whimsy Page 69 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Random Reader Email: The Creepiest Home Invasion Ever
Here's a poor soul who walked into their apartment one morning to find a stranger there. Jarring, right? But it's so random and weird that...well just read it....
Today In Rather Bizarre Potential Kurt Warner Movie News
"Warner has talked to movie producers interested in making Warner's life story. Kurt's wife Brenda wants Denzel Washington play the lead." That concludes Today In Rather Bizarre Potential Kurt Warner Movie News. [Pro Football Talk, H/T Disco Choo]...
Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Adonal Foyle
Welcome to Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater, the feature where we look at video love letters to players that are even less deserving than usual. Today's subject: NBA big man Adonal Foyle—who announced today that he's retiring—set to "Age of Aquarius." ...
This Is What Happens When You Try To Chug An Entire Bottle Of Patron
Drinking alcohol and chugging alcohol go hand-in-hand in today's party scene. Whether you're icing your bro or using a three-story beer bong, you're chugging. But what happens when you try to chug a bottle of Patron? Vomit. Lots of vomit....
Whitney Cummings Makes That Pamela Anderson-Magic Johnson HIV Joke You've Been Waiting For
During the Comedy Central Roast of David Hasselhoff, comedienne Whitney Cummings took a shot at Pamela Anderson's penchant for sleeping with rock stars, imploring the former V.I.P. star to "drink a vat of Magic Johnson's blood"— because HIV/AIDS is hilllllllarious....
Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Chris Kaman
Welcome to Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater, the feature where we examine the fan-made video love letters to their favorite athletes and the baffling music choices that are added in post-production. Today's lucky subject: Los Angeles Clipper Chris Kaman....
Look At These Fucking Hoopsters: Grab Bag
Welcome back to Look At This Fucking Hoopster. I think this latest batch should slake your thirst for the indie bros you love to mock so much. Part One | Part Two | Part Three...
200 Beer Bottles Opened In 80 Seconds? Believe It
In the pantheon of useless talents, this rates somewhere between reciting Pi to the hundredth digit and throwing a knuckleball. I'd be more impressed if he had kept even one beer from overflowing with head....
Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Austin Croshere
Welcome back to Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater. Today's laughably out-of-place subject? Bill Walton absolutely loved saying his name: Austin Croshere. The song: "Bad Lands," by rappers Zion I & The Grouch....
Furry Tries To Legally Change His Name To "Boomer The Dog"
Gary Guy Mathews. A perfectly good name. But Mr. Mathews wants to officially be known as Boomer the Dog, to go along with his homemade fursuit....
Look At These Fucking Hoopsters At Lollapalooza: Part Two
Welcome to the second edition of the Hoopsters of Lollapalooza 2010. There's been some debate over whether of not some of the entrants are real "hipsters" or merely "bros." Why though? This is a forum for ridicule, not ontological precision. Onto the pictures! Part One | Part Two | Part Three...
Hot Piece Of Ass Who Quit Job Was Probably A Stunt
Today, all The Internet wanted to talk about was Jet Blue Guy's zany escape from employment—or the press's red-faced descriptions of how the police found him—and all of a sudden Dry Erase Board Girl came out of nowhere. She's fake....
Introducing The Dancing Man Of Wrigleyville
Wrigleyville, the neighborhood around Wrigley Field, has long been known for its "scene." Want to meet the future ex-Mrs. Malcolm? That's the place to go. Well, Wrigleyville has a new sight attracting the hordes: this dancing guy....
Keyboard-Throwing Contest Goes About As Well As Expected
Like all fledgling non-Olympic sports, Keyboard Toss still has to work out a lot of kinks. Regulation equipment and throwing motions are good starts but they should probably focus on how not to hit the cameramen....
When Intentional Walks Go Horribly, Horribly Wrong (Video)
Click to view What happens in extra innings when you need to intentionally walk the bases full but you've been possessed by the ghost of 2000 NLDS Rick Ankiel? Embarrassment! This is almost too painful to watch. [Today's Big Thing, MLBlogs]...
The Trick Shot Controversies Continue
The semantics battle between trick-shot crews continues today after news surfaced of a third claimant to the "world's farthest/longest/other synonym" shot title. Meet the corn-pone spitfires that make up the East Side trick-shot crew....
Why The Hell Are Scientists Actively Trying To Enrage Monkeys?
When a lede mentions that "a new study in monkey-antagonism has found" research that "could pave the way for advanced methods of enraging monkeys" you keep reading and then start to ask questions. Questions like: "The hell?" and "Why does this exist?"...
Reporter Interviewing An Ice Sculptor? What Can Possibly Go Wrong?
The world would be a far worse place if it weren't for the heroes committing gaffes on local newscasts. Whether they're advocating continued fowl fornicating or digging into whether penis is being enjoyed or not, they light up our lives....
Today In Dogs Raving Their Faces Off
Per YouTube user BlueBlazeful, "Like anyone at a rave, he's either really feeling the music, or he's got rabies." We don't know what kind of raves BlueBlazeful attends, but if there are techno loving dogs there, we want to go....