w Page 4918 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We Are All Dave McKenna XCVII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is slipped the cyanide pill....
Worst Golf Swings: "Not Shaq's Next Career" Edition
This might be the end of the line for Shaquille O'Neal's NBA career (related: remember when he could do this?), but I'm sure he'll pop up here and there on TV in various law enforcement raids or celebrity golf tournaments. If you come across the latter, stick with it....
Viking Maul Ball On The Orkney Islands
Occasionally, we'll select stories - old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime - that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: An examination of "The Ba'," a primal form of mass rugby and a male rite of passage that erupts every Christmas in Kirkwall, a town on the ...
Dwight Howard Went To Disney World Anyway
The Magic were upset by Atlanta in the first round, but Dwight Howard, the broadest-shouldered 13-year-old trapped in a 25-year-old's body on planet earth, would not let it ruin his trip to Disney World last weekend. Until, at least, a few days later, when he found the time to call out the Orlando S...
The Bizarre Cult Of Pro-Owner NFL Fanboys
Here's a tidy summation of how we've managed to get to where we are with the NFL lockout. A few years ago, the players and owners agreed to a new CBA, with only Ralph Wilson and Mike Brown voting against the agreement, in Wilson's case because he's old and easily confused by things....
Watch Super Middleweight Arthur Abraham Hit People Terrifyingly Hard
So there's this super middleweight title fight on Saturday between Andre Ward (23-0) and Arthur Abraham (32-2) at the Home Depot Center in Carson, California. The bout is part of a Showtime tournament called the Super Six World Boxing Classic, which is supposed to unify the WBC and WBA titles. War...
The NBA Playoffs Are Less Important Than Hockey, Oprah
One of the underrated subplots of the playoffs is when non-sports events get scheduled for our nation's arenas, and the conflicts it causes when a team goes deep. We've had two notable instances of it already, with the Lightning and Bulls running up against two of the most powerful forces in enterta...
How Bartolo Colon's Fat Ass Resurrected His Career
A Dominican medical team designed a rejuvenation treatment, in which they'd inject stem cells into the pitching arm, for Pedro Martinez. He turned them down. Bartolo Colon didn't....
Here's Video Of LeBron James And Delonte West Sharing A Brief But Loving Embrace Last Night
Your morning roundup for May 12, the day old coot Yogi Berra will come up with something witty to say about turning 82, even though he's only 81....
Here's Video Of A Scottish Soccer Fan Attacking A Scottish Soccer Manager Earlier Today
With a 3-0 win over Heart of Midlothian (aka Hearts) at Tynecastle Stadium in Edinburgh, Scotland, Celtic moved to within one point of Rangers for the Scottish Premier League title. But, here's the real story:...
Why I Hate My Giant Dong
I've got a big penis. This is my tale of woe. [Jezebel]...
Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part II: "... His Tongue Raging Against His Boss's"
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit hears the bell tolling. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All Dave McKenna XCVI.")...
Shawn Kemp Refuses Courtside Seats To Oklahoma City Game; Remains Seattle's Hero
Shawn Kemp has been retired from professional basketball for about eight years now, but after eight seasons with the SuperSonics, he still lives in the Seattle area and makes time for a weekly appearance on local sports radio with the "Ian Furness Show" on KJR. In yesterday's show, Kemp shared tha...
Rockies Grounds Crew Member Trapped Under Tarp, No One Notices
Last night, just three weeks after the Royals grounds crew nearly lost one to the tarp, the rain delay at the Mets-Rockies game carved a new swathe of destruction at Coors Field. There were no men lost; only a hero made....
Everything You Wanted To Know About Porn, Weed, And Toilets In Afghanistan, Courtesy A Platoon Leader
That photo of an anonymous U.S. soldier standing in front of a whole shitload of weed was taken by a platoon leader in Afghanistan with the Gawker handle Lono. He emailed me recently to clarify a number of things about fighting overseas, namely the quality of local porn, the abundance of local weed,...
BCS Will Continue To Be For All The Tostitos
The Fiesta Bowl pays a $1 million fine for these shenanigans, but gets to stay in the BCS. Of course they do. Or perhaps Bill Hancock needed a scapegoat around for the BCS antitrust suit....
Bernard Hopkins Promotes Upcoming Fight By Calling Donovan McNabb A House Negro
Not long ago, HBO aired a promo for Bernard Hopkins vs. Jean Pascal in which the brassy tongued Hopkins verbally mauled his Haitian opponent. Unfortunately, HBO wasn't present when Hopkins lost his mind yesterday and voiced some astounding opinions about Donovan McNabb. Good thing Hopkins voiced the...
Robert "Tractor" Traylor, Greatest 300-Pound Dunker Of Our Time, Is Dead At 34
Robert "Tractor" Traylor, former high school All-American, University of Michigan star, and NBA player, was reportedly found dead in his apartment in Isla Verde, Puerto Rico today. His current team, Vaqueros de Bayamon, posted the news on their Facebook page and requested that the team's next game...
Bulls Fan Learns The Shame Of The Giant Foam Hat
The giant foam hat is all fun and games until it is shown on the Jumbo Tron which is then shown on national television which is then uploaded to YouTube with ridiculing commentary and which then makes it to here, where we will shame your giant foam hat shame. What a world....
Patrick Kane's Offseason Begins With A Black Eye, Taking A Girl Home From A Club
Oh Kaner. We take a lot of shit for giving you shit, but you keep giving us shit to give you shit for....