we Page 332 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Seven Habits Of Highly Awesome Middle School Runners
We’re trotting along, arms uptight and locked, kneecaps clanking, when one of the sixth-grade harriers pulled up short. In this group, sudden cessation of movement indicates either a haphazardly attached body part has fallen off, or the stalled vehicle has decided he hates cross country and is dropp...
Let's Deal With That Nasty Shower Curtain Liner
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She’ll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
How To Be A Gracious And Fun Wedding Date
Fifteen years ago, signing up to be someone’s wedding date might have only meant giving up a couple of hours of your life. You would go to a short ceremony at a neighborhood church followed by a rubbery chicken dinner nearby. You might have had to awkwardly dance to “Shout!” with strangers, but knew...
The NFL Is Closely Watching Hurricane Joaquin
Hurricane Joaquin, currently churning off the Bahamas, is expected to dump a ton of rain on the Mid-Atlantic and Northeast at best, and at worst, come ashore as a powerful storm. Some models put it arriving in Virginia, perhaps right in time for Sunday afternoon’s Eagles-Skins game....
Classic Man: A Sweat Hut Can Kill You
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Last week, we talked about sharpening axes; today, we’ve moved on to sweat lodges....
Get Your Ass Off Mars: <i>The Martian </i>Is A Thrilling, Crowd-Pleasing Science Problem
1. The Martian will make you feel better about America, about the goodness of your fellow man, about the limitless possibilities of human achievement. That it’s also rooted in hard science (or at least a movie’s version of hard science, which is close enough), that all its surprises and accomplishme...
Don't Mess Up Your Anniversary
The tough thing about writing a definitive guide to anniversaries is that every couple should, quite rightly, handle them differently....
True Tales Of Lube And Laundry
On this episode of the official Ask a Clean Person podcast, Casey Johnston and Cesar Torres of The Sweethome joined me to talk about the wonderful work their site does in testing all manner of household products, from brooms and label-makers to mascara and sex toys....
The Chiefs Finally Put An End To Football's Silliest Streak
I can appreciate a good sports streak as much as anyone, but the dumb ones are always more fun than the actually impressive ones. Which is why last night’s Chiefs-Packers game was, despite Aaron Rodgers’s continued brilliance, kind of a bummer. The Chiefs, for the first time in 18 regular-season gam...
"Eat A Whole Can Of Chewing Tobacco," And More Terrible Reader Dares
On Friday, we asked you to tell us about the craziest dare you ever accepted. You all came back with stories of eating things you shouldn’t have eaten, getting naked in places you shouldn’t have gotten naked, and doing various things you definitely shouldn’t have done—especially since in many cases,...
EL-P On The New Cat-Rap Classic <i>Meow The Jewels</i>: "It's A Lonely And Strange Thing"
Embrace the moment: One of the most feverishly anticipated hip-hopalbums of the year is finally here, and it’s made up almost entirely of sampled cat sounds. It’s called Meow the Jewels, and you can download it for free right here, and its backstory is now the stuff of internet (and cat) lore. It st...
Tom Brady Becomes Fourth Quarterback To Throw 400 Touchdowns
With this easy one-yard touchdown pass to a wide open Danny Amendola in the second quarter of today’s game against the Jaguars, Tom Brady joined Dan Marino, Brett Favre, and Peyton Manning as the fourth quarterback to throw 400 or more touchdown passes in an NFL career....
Fresno State Scores Touchdown On Play We Don't Entirely Understand
What you see here is Fresno State’s Jamire Jordan scoring a touchdown to narrow San Jose State’s lead over the Bulldogs. But exactly what play this is, or what it is supposed to look like, we’re completely lost. Is it supposed to be a pass play? Did guys forget to block? Is it a completely broken an...
Maryland Cheerleader, Like The Terrapins, Is Getting Crushed
West Virginia is obliterating the Terrapins today, as the Mountaineers are already up 38-0 at the half. Taking things especially hard was this Maryland cheerleader who bore the brunt of Shelton Gibson’s 41-yard touchdown catch:...
15 Years Ago, Vince Carter Jumped Over A 7-Footer And Dunked The Shit
Exactly 15 years ago today, Vince Carter jumped over 7-foot-2 French center Frédéric Weis and dunked the ball at the 2000 Sydney Olympics. You remember, right? Right....
Madison Bumgarner Had An Endless, Awkward Staredown With Umpire Joe West
You know Joe West. Of course you know Joe West, because West is the only MLB umpire who thinks you’re there to see him instead of the game. Picking fights, escalating confrontations, offering opinions when none are asked for, and ejecting West craves being the center of attention, and wants nothing ...
Barry Zito And Tim Hudson Will Face Off On Saturday
Congratulations A’s and Giants fans, you did it! You successfully wished something cool into existence!...
Try Not To Laugh At Jerry Jones's Evaluation Of Brandon Weeden
The Cowboys are in as bad a shape as any 2-0 team can be. Tony Romo will miss most of the season with a broken clavicle, and Dez Bryant’s busted foot will keep him on the shelf for God knows how long. Backup quarterback Brandon Weeden will lead the team against Atlanta next week, a fact Jerry Jones ...
A Sketchy Drug Test Didn’t Stop Vitor Belfort From Fighting At UFC 152
Just more than 24 hours ahead of their Memorial Day fight this year, UFC middleweight champion Chris Weidman stepped up to his opponent, Vitor Belfort, in public, ready to accuse him of cheating....