wan Page 36 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Pacman Jones Murders Pacman Jones' Dreadlocks
It always seems like the hair is the first casualty in the cleansing of one's image. Pacman Jones, seen there to your right, has not only washed the stripper glitter off of his face, but he's shorn his traditional dreadlocks. His agent says he was going for a more clean-cut, less dangerous image ......

And Suddenly, Figure Skating Is Fun Again
Just in case you haven't heard, Kristy Swanson was arrested Saturday night in Kingston, Ont. after a fight with Marcia O'Brien, who is the ex-wife of Canadian figure skater Lloyd Eisler. Swanson is dating Eisler. People magazine has the details, of course, and says that O'Brien filed a complaint, le...

Carl Monday: The Early Years
Ever wonder what drives crusading field journalist Carl Monday? He didn't just pursue the Mike Cooper library case out of thin air; there had to be an underlying force, some childhood trauma, perhaps, which would cause him in later life to obsess over a perfectly ordinary human function. We wonder w...

Who Will Win the 2007 Scripps National Spelling Bee?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

Pac Man Would Like His Job Again Please
For all the big apology full-page newspaper ads he has placed, Pac Man Jones isn't quite ready to give up the ghost just yet: He's appealing his year-long suspension to NFL commissioner Roger Goodell....

Cultural Oddsmaker: Who's the Next Minor League Mascot to Get All Dirty?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

'Competitive Wanking' Tag Makes Triumphant Return, And We Couldn't Be Prouder
It was back in August when we brought you the dramatic results of the 2006 Masturbate-A-Thon in London, in which 50 participants raised 500 pounds for charity (chances are you not only remember, but own the home version of the game). Well, British TV filmed a documentary of the event, and Netherland...

If You See These People At Large, Turn Them In IMMEDIATELY
Sure, you might look at this picture and think you see the kindly, warm-hearted parishioners of The Fall Creek Baptist Church in Indianapolis. It might make you feel warm; it might make you long for home. You might see nice old ladies during an Hawaiian-themed event. You might see that....

This Time, They Weren't Flopping
During a South African soccer match earlier this week, a sudden gust of wind hit the obviously shoddily constructed stadium. What happened after that is gruesome and amazing. Somebody give that sign a red card. A couple, actually....

RAD: Greatest. Movie. Ever.
When Will asked if I was interested in being a guest editor for a day, I said, yes, but only on one condition: I was allowed to do a post about RAD ... the Greatest. Movie. Ever. Unfortunately, for some of you at least, Will told me to go crazy and write whatever the hell I wanted too. Woops!...

Of Swann Songs And Quarterback Sneaks
Do sports and politics mix? As Keith Olberman pointed out on MSNBC Tuesday night, apparently not so much. Lynn Swann? Dead. Jim Ryun? Dead. Michael Steele? Dead. Niedermeier? ......

Lynn Swann Brings Many Skills To The Political Table
Not to bring up politics again, but as many as you know, former Steelers Hall of Famer Lynn Swann is running for governor of Pennsylvania. As anyone who has ever spent time in the general vicinity of the great city of Pittsburgh, part of your duties as political candidate is to play beer pong with y...

The Contest Results Are In
It's something the sight of which caused Mrs. Costanza to stumble and throw out her back, and truthfully, if she had seen this, it would have killed her. The 2006 Masturbate-a-thon is now in the record books, as approximately 50 participants — mostly men, and not including Mike Cooper — "dragged t...

Gentlemen, Start Your Wanking
Right now Carl Monday is snapping down the protective visor on his riot helmet, scrambling into the back of the WKYC Action News van and yelling "Let's roll!" Yes, the big Masturbate-A-Thon is tomorrow,* which, if you live in Europe, still leaves you plenty of time to get to Drop Studios in London...

Only A Matter Of Time Before This Becomes An Olympic Sport, You Know
It is at once Carl Monday's worst nightmare, and everyone else's dream come true. On August 5, hundreds of people will gather in a hall in central London to, um, pleasure themselves for charity. We only wish we were kidding about the UK's first "masturbate-a-thon," in which contestants — both men ...

Uh, Today Obviously Kind Of Sucks
Obviously, our massive tech issues from yesterday have been anything but resolved; in fact, they're decidedly worse today. We're told this is happening to all the Gawker Media sites, so we're not alone in theis wilderness....

Elsewhere...
• Reads the caption: "Michelle Kwan was named one of People Magazine's '50 Most Beautiful People' in 2000." And here's her nipple. Or, as I like to call it, Kwannipple....

OIbermann Vs. Swann: Battle Of The Intellects
We'll confess a slight affection for Keith Olbermann, though we sometimes think this conversation happens in his head every day:...

You're Doing A Heckuva Job, Swanny
After months of hinting and posturing (we mean, testing the waters. Sorry), Steelers Hall of Fame wide receiver Lynn Swann made the big announcement last week — he's running for governor of Pennsylvania. Swann, a football commentator for ABC, hopes to earn the Republican Party endorsement for the ...

Support Michelle Kwan's Right To Fall Down
We're not going to get in the habit of talking about figure skating around these parts, but we will confess, we taken much interest and, yes, enjoyment, in the plight of Professional Face Of Figure Skating Michelle Kwan....