we Page 231 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Blake Bortles's Butt Bumped To Bench

The Jaguars were doing okay against the Bills Sunday, but then the guy who had scored two TDs for them was ejected for fighting, they pissed away a first-and-goal situation, and Buffalo won, 24-21. This extended the team’s losing streak to seven. The usually loquacious Jalen Ramsey couldn’t even say...

Derek Carr Has Joined His Brother David In Stat Hell

Ravens linebacker Matthew Judon sacked Raiders QB Derek Carr on three consecutive offensive plays during Baltimore’s 34-17 win Sunday. That’s a rare accomplishment. Since 1982, only one other player has sacked the quarterback three straight times in one game: Colts defensive end Brad Scioli, who did...

Steelers' Fake Field Goal Ends The Half With A Fat Guy Touchdown

The Steelers offense marched 73 yards down the field before the Broncos defense made three important stops to force Pittsburgh into a 4th-and-goal from the two-yard line. Denver, expecting the chip-shot field goal to end the half, rushed nearly everyone on their side of the ball. That gave Chris Bos...

Henry Anderson's Dick And Balls Rudely Squished By Cordarrelle Patterson [Update]

Cordarrelle Patterson was brought down by Henry Anderson after a one-yard gain on a first-and-five run early in the fourth quarter of Sunday’s Patriots-Jets tilt. Patterson, who I think it will henceforth be fair to assume is a total sociopath, expressed his displeasure with that turn of events by c...

Oklahoma's Robert Barnes Not Flagged For Potential Targeting Hit On West Virginia's Marcus Simms

Oklahoma outlasted West Virginia in a 59-56 classic Big 12 shootout that likely had defensive coordinators everywhere weeping for the future of their positions. But even with all of the scoring, and general back-and-forth action, one of the biggest plays in the game came at the tail end of the first...

Amateur MMA Fighter Somehow Injures Both Of His Legs Celebrating His Knockout Win

Weird shit seems to happen all the time in the lower rungs of MMA. There was the guy who did a front flip off his opponent’s lifeless body, the guy who barfed all over the cage for no good reason, and the other guy who crapped a bunch in the cage (this one at least is not unique to regional MMA). Th...

It’s Been A Weird And Wonderful Week Of Football

We’re here with your Thanksgiving week edition of Emergency Football Show Weekly! Dom Cosentino and I break down the show put on by the Rams and Chiefs on Monday Night Football, a costly mistake by Philip Rivers, the resurgence of the Indianapolis Colts and, of course, Jon Gruden and Derek Carr argu...

If Pro Wrestling Is Art, Daniel Bryan Is His Generation's Master

Welcome back, Daniel Bryan....

Ass Team Of The Week: You And The Philadelphia Eagles Will Be Trampled By The Stampede Of Time And Left For Dead

Here is an easy prediction to make: the Philadelphia Eagles are certainly not going to repeat as Super Bowl champions. It’s very unlikely, at this point, that they will even return to the playoffs. Their 4-6 record relays that information plainly enough, but the 48-7 loss they suffered at the hands ...

Me And My Boy Snuck Into The Greatest Football Game Ever Played

Sunday night’s Gonzaga-DeMatha matchup for DC’s Catholic league title was, objectively speaking, the greatest event in the history of mankind. Sporting or otherwise. (Non-believers can watch it all here.)...

Ex-WWE Wrestler Enzo Amore Got Kicked Out Of The Crowd At Survivor Series

Enzo Amore was once a popular wrestler in WWE’s NXT promotion before getting called up to the WWE, suffering a scary-looking injury, alienating fellow wrestlers with his attitude. He then was released in January after being accused of rape. (He was not charged.)...

Farting Controversy Clouds Grand Slam Of Darts Quarterfinal

In case you missed it, Scottish dart player Gary Anderson defeated Dutchman Wesley Harms 10-2 to earn a spot in the quarterfinals of the Gland Slam of Darts. But the match was not without a whiff of controversy. In a post-match interview, Harms claimed that he wasn’t able to play to the best of his ...

Jolly Old Soccer Man Sets The Record Straight About His <i>FIFA</i> Ratings

Kevin Ellison is a 39-year-old English soccer player who has plied his trade at 13 different clubs throughout the lower levels of English soccer, only ever making one appearance in the Premier League, with Leicester City in 2001. He’s essentially soccer’s answer to Crash Davis, and he currently play...

"Broken Face" And All, Becky Lynch Is Suddenly The Biggest Star In WWE

When last we discussed Becky Lynch in this space, she was already a star but still a few weeks removed from turning on Charlotte Flair at SummerSlam. This was a problem for WWE, even if they only sort of seemed to know it then. Becky was and still notionally is a heel, but fans stuck with Becky as t...

This is a couple of weeks old, but it’s endearing: A diehard Vancouver Grizzlies fan went on a mission to find the defunct team’s reclusive center Bryant “Big Country” Reeves. Unlike a lot of quests in this vein, she actually reached a satisfying resolution. That resolution at one point includes Big...

Former WWE Wrestler Enzo Amore Booted Off Flight Because He Wouldn't Stop Vaping [Update]

Former WWE wrestler Enzo Amore, real name Eric Arndt, was reportedly kicked off a flight this morning after he refused to stop vaping. Pro Wrestling Sheet reports that Arndt was headed from JFK airport in New York to Los Angeles on a Delta flight, but the flight was delayed and he was eventually kic...

Kirk Minihane Will Leave WEEI, But Get His Own Show

Radio host Kirk Minihane, who stepped away from his morning show Kirk & Callahan because of mental health issues, is moving on from WEEI, although he will be staying within the station’s parent company Entercom. He’s getting his own show on a radio app next year....

The Eagles Suck!

Last week Dom Cosentino and I discussed one simple truth of this NFL season: The Dallas Cowboys were a mess. Naturally, the Cowboys went out and beat up on the Philadelphia Eagles on Sunday night....

Ronda Rousey Basically Called Becky Lynch A Beta Snowflake Cuck On <i>Raw</i> This Week

Aside from its concessions to Saudi Arabia as part of a larger business deal with the murderous gulf autocracy, WWE’s recent programming has been as apolitical as it has been in ages. It’s the sort of thing that’s more notable in its absence, but the promotion’s classic xenophobic and jingoistic sto...

Malcolm Gladwell Goes On Bill Simmons's Podcast, Delivers Sweaty Monologue On Nigerian Basketball Superiority

Malcolm Gladwell appeared on Bill Simmons’s podcast today to advance the claim that Nigerians would be the best possible basketball team composed of members of any one race. He began by arguing that being Nigerian depended on the player’s parents’ country of origin, and then kept building from there...