w Page 4941 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
In Praise Of Team Spicoli
I have a new favorite Olympian, and he is the guy who, when asked yesterday how it feels to be a member of the U.S. snowboarding team, responded with the following bit of bongwater poetry:...
Lindsey Vonn Has A Lot Of Nerve Getting Hurt After Being So Sexy
Lindsey Vonn sure is purty, but who does she think she is? Getting everyone all hot and bothered over our Yankee Doodle Dandy and then having the audacity to break her shin before winning any gold medals! What a tease....
Rick Pitino Dismisses Reports He Will Soon Be Doing His Humping On The Floors Of New Jersey Diners
The New York Daily News reported this morning that the priapic Boy Genius had "intermediaries" contact the Nets to express his interest in the team's coaching job. Pitino managed to deny the story without referencing 9/11 once. Good for him....
Mike & Mike Would Like To Make Your Valentine's Day Miserable
After 20 emails, ESPN readers are confused as to why Golic and Greenberg are trying to coax them into entering a contest for a chance to win, what appears to be, two snakes 69-ing on top of a diamond. [ESPN.com]...
Last Night's Winner: Duke (Sorry.)
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Duke Blue Devils, who finally got the best of their terrible, next-to-last place catastrophe of an arch rival. Yes, they'll take it....
If The Nets Lose And No One's Around To See It, Does It Still Count In The Standings? (Yes.)
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
UK Thankfully Better At Basketball Than Spelling
Nike misspelled "Kentcuky" on John Wall's jersey for a Slam photoshoot. But to be fair, spelling your state correctly isn't a graduation requirement at most SEC schools. [Twitpic]...
Caps Fan Doesn't Actually Know Size Of Jordan Staal's Penis
It looked for all the world like that fan was impugning the, uh, curve of Staal's stick. Not so. Now we get the real story....
Clueless Announcers Dissect Obscene Jersey Salute (Fellator Update)
To all the middle-age announcers out there: when you see a fan making a hand gesture you don't understand, you shouldn't ask your broadcast partner to explain it. It just might be a blowjob pantomime....
Good Old Fashioned T-Shirt Racism In Kansas
A Lawrence retailer is selling t-shirts that say "Frank Martin Mows My Lawn." The K-State coach is Latino. This has understandably become a bit of a firestorm....
Today In Euphemizing Flat-Out Calling Johnny Weir Gay: Frank Deford
An occasional series in which we document — and evaluate — the sports media's pained efforts to call the sexually undeclared figure skater gay without quite calling him gay....
Locus Of Concern Shifts From Lindsey Vonn's Butt To Her Shin
Vonn, the skier last seen farting the Sports Illustrated flag, may miss the Olympics because of a bruised right shin. Don't worry. She's getting excellent medical care: "I wrap my leg in cheese and it takes the swelling down." [LAT]...
Roy Williams Is A Clueless Dick
North Carolina head coach Roy Williams has previously demonstrated his complete lack of perspective on more than one occasion, but he still wants you to know that the Haitian earthquake was nothing compared to losing to Virginia at home....
Roddickless: Even <em>Sports Illustrated</em> Prefers Brooklyn Decker To Her Husband
We learned yesterday that Brooklyn Decker, who doesn't play a sport, has now appeared on more Sports Illustrated covers than her husband, Andy Roddick, who occasionally plays a sport very well....
When Drew Brees Went To Lucy's
Sayeth Cajun Boy: "Of all the video/images I've seen from last night's Saints victory celebration in New Orleans, this one of Drew Brees leading the crowd at Lucy's in a pregame-style chant is the absolute best..."[CajunBoyInTheCity]...
I Was There: Those Aren't Tears, I Swear
Todd C. was at Pat O'Brien's on Bourbon Street and shot some video at game's end that represents the only touching moment in the bar's history that did not involve Rohypnol. He writes in an e-mail:...
The Saddest Rachel Uchitel Interview In History
Rachel Uchitel, known internationally as "Tiger Woods Mistress #1," is gearing up for a new career as a correspondent for Extra. She gave a bland interview to Mario Lopez, yet spurned my own half-assed attempt at snagging one. On Facebook....
College Jeopardy Contestant Honestly Confuses Coach K With "Jackass"
Actually, the Krzyzewski-related Johnny Knoxville movie they were searching for in that response was "The Dukes of Hazzard." But I think the judges will allow it. [WRAL]...
Last Night's Winner: Steven Jackson
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Steven Jackson, who will not face charges for allegedly roughing up his pregnant girlfriend. The bad news? He's free to play for the Rams again....
Don't Celebrate Just Yet: Brilliant Strategy Tainted Win, Says Football Genius
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....