water Page 8 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Teddy Bridgewater Left Momentarily Unconscious After Taking A Vicious Hit
Teddy Bridgewater was attempting to slide for a first down when Lamarcus Joyner ran into him and knocked him unconscious with this vicious elbow strike. The tackle drew an unnecessary roughness penalty. Bridgewater laid there unconscious for a while, before leaving the game to be evaluated for concu...
Billy Beane Is One Of The Biggest Water Wasters In The Bay Area
You may have heard that there is a pretty serious drought in California. Starting this summer, water restrictions went into effect across the state. For customers of the East Bay Municipal Utility District (East Bay MUD), the restrictions include only being allowed to water your lawn twice a week (a...
Ben Revere Blows Water Jug Bath, Dumps It All Over Himself
Josh Donaldson’s solo home run gave the Blue Jays a walkoff win over the Rays Sunday, and that’s lovely, but let’s talk about Ben Revere’s water-dumping skills. The outfielder was so excited about the opportunity to dump the jug on his teammates that he totally fucked it up....
An Adult's Guide To Learning To Swim
I truly believe swimmers are not born, but are made (excluding Michael Phelps and his insane body, of course). If you got past childhood without learning how to swim, it’s very possible that you’re now stricken with fear/embarrassment at the prospect. That makes perfect sense; it’s really hard to le...
2016 Olympians Will Be Competing In Poop Water, And The IOC Doesn't Care
Following in the grand tradition of pre-Olympic fuck-ups, the International Olympic Committee and 2016 Summer Olympics host city Rio de Janeiro have teamed up to bring us the summer games’ first big problem: shit water....
This Water Slide Is So Long I Think I'd Get Bored Halfway Down
Action Park, in northern New Jersey, unveiled this absurd 1,975-foot water slide last week, and it has since been verified by Guinness as the longest in the world. Water slides are great, of course, and you’d think the longer they are the better. But about a minute into this ride, I’d already be won...
This Mascot Is A Piece Of Poop. It's Poop.
Reader Kyle alerts us to the existence of Mr. Dingle, the official mascot of California’s Victor Valley Wastewater Reclamation Authority. Mr. Dingle is poop....
A Perfect Picnic Beer For Fruit Realists
The Fruits of the Field are the very finest family of solid foodstuff, preferable even to the glorious Meats, Cheeses, and Processed Grains, and eons better than the mere Vegetables, Candies, and Gelatins. This is because fruits are generally attractive (even the meatiest among us will admit that a ...
How To Remove Every Stain From Your Tie
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She’ll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
Bone Broth Is Hot Ham Water
Food trends are an easy thing to hate. They immediately conjure up thoughts of "foodie" culture, $6 cupcakes, and the insufferable idiots who invented kale. But some trends are important and genuinely advance the way we eat. Twenty years ago, cheap Mexican food meant Taco Bell, ramen was $.02 wo...
Action Park Is Getting A Looping Water Slide That Actually Works
Joyous, potentially litigious news, everybody! New Jersey's Action Park, home of the looming carcass of a decades-old vertical looping water slide that was as injurious as it was mysterious, is getting a new attraction. Above, and coming in 2016, is the SkyCaliber. It seems like it works safely, w...
HS Football Team's Season Cancelled After Reports Of Waterboarding
The Central Bucks West High School football team in Doylestown, Penn., has had the last two games of its season cancelled after an internal investigation revealed that members of the team had engaged in "improper conduct." According to police, several of the football players participated in hazing r...
NCAA Unionization Means Sink-Or-Swim For Smaller Sports
At this point, the professionalism of collegiate athletics seems to be not a question of if, but when. This inevitability has triggered those high in the NCAA food chain to insinuate that every sport save football and basketball is doomed. Case in point: the Knight Commission on Intercollegiate Athl...
The Wet Stuff
Over at Grantland, here's our pal Bryan Curtis on the men who built the great American waterpark:...
Matt Cassel Named Vikings' Starting QB Over Teddy Bridgewater
Per Jay Glazer, Vikings players were told this morning that Matt Cassel will be the No. 1 QB, while rookie Teddy Bridgewater will start the season on the bench. ...
CNN Anchor Suggests Police Use Water Cannons On Ferguson Protesters
In discussing seemingly less-violent options for crowd control, Rosemary Church wonders why the largely white authorities in Ferguson haven't considered using water cannons on the the largely black crowds. Once her co-anchor Errol Barnett processed what she just said, he looks at her like she's go...
Machers And Rockers: Jews And The Blues
From Rich Cohen's winning book, The Record Men, here's an excerpt about Leonard Chess and Muddy Waters:...
Coconut Water Not All That Good For You, Also Lousy And Gross
Many people like to drink coconut water. Some like to drink it because they believe it contains miraculous health-chemicals. Others like to drink it because they believe it tastes good. Both of these groups are incorrect....