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Robert Kraft Really Doesn't Want You Seeing Video Of Him Getting A Hand Job [Updated]
Florida—yes, that state that often feels as if it’s been included in America just for the jokes, which also might slide into the ocean, aka my home state—does get some things right. Historically, it has one of strongest public record laws in the country. Sure, the legislature loves to poke holes in ...
Ben Simmons Shouts Out Australian Hero "Egg Boy" On His Sneakers
Ben Simmons, the terrific Australian point-forward capably leading the mostly Joel Embiid-less 76ers down the stretch in the East’s playoff race, used a pen and some spectacularly clashing yellow sneakers Tuesday night to shout out Will Connolly, the 17-year-old hero who smashed an egg on the head o...
Report: Robert Kraft Can Get Solicitation Charges Dropped If He Admits He Would've Been Found Guilty In Trial
Florida prosecutors have offered to drop the solicitation charges against Patriots owner Robert Kraft on the condition that he admits he would’ve been found guilty of receiving sex acts had the case gone to trial, according to the Wall Street Journal. ...
Eric Angle Charged With Assault After Lifting Youth Wrestler By His Neck
Former pro wrestler Eric Angle, brother to WWE star Kurt Angle, currently coaches a youth wrestling team in Pittsburgh, Penn. At a tournament on Saturday, Angle was captured on camera lifting up one of his wrestlers by the neck and tossing him back down to the mat....
Bianca Andreescu Blew Up Tennis
Eighteen-year-old Bianca Andreescu started out the 2019 season at 152nd in the world. At Indian Wells, as big a tournament as exists outside the majors, she came in as a wild card. Like so many promising young players, she was granted entry to a huge event she wouldn’t have qualified with just her r...
WWE Signing Stokely Hathaway Is A Sign That Wrestling Managers Are Back
When WWE announces a new class of signees for its Performance Center in the Orlando area, the notable names tend to go public in advance. WWE infamously instructs its incoming talent not to tell anyone, but those wrestlers still have to finish up their independent dates before joining the promotion,...
Utah Jazz Permanently Ban Another Fan, Who Called Russell Westbrook "Boy" In 2018 Playoffs
The Jazz are cracking down on their vilest hecklers after Monday night’s provocation, which got a rise out of a visiting Russell Westbrook and resulted in Utah fan Shane Keisel getting a permanent ban. Team owner Gail Miller addressed fans directly before Thursday’s home game, and today the Deseret...
Utah Jazz Owner Wants Her Team's Fans To Quit Being Huge Flaming Assholes All The Time
The dickweed Jazz fan who heckled Russell Westbrook until Westbrook threatened to kick both his ass and the ass of his wife has been permanently banned from Utah’s home arena. That’s fair and appropriate, but a lingering consequence of Monday’s exchange is an ongoing public discussion about the very...
MLB Announces Several Rule Tweaks Amid Broader Gathering Sense Of Doom
The best and most important thing about the rule changes announced in Major League Baseball on Thursday is that they were agreed upon by both the league and the MLB Players Association. It is not necessarily encouraging when what should be an obvious tautology is also a highlight, and it is also wor...
College Basketball Player Sets Up Game-Winner With The Classic Off-The-Butt Play
The Eastern Washington Eagles are headed to their first Big Sky championship game in over 30 years thanks to a clever play involving a butt. Trailing by a point with 4.6 seconds left in Wednesday’s semifinal against two-seed Northern Colorado, freshman point guard Jessica McDowell-White had to inbou...
Wizards Descend On Minor-League Hockey Game To Cause Impossible Goal
The Manitoba Moose beat the Texas Stars 4-3 in AHL play on Wednesday night, but the Moose’s continued dominance on home ice is not the story here. The big news came midway through the second period, when the apparent existence of magic in our material world was revealed to us through a shot by Stars...
New Music Festival Video Shows James Dolan At Peak Weenie
Less than a week after New York Knicks owner James Dolan threw a fan out of a Knicks game, a new video posted on Twitter today shows Dolan trying to kick a fan out of music festival....
Russell Westbrook Found His Jump Shot And Is Doing Russ Shit Again
Pretty much everything about how Russell Westbrook played basketball over the first 10 years of his pro career, and especially over the two seasons prior to this one, was insane and impossible. Each time he crossed over into a 75-degree change of direction while sprinting—sprinting—directly at a def...
Hardcore Grizzlies Fan Proposes To Girlfriend By Asking, “Will You Grit N Grind With Me Forever?"<em></em>
Every girl spends her youth dreaming of that perfect proposal from her dream guy. You know what I’m talking about. The one where you and Prince Charming are visiting fans at a March NBA game between two below-.500 teams. Harry The Hawk is there. A woman with a microphone is narrating to a semi-engag...
Ronda Rousey Is Highlighting WWE's Problems With Breaking The Fourth Wall
WWE works best when it sticks to the rules. This is more a question of storytelling than it is of sport, although that’s always true. This is why someone unfamiliar with the beats of professional wrestling but attuned to how narrative works can understand wrestling even if they don’t comprehend the ...
What Weed And The NFL Can Do For Each Other
In the quest for homeostasis, pain is your friend. Pain tells you when you’re wrong. When you need to change your behavior. For an athlete, pain is your coach. Pushing your body to its limits causes Coach Pain to speak up. Are you hurting or are you hurt? Is this a no-pain/no-gain situation or are y...
How Many Seconds Of Denis Shapovalov's Rap Can You Tolerate?
Denis Shapovalov is a favorite around these parts. The 19-year-old plays a stirring, free-wheeling style of tennis thanks to weapons like his backhand, seen on display in Tuesday’s second-round upset of No. 10 seed Marin Cilic at Indian Wells. But rap is not one of those weapons....
Who Is We?
This past December, the New York Times ran a perfectly anodyne post promoting a new episode of The Daily, its popular podcast, and found itself mildly embarrassed. The problem wasn’t the actual substance of what it had published, a straightforward accounting of how the national-security establishmen...
Aaron Hernandez's Murder Conviction Has Been Reinstated
After Aaron Hernandez died by suicide in 2017, his 2015 conviction for the murder of Odin Lloyd was overturned. The verdict was vacated because of a Massachusetts law that abates convictions in cases where the defendant dies before having the opportunity to see out the appeals process. Today, the s...
The Chud Who Heckled Russell Westbrook Has Been Permanently Banned From Jazz Games
A Utah Jazz fan named Shane Keisel became famous last night when he heckled Oklahoma City Thunder star Russell Westbrook, goading Westbrook into a profane and threatening response. The Utah Jazz announced today that Keisel has been permanently banned from the team’s home arena, due to the “excessive...