whimsy Page 55 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jeff Garlin Struggles Through "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" Before Telling Tigers Fans They Suck
Actor, comedian, and Cubs fan Jeff Garlin took issue with Tigers fans at Wrigley today for being "irritating" or, more accurately, existing. "There are just so many of them too," he told Len Kasper and Bob Brenly in the Cubs broadcast box. He decided to hang out for a while after the rough perform...
The Thunder Are A Matchup Nightmare For Copy Editors. So Is The Heat.
Tonight's tipoff between the Oklahoma City Thunder and the Miami Heat is a milestone for American pro sports. For the first time, a major championship is pitting two teams whose names are mass nouns rather than ordinary plurals. The naming fad that gave us the Heat and the Orlando Magic at the end o...
Why Does This High School Basketball Team Photo Have An Uzi And A Tank In It?
We all love laughing at old team photos. There's the passé fashion and the awkward facial expressions, and some dude's dumb dog is always the "team mascot." The photo above is no exception. Look at those short shorts! The bad haircuts! The gigantic tank and semi-automatic weapon! What a bunch of dw...
Watch Mark Reynolds Strike Out 100 Times In Two Minutes
Last week, Baltimore Orioles first baseman/third baseman/designated hitter Mark Reynolds broke the record for fastest player to 1,000 career strikeouts. According to the Elias Sports Bureau, the record had belonged to Russell Branyan. But Branyan didn't get to set the record until 2010, when he w...
The Miami Heat's "Good Job, Good Effort" Kid As Heard Throughout History
He was there to tell Napoleon "Good job!" when the Little Emperor invaded Russia. He called the 1962 Mets season a "good effort." The young Heat fan who so enthusiastically endorsed his team's performance after last night's loss to the Celtics is no stranger to momentous occasions—in sports or oth...
Behold Shin-Kicking, An Actual Competitive Sport In England
Says The Daily Mirror: "The rules of shin kicking are very simple. Kick your opponent to the ground and you win. No throwing, tripping or pulling—the 'fall' must be precipitated by a kick to the shins." Very well....
The L.A. Kings Taunted The Devils With Giant <em>Jersey Shore</em> Cutouts Yesterday
We already knew that the L.A. Kings were the most fun team to make it to the Stanley Cup Finals in recent memory, thanks in large part to the team's playful and hilarious Twitter feed and their unique style of play. They're also probably the best team to make it to the Stanley Cup finals in a while—...
Today In Photograph And Caption Synergy: Caroline Wozniacki Shits A Return
Maybe she had a stomach bug? Maybe she was tired of all the 40-all scores? Whatever the reason, Woz laid a stinker on the court at the French Open today and was ousted by Estonian Kaia Kanepi, 6-1, 6-7 (3-7) 6-3....
Hulk Hogan Retweeted Gentleman Because He "Went Balls Deep" On His Daughter Brooke
Generally speaking, the practice of asking for a retweet should be frowned upon as the last resort of the pathetic, but there are exceptions to every rule. One need not look any further than this masterpiece of random craziness....
Chan Ho Park Is Bad At Rapping, Good At Poking Himself In The Eye
Hey, have you been wondering what Chan Ho Park is up to these days? Me neither! But that matters little to Chan Ho Park, who is currently back in his home country of South Korea, pitching for the Hanwha Eagles, and living the life of a fucking boss. Well, at least as far as life insurance commerci...
Metta World Peace Wishes You All A Happy Labor Day
In a way, it is sort of fitting that World Peace can't remember Memorial Day, but we're guessing this has less to do with Metta being meta and more to do with Metta being Metta. Enjoy it....
Bob Saget Sang The National Anthem At A White Sox Game Yesterday For Some Reason
So, this happened yesterday and...it...wasn't terrible? I mean, don't get me wrong, it's no Whitney at the Super Bowl or Marvin Gaye at the All-Star game, but it's no Carl Lewis at a random Nets-Bulls game, either....
Rex Ryan Gives Miami Dolphins Fans His Blessing On Their Wedding Day
A reader sends in this photo he discovered while doing a bit of Facebook stalking. While he did not provide many details of the events that lead to this picture's existence, we can make a few inferences....
Watch Shaq Mug For The Cameras With The World's Smallest Primate
On this lazy Sunday morning, enjoy a heartwarming video of a photo shoot featuring Shaquille O'Neal and Fuggles the mouse lemur. Here's a little more info, from the uploader:...
This Umpire Might Have The Most Exaggerated Strike-Three Call Of All Time
All we know about this video is that it was recorded over the weekend at Campbell Field in Rock Island, Ill. Well, that and the umpire in it really wants you to know he called that pitch a strike....
Steve Bartman's True Identity Revealed: He's Al Bundy
First, we brought you the Jose Canseco joke that launched a thousand Jose Canseco jokes. Now, we bring you evidence that Steve Bartman is Al Bundy. Or perhaps even more insidious, Bartman was merely a stooge in a wide ranging conspiracy to prove the writers of Married...With Children soothsaying o...
This Is Quite Possibly The Worst Ceremonial First Pitch Ever
This is Jessica Jung of the wildly popular (??) South Korean ensemble Girls' Generation. It's a nine member group with at least one "subunit." I did a lot of research for you guys....
An Unassisted Triple Play Is So Easy A 6-Year-Old Can Do It
And to think, there's only been 15 of these in MLB history. Pffft....
What If Every Pitcher In Baseball Were Mariano Rivera?
Trying to compare Mariano Rivera to other pitchers is like trying to compare a photon to other sprinters. Out for out, the difference between him and Pedro Martinez is the difference between Pedro and a league-average player. He hasn't had a full season much better or worse than any other, but he's ...
Is Jonny Gomes The Biggest Douchebag In Baseball?
The scene: May 5, 2012. The 13-14 Oakland Athletics and the 19-8 Tampa Bay Rays are all tied up in the 10th 12th inning in Tampa when Jonny Gomes steps to the plate. Gomes would give the Athletics the lead when he hit a baseball the smallest distance possible for a ball to be hit and still be consi...