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Hair Of The Dong: The Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions
I know you were worried, but rest assured, here is your weekly dong fix. We get things started this week with a submission from none other than Dong Curator Emeritus, Brian Hickey. In his own words: "This is actually a hair on my bathroom wall. The fuck did that happen?" Please remember to support ...

Welsh Rugby Out To Kill All Kinds Of Popes, Not Just The Catholic Ones
This story is strange on a number of levels. In 2008, two Welsh doctors discovered that going back to 1883, five roman Catholic Popes had died whenever Wales rugby won the Grand Slam. The Grand Slam, of course, is when one team in the annual Six Nations Championship beats all the other teams in a g...

These Brewers Fans Are Especially Concerned About What's On Tap
At first glance, this appears to be your regular "colorful" couple, found in ballparks across the country. Then you realize the guy has a bat, and the entire nature of the evening changes....

76ers CEO Invites Fans To Be "Our Twitter GM," Uses Poor Grammar
The Philadelphia 76ers began the season 20-9, but they're now hovering near .500 and clinging to the eighth and final spot in the Eastern Conference. Adam Aron, the team's ever-engaging CEO, is apparently open to any and all suggestions from his nearly 15,000 Twitter followers. It's doubtful Joe fro...

Dope Scandal: Why Is ESPN's Drugs-In-College-Football Story So Stupid?
Honestly, I feel bad for everyone involved in the making of this ESPN The Magazine feature about college football's marijuana "problem," which has to be the stupidest sports-and-dope story I've read in an allegedly reputable outlet since the Yahoo guy went running around the Syracuse campus with a p...

Oh, Why Not? Here's Rob Gronkowski Dancing And Singing Along To LMFAO
The Offseason of Gronk made it to Playboy Golf a couple of weeks back. Gronk's the one in the shades with the Zubaz pants and the matching Zubaz headband. Hope that clears up any confusion....

Twenty Citizens' Worth Of Blood Flowed Through Him: A Medic Confronts The Open Wounds Of Afghanistan
This was originally written for Deadspin's Blood Week, but shit happens and we're running it now....

Was Bob Huggins Drunk At A Coaching Clinic The Other Day?
A number of current and former college basketball coaches—Billy Donovan, Roy Williams, Bob Knight, Jamie Dixon, among others—gave presentations at a Nike clinic over the weekend at Robert Morris University in suburban Pittsburgh. But according to an eyewitness, West Virginia's Bob Huggins is the onl...

Delonte West Earned A Technical Foul For Giving Gordon Hayward A Wet Willie
Delonte West's been a source of our amusement for some time, but his antics have run him afoul of the law—and NBA referees—more often than not. He somehow escaped ejection for tonight's shenanigans, in which he shoved a finger in Jazz swingman Gordon Hayward's ear in the second quarter of the Dal...

Scenes From An Execution: Here's All 17 Goals Marc-Andre Fleury's Allowed To The Flyers This Series
The Philadelphia Flyers increased their Stanley Cup playoff series lead on Pittsburgh to 3-0 yesterday after a mess of a game best illustrated through metaphor. The six goals allowed by Penguins goalie Marc-Andre Fleury ran his total allowed in the series to 17—a number that looks even worse when...

On NHL Suspensions And Eggshell Skulls
Shea Weber shoves Henrik Zetterberg's head into the glass: fine, no suspension. Byron Bitz hits Kyle Clifford from behind, sending him into the boards: two-game suspension. Matt Carkner sucker punches Brian Boyle, continuing to hit him after he goes down: one-game suspension. Carl Hagelin elbows Da...

Deadspin Up All Night: Change Face
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. We'll be around. If not, see you next week....

The Cardinals Put The Rally Squirrel On Their World Series Rings
If being from St. Louis weren't already embarrassing, here's the rally squirrel, immortalized in gaudy jewels and precious metal. The rings, as noted in these consecutively written sentences were presented to the Cardinals yesterday and are meant to encapsulate the entire season....

Today In Jose Canseco Tweets As Motivational Posters: The Duality Of Life
This is a feature wherein we celebrate Jose Canseco by creating motivational posters out of his actual tweets. We believe it is in this context that the world can best appreciate our favorite Bash Brother....

Deadspin Up All Night: So Alive
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. We will be checking in throughout the night with any exciting happenings. Take care....

History Lesson: The Time Matt Millen Punched The Patriots' General Manager In The Head
An occasional feature in which we recall notable incidents that we would've covered the hell out of had we existed at the time....

There's A New Dunk Of The Year Candidate, And It's This Durant-To-Westbrook Alley-Oop
Okay, so we're getting a bit repetitive. First this was the dunk of the year, then this was in the running too. Yeah, yeah, they're all great dunks, and so is this one, from the second quarter of tonight's Thunder-Kings tussle in Oklahoma City. What's it got going for it? Well, it's a lob, and wh...

Let's Watch David West Send The Cavs' Mascot To The Hospital By Punching The Shit Out Of Him
We told you yesterday morning about what happened to poor Moondog, the Cleveland Cavaliers' mascot who had to go the hospital the night before after being punched in the eye by the Pacers' David West. A different video, shot from a distance, has been making its way around the Internet since then, ...

Rob Gronkowski Plays "Fuck, Marry, Kill" For Rex Ryan, Betty White, And Tim Tebow
The Rob Gronkowski Magical Mystery Tour rolled into URI last night, and as with all university speakers, "Fuck, Marry, Kill" was played. Gronk's (partial) answer: "I would F Tebow, the kid(?), take his virginity." The bro near the camera finds it hilarious. [via Jimmy Traina]...

This Texas Rangers Fan Can Do Amazing Things With Her Mouth
And yet this is still only the second-weirdest face ever to appear in the background behind erstwhile sideline reporter Jim Knox. (This would be the weirdest.)...