrous Attempts at Dunking and Middle-Schoolers Getting Hurt, lies this dunk mishap. Featuring a back-and-forth not seen in 70 years (or so), this basketball game took a turn toward the hilarious. [emailsfromthecube]...

Shall I Compare Thee To A Tetherball? Analogizing Baylor's Brittney Griner
Brittney Griner is a 6-foot-8 women's basketball player at Baylor who dunks in games. How to describe her? With analogy!...

Sausage Race Nearly Ends In Vehicular Manslaughter
Milwaukee's annual Opening Day Beef Tube Relay Race took a hilarious, nearly tragic turn when the Italian sausage was almost run over by its police escort. When did Randall Simon become a cop? [Last Angry Fan; video via]...

<em>The New Yorker</em> Makes Highbrow Blogger-In-Basement Joke You'll Set Aside But Never Get Around To Reading (UPDATE)
Ben McGrath takes up the slumming-dandy-goes-to-a-ballgame mantle from Roger Angell (who should be filing his account of the 2003 World Series any day now) and manages not only to name-check this humble site but let drop the bonnest of mots:...

This Sandwich Is Coming To Tempt, Kill You All
KFC's Double Down sandwich has become the stuff of gross-fast-food legend. Now, it is going nationwide. Soon (next week), you too will have the chance to use fried chicken in its best application: as bread. [The Consumerist]...

Tiger's New Lady, Raychel Coudriet, In Photos. Maybe.
According to this website, these may be photos of Tiger's latest young lassie to come forward. Also, The Post has fun texts from Tiger to her: "Are you touching yourself? I want to fuck you."...

Tiger Woods Also Made Sweet, Sweet Love To His Winsome 21-Year-Old Neighbor, National Enquirer Says
I assume this wasn't the news Tiger received via SMS yesterday. And now there's a race to see who can find a Facebook photo of young Raychel Coudriet the fastest. We'll update when that happens.[Radaronline]...

Pantless Man-Bird To Lead William and Mary Into Battle
The nation's second-oldest institution of higher learning is named after a hybrid king and queen, so it's only fitting that their new mascot is a hybrid of .. something. Part bird, part lion, all WTF?...

Tiki Barber Pulls A Tom Brady On His Pregnant Wife
Famous people don't just get divorced. They have scandals. Like Tiki Barber who is leaving his wife—who is eight months pregnant (with twins)—for a blonde intern half her age. Now that's a breakup....

Last Night's Winner: Suspense
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like women's basketball fans, who experienced their first moment of uncertainty in two years. It only lasted a few minutes, but it sure was spooky....

Okay, Maybe Chris Bosh Wasn't Flopping
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Michigan Fan Can't Think Of Any Way To Show His Loyalty Other Than His License Plate
A lawyer and Michigan grad is suing the state for revoking his "WLVRNE" license plate (from his 2003 Corvette, by the way), which they say they had already given to someone else. UM's law school must be so proud. [AP]...

Dan Gadzuric Needs Velcro Sneakers
From tonight's game, Dan Gadzuric stops to tie his shoe, forcing the Bucks to play 4-on-5 for a verrrry looong tiiiime. Seriously, he almost runs out the shot clock....

Your UConn Looks Mortal Open Thread
That 77-game streak looks to be in jeopardy, as the Huskies trail Stanford 20-12 at the half. (Yes, they are using a shot clock.) Discuss in the comments, if you are so inclined. [Update: UConn wins. Try not to riot.]...

The Apotheosis Of Jason Heyward
This is Jason Heyward. He is 6'9", and 385 pounds of pure muscle. His middle name is "Adenolith." Shards of his bat can cure cancer. And he will save baseball. Definitely one, maybe two of these things are actually true....

Tiger Ingratiates Himself One First Name At A Time
Tiger's working really hard to get back into the public's good graces. Kicking off his comeback with that softball interview and a trip to the media-light Masters tournament were great ideas. Though everyone wants to bother him, no one will....