week Page 7 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We Must Destigmatize Farting
Bolder minds envision a world free of strife, hunger, inequality. My utopia is a little more modest and attainable: a world where people pass gas freely and openly whenever they have to, unfettered by social mores....
How Many Coworkers Are You Allowed To Bone?
A version of this blog has sat in my drafts folder since March. It would be nice to say that I didn’t publish it back then because we were “going through a change”—we were, we hired two new writers—and it was maybe not the time to gratuitously throw the word “bone” (the colloquial word for the sex a...
<i>SI</i>'s Peter King: I Like To Eat Diarrhea, It's Good, Mmm, Gimme That Hot Diarrhea With Onions
Here is Peter King, a face drawn on the side of Roger Goodell’s hand, telling you two ways that he likes to eat diarrhea. He likes to eat diarrhea on top of spaghetti with onions and cheese, and he likes to eat diarrhea on a hot dog, also with onions, but with no mustard....
Alex Rodriguez Was Big Enough To Take All The Blame
It’s obvious where this begins: Thirteen years ago, at baseball’s annual winter meetings, the entire story was Alex Rodriguez and when and where he would be going. The Texas Rangers, who’d averaged 90 losses in three seasons with Rodriguez at shortstop, had made clear that they wanted out from under...
Steve Martin Is My Body Icon
I assume that there is an amount of working out, tanning, waxing, and grooming I could do in order to be a moderately more handsome person. I have no interest in doing this. My body icon isn’t a Hemsworth or a Tyrese. It’s Steve Martin, who has mastered the art of looking like the same person for as...
What To Pack For A Nuclear Attack You Won't Survive Anyway
I spend most of my time thinking about one of two frightening things: how I could have had more fun in college, and what will happen when there’s a nuclear attack against the United States. (And I do believe it will happen in my lifetime.) Nuclear war and nuclear terrorism are just about the scaries...
Deadspin Fears The Basketblogging Horde
There is a private Slack channel that exists entirely to serve as a gallery of weak-sauce garbage takes culled from the big, bloated hellhole that is NBA basketblogging. All your favorites can be found there: Such-And-Such Good Player is Actually Bad Because Analytics; Sam Hinkie, Tragic Hero; Is Su...
I Killed My Own Book Proposal By Blogging About A Sad Flopsweaty Douchebag Clown
Sometimes people ask me why no Foodspin book exists. I have never told them why. The answer is very embarrassing!...
An Oral History Of Our "Go Fuck Yourself" Tweet To Donald Trump
On January 16, 2013, Deadspin published an exposé of Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te’o’s fake dead girlfriend. The next morning, reality TV personality Donald Trump tweeted his congratulations. Fourteen minutes later, Deadspin tweeted back “Go fuck yourself.” This is the story of that tweet, as told ...
Give The Field Hockey Guys Longer Sticks
I’ve been watching Olympic field hockey all morning, and I have discovered that I quite enjoy the sport. I like how they whack the ball really hard and that there are corner kicks, er, slaps. I do have one critique: The dang sticks are too short!...
Battle Of The Bulge: That Time A Possible John McEnroe Dong Shot Didn't Have The Ethics
Deadspin has dong-shot standards....
I Freakin' Love SoulCycle, Okay?
Confession: I like SoulCycle. More than “like,” even. I love it. ...
More Pop Songs Should Have Horns In Them
Many pop songs have guitars in them. Ditto drums and piano and synthesizers. Fine! That’s fine. I am not here to take your guitars and drums and pianos and synthesizers away. I am just here to say, more pop songs should have horns in them....
This Site Has Too Much Soccer
I like soccer. I like watching the World Cup and six-second Vines of Lionel Messi doing fancy shit with the ball. I also laugh at old-timey columnists who dump on soccer in a public attempt to increase penile girth. ...
The Pettiest Posts We Never Published
One recurring complaint about Deadspin is that we’re too mean. We’re certainly snarky, abstruse, and too easily pleased with ourselves, but the notion that we’re too mean is ridiculous. If anything, we’re not mean enough, because we occasionally have the sense to pull a punch on a target that’s too ...
Fall In Love, Get Married, Grow Old Together, And Then Cry
One of the most terrifying things about love is that it’s supposed to last forever. “I want someone that I can grow old with,” is an allegedly romantic thing that people write on dating sites to show that they are not afraid of commitment. (“I want someone to take care of/take care of me” is its cre...
That Time We Got Jason Whitlock To Say That <i>Mein Kampf</i> "Isn't Bad"
Before he was the sleepy co-host of All Takes Matter, and after he was the failed editor-in-chief of The Undefeated, Jason Whitlock was just a dude with a blog. Despite our best efforts, though, Whitlock never published an excerpt of Mein Kampf on that blog....
Staycation Out Of Bed
A long weekend approaches. Let’s say that you have not been blessed with the kind of friends or family who plan nice things for your lazy self to do (while smoothly handling all the tedious logistics), or that you have purposefully blocked this space of time out to do nothing and be with no one. Slo...
Justin Bieber, Carrie Underwood, The Weeknd, And More Iso Vocals From Last Night's Awards Shows
While you were busy watching Wrestlemania or The Walking Dead or something, a pair of second-tier awards shows aired—one sponsored by a bullshit media company tied into this weekend’s Final Four, and the other just another one of country music’s 184 occasions upon which to celebrate itself. We picke...
John Oliver RUDELY INTERRUPTS Yankees Grounds Crew's "Y.M.C.A." Performance, LOUDLY FARTS Directly Onto George Steinbrenner Monument In Front Of His Sons
The Yankees suck. You knew this—their new policies prohibit print-at-home tickets, a move specifically designed to stop fans from reselling premium seats at below-face-value prices. When asked why, COO Lonn Trost said it’s to protect rich fans from having to sit next to the poors. Luckily for your e...