we Page 283 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Russell Westbrook Wields The Power Cosmic Against Memphis<em></em>
One of the worst critiques of Russell Wesbrook’s MVP candidacy is the one that tries to sneer at the very concept of the triple-double. “It’s an arbitrary accomplishment!” mewls the weenie. “We’re biased towards round numbers!” he continues, sniveling, pretending like a the roundness of 31-10-10 som...
West Virginia Pitcher Plucks Line Drive Right Out Of The Air With His Bare Hand
Alek Manoah is a big, talented pitcher for West Virginia who snagged this line drive out of the sky and got his team a slick double play....
Dustin Johnson Questionable For Masters After Supposedly Falling Down The Stairs
Dustin Johnson, reigning U.S. Open champion and current No. 1-ranked golfer in the world, might have to miss this weekend’s tournament after he suffered a back injury at his rental home in Augusta, Ga....
Why NFL Owners Won't End Marijuana Testing Even Though They Don't Want It Anymore
One other fascinating item about the NFL’s recent owners-only meeting that Mike Florio detailed last weekend over at Pro Football Talk: Cowboys owner Jerry Jones—who seems to have more pull than anyone in the NFL these days—wants the league to be more chill about testing players for marijuana. But e...
Russell Westbrook Has A Double-Double For The Season<em></em>
Tonight, Russell Westbrook scored 12 points, grabbed 13 rebounds, and handed out 13 assists in a rout of the listless Milwaukee Bucks. The 13 rebounds that Westbrook grabbed give him 822 for the season through 77 games. Westbrook is already well over the 820 points he’d need to average double-digit ...
Diamondbacks Fuck Up Online<em></em>
Who’s ready for #TealTuesday in Arizona??? These guys!!!...
Tony Romo's Retirement Means The Texans Are Basically Fucked
Now that Tony Romo’s going to be Jim Nantz’s wingman, the real question left wafting in the air is this: What the hell are the Houston Texans going to do?...
Trump Conspiracy Tweetstorms Are The Infowars Of The Left
The fastest-growing career in America is not, as the Bureau of Labor Statistics would have you believe, in installing and repairing wind turbines. The fastest-growing career is doing 63 tweets in a row about why Donald Trump is a Manchurian president....
Idiot On The Field Steals Tom Brady's Jersey
A few of the Patriots showed up with their Lombardi Trophy for Red Sox opening day, and overactive galoot Rob Gronkowski had fun with quarterback Tom Brady by nabbing his recently recovered Super Bowl jersey. ...
Here's Arsène Wenger Physically Embodying The Despair Of Arsenal's Season
Watch this video of an anguished Arsène Wenger as he looks upon his charges while they conspire to throw away the work they’d done just moments earlier to get back on level terms with Manchester City. Wenger sees Mesut Özil cough the ball up, watches City carve up Arsenal’s back line with ease, and ...
The Undertaker Leaves The Ring For (Probably) The Last Time
Rumors—and common sense, given that he’s 52 years old—suggested The Undertaker’s final appearance for WWE would be at tonight’s Wrestlemania in Orlando. And so it seems, as the Deadman stripped himself of gloves, cloak, and hat while breaking kayfabe to kiss his wife upon leaving the ring following ...
The Hardys Are Back
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Gronk "Fights Off Security" To Invade Ring And Beat Up <i>Wrestlemania</i> Battle Royal Opponent
Rob Gronkowski turned up at tonight’s Wrestlemania in Orlando in support of buddy Mojo Rawley to help bust up some bad guys en route to Rawley’s win in the Andre the Giant memorial battle royal....
Brewers Reliever Sent To Triple-A: I'd Rather Have "A 9-To-5 Job Where I Get Treated Like A Human"<em></em>
After six years in the Brewers’ minor-league system, Tyler Cravy made his debut in the big leagues in 2015. It didn’t go especially well, and neither did his return last year. But the 27-year-old clearly thought he was sticking around after a decently strong spring training, with a 2.03 ERA over 11 ...
Diminutive Tennis Player's Entertaining Hot Streak Ends With ACL Tear<em></em>
If you were to flesh out the cohort of the next generation of tennis, the first few picks would be easy: Nick Kyrgios and Alexander Zverev are the sure shots; Dominic Thiem and Lucas Pouille are a little older but have got to be in the mix; and from the U.S. there’s Jack Sock and hopefully Frances ...
The Best Thing About This Year's WrestleMania Is A Brutally Personal Reality-TV Feud
This Sunday’s WrestleMania is not your father’s, which is both the sort of thing World Wrestling Entertainment would say to promote it and true—if not quite in the way they would like you to think....
Reporter Embarrasses Himself And America At Bastian Schweinsteiger Press Conference
As an American soccer fan, this video of an oblivious reporter quite confidently asking Bastian Schweinsteiger, new to MLS’s Chicago Fire, whether Chicago can be expected to win the goddamn World Cup is almost too painful to sit through....
Triple-Double King Russell Westbrook Crafts His Masterpiece
In case you were skeptical about Russell Westbrook’s MVP bona fides, consider tonight’s one-man destruction of the Orlando Magic....
Teen Girls Are Now Having Hobbyhorse Competitions And That's Fine
If you’re still coming to terms with the fact that people run around with brooms between their legs and call it quidditch, you might want to sit down for this next bit of news: Teens in Finland are participating in equestrian events on hobbyhorses, and they are taking these events very seriously....
Vital Cultural Activity Of Our Era Is Not Music But Rather Something I Still Participate In, Says Old Guy
“Food is the new music” is a good phrase to memorize for when you get too old to really go to a lot of concerts any more, because that shit happens very late at night....