Last Night's Winner: Duke (Sorry.)

In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Duke Blue Devils, who finally got the best of their terrible, next-to-last place catastrophe of an arch rival. Yes, they'll take it.

In case you haven't heard, this is the greatest/fiercest/bluest rivalry in sports, but Duke has not exactly been holding up its end of the bargain recently. The Blue Devils had lost three in a row, six of the last seven and North Carolina has two titles since Duke's last Final Four appearance. Plus, Psycho T was in the house and like ... you just can't handle that kind of intensity. But the Tar Heels are just that bad this season. They made the game as ugly as they could—can we dispense with the cracks about low-scoring Big Ten games?—but could not stop ... let's see ... Jon Scheyer? Well, then.

Honorable mention goes to Syracuse, who also remain at the top of their conference thanks to Jerome Dyson's unwillingness to shoot from within 30 feet of the basket and a favorable timeout call in the final minute. I guess when a player is floating through the lane on a ridiculous circus layup shot that counts as being in control of the ball. Why don't we just the let coaches play instead?

Personally, I think timeouts should be completely random. The more unexpected the better. Mid-alley oop? Whistle. Diving for a loose ball? Whistle. Setting up a small forward for baseline drive? Better get that shot off, because TIMEOUT! Every sport could use a little more chaos theory.