whimsy Page 44 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cris Carter Clowns Warren Sapp During Interview, May Have Death Wish
Warren Sapp is not a man with whom to be messed, and yet fellow Hall of Famer Cris Carter gave him a mighty videobomb during Sapp's interview during tonight's NFL preseason opener....
Musclebound Mets Fan Can't Open Water Bottle
Here, from yesterday, is your argument against the efficacy of PED use. ...
David Aardsma's Bed Is Missing
Fortunately, David Aardsma also has jokes:...
Video Shows Inmate's Remarkably Easy Escape From Jail
Some solid police work here. Derrick Estell was being held in the Garland County (Ark.) Detention Center on Sunday on charges including aggravated robbery, burglary, and theft. But when deputies left him unattended for a moment, he hopped a counter, jumped out a window, and ran toward a getaway car....
What Food Does Rex Grossman Want Named After Him? Beer, Of Course
DC Sports Bog's Sarah Kogod decided to go around and ask a bunch of Redskins players what a restaurant dish named after them would look like. Some of the answers she got are very funny—and you should go check them all out—but Rex Grossman's response was by far the best thing to come out of the endea...
Gerrit Cole Picks Nose, Eats Booger
The immediate cut to Pirates pitcher Gerrit Cole sitting by himself with what looks like his finger in his nose suggests a directorial decision to catch him in the act of picking his nose. But it gets better....
Bob Ryan's Twitter Account Is An Exercise In Muted Despair
When Peter Gammons sends out one of his patented butt-tweets, it's an occasion for laughter, because old guys who don't understand technology are always funny. But retired Boston Globe columnist Bob Ryan's misuse of the social media platform makes us feel sad. Ryan definitely wants to say something,...
Miguel Cabrera Tries To Force-Feed One Of His Teammates
A sore hip flexor kept Miguel Cabrera out of the Tigers' lineup last night, so he had to find other ways to keep himself entertained. Did he read a book? Bust out his iPad? No, he tried to shove a cookie into Brayan Pena's mouth. ...
Jay Cutler's 1980s Party Costume Is Ridiculous, As Expected
Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari threw an '80s-themed charity party tonight, and, as one would expect, Cutler looks ridiculous....
How To Do A Bieber Fangirl Story: Ask About The Eagles' QB Dilemma
Dear local television producers: If you insist on assigning a reporter to do an on-camera spot from outside an event like a Justin Bieber concert, don't have her play it straight. Don't have her ask stupid questions that elicit nothing but squeals of joy and shouts of excitement. Don't have her show...
Hey, Everyone, Look At This Azerbaijani Wrestler's Wonderful Dance
At the 27th Summer Universiade earlier this week, Azerbaijani wrestler Rasul Chunayev found himself squaring off against Russian foe Islambek Albiev for tournament gold in the 66 kg weight class. It didn't take him long to secure the win, which was good for him and good for us as, at about the 0:34 ...
Prince Fielder Hitting A Triple While McCarver Recites “Enter Sandman”
Some strange things happened at tonight's All-Star Game in New York. A Kansas City player got a hit, for one. (The last Royal to do that was Bo Jackson.) Yankees closer Mariano Rivera entered the game in a save situation, but didn't earn the save. The weirdest parts, though? That Prince Fielder hit...
“Howie Felterbush” Has A Wife, And She Was At The Zimmerman Trial Too
Despite telling USA Today he didn't wish to be photographed, George Zimmerman trial spectator "Howie Felterbush" did get captured by the cameras of Jacksonville's First Coast News, alongside his wife "Cindy" (who also provided a quote to the news outlet)....
Steve "Mongo" McMichael Ran A Red Light, Has Sub-Par Letter Carrier
From a reader and neighbor of the former Super Bowl champ:...
Raiders Fan “Dr. Death” Campaigns For New Stadium At Public Meeting
The Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum Authority held a meeting today to discuss the economic feasibility of funding a new stadium that would keep the Raiders in Oakland for the foreseeable future. The meeting included time for concerned citizens to make public comments, and one Raiders superfan took f...
SEC Information Director Has Very SEC Wedding Notes
The best part of these notes? The attention to detail that gets the wedding party's heights on the front page. Congrats to the bride and groom....
Chris Davis: Homer-Crusher, Ear-Penetrator
J.J. Hardy mashed a three-run homer last night to lead the O's to an 8-5 win over the Blue Jays in Baltimore, with Chris Davis and Adam Jones adding round-trippers as well. The latter pair got into some hijinks on the way back to the dugout after Hardy's bomb, with Davis giving Jones a textbook wet ...
Baron Davis Says He Was Abducted By Aliens
Former NBA star Baron Davis appeared on a recent episode of The Champs, a podcast hosted by comedians Neal Brennan and Moshe Kasher, and he spoke briefly about the time he was abducted by aliens while driving from Las Vegas to L.A. Sure, Baron Davis, why the hell not?...
Local Reporter Hilariously Demonstrates How To Survive A Bear Attack
The good folks at WJAR in Providence, R.I., do not want you to get eaten by a bear. So they sent Julie Tremmel and a cameraman out into a dark field and had them film a very helpful guide to surviving a bear attack. The key to survival appears to be making crazy eyes....