we Page 735 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Patriots High School Cheerleader Baffles Those Wanting To Accurately Leer
From the booby-centric miscreants over at Busted Coverage comes another time-wasting exercise that guarantees you will spend an unhealthy amount of time anaylzing teenage girls on the internet. The New England Patriots announced their 2008 cheerleading squad and one of the newest members is curren...

About Last Night
What you missed while attending a beauty pageant with Ronaldo ... • MLB: Santana makes it to 100, says he owes it all to clean living. Mets 6, Dodgers 1 • Tennis: If your name has vic on the end of it, congratulations. • Motor sports: Ryan Briscoe goes very fast, wins big trophy....

Manny's 500th Homer Inspires Bouts Of Tumbling
If you don't properly fumigate for Red Sox fans, they'll show up in droves at your stadium. Take cautionary measures, people. That was the case last night at Camden Yards, as the vermin all packed in for a chance to see Manny Ramirez's 500th homaaaahhh. And the high-fivin' one came through. One guy ...

Never Again Will I Trifle With Nightmare Shark
It looks like we're back in commission (I think, I hope) after a nice 20-hour ravaging by, uh, well, I'm not quite sure. Nibbles might have been frightened off by the shark photo. Look, it's involved, confusing stuff. They only pay me to post dick jokes and monkey pictures....

Hitchin' A Ride
• Foul, or not a foul? Doesn't matter now. • Oddsmaker came back! • This car is awesome. • Michael Jackson, UFC fan. • Loving YMCA. • Ryan Howard, a Tractor Traylor heir. • Alfonso Soriano is sensitive. • Back from France. • Scary. • Here comes Reilly! • Borat and heavyweight champs....

About Last Night
What you missed while paying tribute to Hedley Lamarr ... • NBA: Lakers complete their half of a potential Lakers-Celtics 1980s reunion. LA 100, San Antonio 92. • MLB: Welcome back, Joe. Here's another loss. Mets 8, Dodgers 4. • Horse racing: Big Brown guarantees Triple Crown victory....

Julian Tavarez, Still Crazy, Still Losing Stuff
Next month, we'll be heading to Fenway Park to see our Cardinals play the Red Sox. We've been trying to calm our parents down; they're a little afraid Boston fans will come after them for wearing Cardinals garb. We don't think so. Cardinals fans and Red Sox fans have always gotten along well, thanks...

Michael Jordan Finds A New Underwear Buddy
It is perhaps fitting that the greatest athlete of our generation — sorry, the generation before ours — has spent the last three years pretending to scout for the Bobcats and making underwear ads. Sure, hey, who doesn't hang out with Kevin Bacon, playing pool and tossing packaged briefs back and for...

Boston Getting A Head Start On The Head Start Memorabilia
Just to appropriately taunt the sporting dieties — Patriots style — this T-shirt has officially been on racks. We're not sure what this says about Deadspin readers, but three different people sent this to us over the weekend from the same ESPN Store at Disneyworld in Orlando....

About Last Night...
What you missed re-creating the chase scene from Space Mutiny... • NBA: Yeah, well, Boston still hasn't won two road games yet. • NHL: Son of Samuel goes on massive scoring spree, dozens wounded, Red Wings at large with 4-0 win. • MLB: Cubs won the first eight innings. Problem is, the dang thing wen...

Commence Memorializing In An Approrpriate Manner Right Now
• Barkley admits he has a gambing problem. Kind of. • Softball ladies no longer have to resemble Drew Carey • Bill Simmons continues to fulminate • Chris Cooley: Almost married man • Basketbawful has been killing the NBA playoff coverage • Minor Enterprise is definitely hitting its stride • He...

Dusty Basketball Courts Far, Far Away
Even though I promised an alarming amount of irreverence for most of today, it would be unconscionable of me not to sendTrue Hoop genius Henry Abbott as many eyeballs as humanly possible over to his story, "Infantry Hoops in Iraq." Afer he inquired about the amount of basketball being played by some...

Marlins Break Brandon Webb's Evil Spell
Somewhere in a third-world country, a child is wearing a Brandon Webb 10-0 t-shirt. It looks rather spiffy with his Patriots 19-0 Super Bowl hat, and his New Orleans Hornets foam No. 1 finger. To beat the most unbeatable of pitchers on Wednesday, Marlins manager Fredi Gonzalez called for the most de...

Latina Mary Pickford, First Lady Of The Cagers
Slate's Robert Weintraub, like many of us, loves the old purple prose of early 1900s sportswriting, the Grantland Rices, the men who painted epic tales of warriors, grizzled combatants and lardywarks too manly to wear gloves. In an occasional series, Weintraub writes about the week's best baseball g...

Dazed And Confused
Oh, the carnage (covers eyes). Well that's it, there are no more indignities left. Following Tuesday's games, New York has seen them all. The Mets dropped a doubleheader to the Braves, featuring Ryan Church's attempt to break up a double play at second (Fail). Meanwhile, the Yankees lost to the Orio...

John Tomase Spared Any More Online Ridicule For Now
After last Friday's awkwardly (if not sincere) apologizing to readers of the Boston Herald, Patriot fans, Patriot front office, Bill Belichick, Pat Patriot and anyone else who's ever been remotely affiliated with the team, Rams walkthrough bumbler John Tomase did receive a little bit of grace from t...

Are The Brewers Going To Fire Ned Yost Today? One Fiesty Little Blog Says Yes
A small political site called Badger Blogger reported late Sunday that Ned Yost is likely to be fired by the Brewers this afternoon. Badger Blogger says it's unconfirmed, but they have it from a source "close to the team." A blog called Badger Blogger has sources? Cool. The Milwaukee Journal-Sentine...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured it's message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Jelena Is Excitable
Jelena Jankovic defeated the unseeded Alizé Cornet in straight sets to retain her title in the Italian Open before celebrating with a bit of champagne....